Thursday, July 23, 2009

To discuss a TV Play by Play: 16 and Pregnant Finale

Most MTV reality shows have all the seriousness and maturity of a couple of 16-year-olds. So it's a bit surprising that one of their most serious, mature shows is about 16-year-olds. "16 and Pregnant" is basically a whole series of "True Life: I'm 16 and Crazy Preggers." On Thursday, there was a reunion special, and, if you're like Haute Pocket, LBluca or me, you watched with great curiousity. Here's my TV Play by Play recap:

:02 Amber said she threw up 51 times while giving birth. Was she on a tequila drip?

:05 Capricorn thinks I'm in love with Farrah. I'm not! I'm not. I definitely am not attracted to a 16-year-old mom. Shush. C'mon.

:06 Farrah's mom said she didn't really think she actually hit Farrah when she was driving. Yeah and your daughter didn't really get preggos. She just kind of got knocked up.

:08 Does anybody remember the awesome Dr. Drew show, "Loveline," with Adam Carolla? It was my sex ed, basically. That, and MTV's "Undressed."

:13 Don't think Ryan, Maci's bf, will win any Father of the Year awards. But he could easily get on that "Why Is She Going Out With Him?" show.

:16 "16 and Pregnant" might be responsible for more high school boys not getting any than any sex ed program ever. They should show this at church camp.

:20 Ryan apologizes to Maci on national television for being a deadbeat dad. I'd say he'll definitely get make-up sex out of it, but that's probably what got them in this predicament in the first place.

:23 Ryan and Maci say they never considered abortion. In fact, none of the teens on this show had an abortion. What, is MTV saving that for season two? What happens in season three? A girl sends her child down a river in a basket, Moses-style?

:29 Holy crap, I love Gary. I almost forgot how awesome he was-- buying a $500 Playstation when his teenage girlfriend is pregnant. That takes a real man to ignore obvious financial problems.

:30 "$21.40 on the (engagement) ring? $500 on the game console? Dude, priorities straight?" Drew asks.... Gary comes back with, "I love her, and all that matters." Gary! You're a champion. Please sign this ultrasound for me.

:31 Gary recommends "the industrial-sized box" of condoms. I'd suggest industrial strength, too. Made of steel and pesticides.

:33 Amber: "We're not trying to glamorize teen pregnancy." Good to hear. But I think guilty of glamorizing Wal-mart jewelry.

:38 Ever look at a couple and just don't get that "yeah, they look like they belong together" feeling? We now welcome Josh and Ebony to the show.

:42 Imagine if this show would have aired during prom season. All high school kids would make it home by 11 p.m. and all the girls would have to put off their first walk of shame until the first week of pledging at college.

:47 More than 700,000 teen pregnancies a year. More than 699,999 guys who thought, "Yeah, I'll just pull out and we'll be cool."

:50 Most responsible parents on this series: Catelynn and Tyler, who gave their baby up for adoption. I can barely give away stuff to Goodwill.

:55 Oh crap, now we're going to make the tears flow- Catelynn's reunited with her baby, with a visit by the adoption parents. This show is 1,000 times better than The Hills. Why can't Catelynn be on the cover of Cosmo instead of L.C. and Whitney? (Well, for one, Cosmo couldn't have a bunch of headlines touting "Have Great Sex Tonight!")

:59 What have we learned so far tonight, kiddies? Unprotected sex as a teen? Bad. Sex with a guy who's not very mature? Bad. Babies? Adorable. Gary? Amazing. MTV? Needs to follow up with "13 and Pregnant: Never Too Young to Start."

1:04 Sounds like Catelyn and Tyler hope baby Carly's adopted parents adopt them, too. Can we make that happen? Spin-off!

1:13 Dr. Drew is really great at subliminally reminded all these kids they kinda shoulda not have banged without protection.

1:14 Whitney says her baby has liver problems, which is a very unfortunate thing to hear. Whitney offers her own perspective on it, saying she's worried when he gets older, he'll be at a party and won't be able to drink. You can't fault her for not looking out for the long-term.

