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Sunday, November 16, 2008

To discuss extremely erotic comments after my posts

Dear Porn Spammers:

You know all those lovely comments I get after my posts, full of compliments, quips and jokes?

It's a bit of a rude change of pace when I get something like the following:

Escort Girl Directory said...

Hi, Its a good job, .. Nice blog keep it up…..www.adultgirlsdirectory.com

I'm guessing you didn't really enjoy my post about using wrong names and fun Google searches. I'm guessing you also missed that day in ninth grade when they discussed grammar.

Here's the thing, porn spammers. I recently took down that requirement for my commenters to type in that cyborg crap used as a filter. You know, CHSCX and DSWWK and SEXYFUNTIME. It was a hassle, and I want my commenters to have no hassle at all.

But then, I get stuff like this:

Connecticut escorts said...

Giving your social life some steam and a real boost can be quite a task if you don’t know where to look for the right kind of factors to provide you the much needed impetus. Demonstrating a soliloquy in the social sphere in a self-desired manner is one thing and failing to land a good date for those special evenings is another. Although the first kind is in no way a potential sucker for the paid wonders of a beautiful and talented date, the second group has been seen to rely heavily on the services provided by escort service agencies. For more information visit: www.exxxtremeerotica.com

Now, I'm confused. Did you read that same entry and decide that I have too much time on my hands? Did you decide that my girlfriend Capricorn isn't real? Did you skip my entry on not being able to afford Little Debbie snacks and mistakenly believe I have money for call girls? Did you think I was a fan of "Pretty Woman"? Do you need Jesus?
Also, what if I didn't want "Extreme" erotica, and instead just wanted normal, everyday erotica? Do you have hookers I can go to McDonald's with? That might be fun... just a thought. I do appreciate your use of "soliloquy," as it appears you just ripped open a dictionary and used the first big word you found.
So, Porn Spammers, I'm afraid that, just like the dust mop on a Swiffer commercial, you're out the door. My filter is back up (sorry, regular commenters). You'll just have to provide extreme pleasure to some other blogger.

Regards,
Andy

P.S. Can you tell your friends to stop peppering my Yahoo account with porn spam, too? You're giving me a complex about my "size." I'm two steps away from trying Extenze, risk-free for 90 days.
P.P.S. Blog friends- I know it's tempting, but do not visit those sites and let the porn people win. And by that, I mean lie and tell me you haven't already clicked on the sites. And by that, I mean tell me what's on those sites, because I'm curious.

14 comments:

Ben said...

Andy? Connecticut Escorts was me. I'm sorry.

Diane said...

It's just 'cause you're hott, darlin'. See, I'm not the only one who thinks so ;).

CharmCityChica said...

Wow. Good stuff! Haven't gotten those comments yet!

Far said...

ok so i dont have a word verification and i dont get such sexytime spam! watch now i will cuz i said that lol...
i hate that damn word verification thing with a passion but ill live with it for u lol..

Marinka said...

I like the comment "nice blog keep it up". Subliminal, no?

Amy xxoo said...

What an annoyance - thank god they havent started commenting on my site yet. That might be because you are waaaaaaaaaay more popular than my good self, but i guess we'll see...

Miss Tiff said...

This is exactly why I have word verification. I don't really get porn commenters on my site. Maybe you have to reach a certain level of blog popularity.

Miss Tiff said...

Who top banner thingy has changed a bit. Nice :)

Miss Tiff said...

*whoa

Sam_I_am said...

Are you sure the Connecticut escorts aren't just tracking you down from when you lived there? Did you skip out on a bill and now they found you? I'm sure an escort costs more than a Little Debbie Cake.... a good one at least.

Jozet at Halushki said...

Peppering spam?

I thought that was a Hawaiian delicacy.

Now I'm hungry.

~Sheila~ said...

I got some crazy people flocking to my blog when I posted this:

http://sheangel1019.blogspot.com/2008/09/snowball.html

Escorts said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Andy said...

Are you kidding me, escorts? I just wrote about you guys, and now you're back. Get a life, douchebags

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