1:21 All six girls say they didn't use condoms when they got pregnant. Trojan execs breathe a sigh of relief, as it would be hard to market a campaign around, "As seen on '16 and Pregnant.'"

1:25 Creepy old man status update: The teen girls are all talking about breastfeeding. I feel awkward. I'm going to grab a snack.

1:30 All the babies are brought out. I haven't seen this much wedlock since... since... I've never seen this much wedlock. Congratulations, babies. You were reality stars before you even took a breath. Please grow up quickly and replace the cast of Real World: Cancun.


Zan said...

I tried watching that show once. It made me physically ill.

kisatrtle said...

I agree with Zan this show makes me sick.

LBluca77 said...

51 times! HA! Talk about dramatic. I loved how she denied hitting Farrah. Hello lady we all have eyes. She is gonna be one crazy grandma.

I felt bad for the red head girl when I watched her episode. Her boyfriend was a tool. She did seem very responsible though with getting her own apartment and buying furniture. Hopefully her boyfriend gets better.

Dr. Drew calling out Gary with his $21 ring was hilarious.

Catelynn and Tyler made me cry. Of all the teens they look like the least responsible but they are amazing. I hope MTV continues to update us with them. But I hear you about giving things away. I have 2 large bags I need to donate to Goodwill but yet I have yet to do so. Parting is not easy.

There is probably some teen getting knocked up right now as I type this. Which makes me excited for season 2.

Great review!!

Soda and Candy said...

Ugh, pregnant sixteen year olds.

"They should show this at church camp." hahahaha, damn straight.

WuTang said...

The Gary episode is the only one I've ever seen. I was horrified by the show going into it, but then when he bought that right?
"$21.40 on the (engagement) ring? $500 on the game console? Dude, priorities straight?"
That was pretty much my exact thought. I'm so glad I made it out of my teens alive. And childless.

elle michelle said...

I could NOT get enough of this trash.

Amy xxoo said...

We havent gotten this in Australia thus far, bu ti would have watched it if it had been on.

Seeing as i'm pregnant myself and everything, i'm devouring anything and everything pregnancy and baby related....

bianca said...

oh how I love your play by plays.

I watched that show a few times and it just made me cringe. But since Dr. Drew was on, I have to watch. Good thing MTV reairs the same show every other hour so I can watch it when I get my freedom back

gracie-mel said...

This was a great show; better than TLC's "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant!"

Dr. Drew has just enough street cred to ask these kids the tough questions:
"Aren't you a baby having a baby??"
(tearfully) "yes!!"
But you don't feel uncomfortable for either of them!

Can't wait for next season.

*~Dani~* said...

Wedlock? Was there really any wedlock? Of did you mean "out of wedlock"? Or were you being sarcastic? I dont know what is going on!

Oh, and how long until Dr. Drew attempted to link these teen pregnancies to childhood abuse? Dr. Drew LOVES childhood abuse. That's what I learned from Lovelines.

Andy said...

Zan- That's just morning sickness.
Kisa- Double for you.
LBluca- I wish I was as responsible as the red head. Of course, if she was that responsible with protection, she wouldn't be in that mess. Catch 22. Or Touche. Or whatever.
Soda- I'm not joking- it would help.
WuTang- Six out of six preggo teens can't be wrong- being a pregnant teenager sucks.
Elle- I can't wait for season two. It might be one of my new favorite MTV shows, now that they have ruined Making the Band.
Amy- I'm so happy that your pregnancy is nothing at all like the girls on this show.
Bianca- Dr Drew needs to interview more teenage moms. I'd make that its own show.
Gracie- I just can't understand how there are that many women who go "holy crap- there's a baby coming out of me!"
Dani- Wedlock is just a ridiculous term to begin with- like you need a key to unlock yourself, a la Black Snake Moan. I was being partially sarcastic- half of them got married/engaged just because the girl got knocked up.

Anonymous said...

Damn it, I missed the reunion. Granted, I haven't seen all the episodes, but now I want to that much more! It's like Juno but an hour at a time and every week. Woohooo.

Yet with fewer quips and less morals... Naturally.

tony sirloin said...

I wonder if Gary is still playing playstation? Thanks for surmising a show I wondered about, but am glad that I missed.

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