To discuss ... well let's just turn back the clock a month

Dear remaining blog readers:

You know how we just turned the clock back an hour this weekend? Let's pretend we turned it back about a month, to the last time I was gracious as to not be a douche and actually write on the blog instead of getting caught up in things. That way, I can at least try to justify where I've been and what I've been doing. And please update me on what you've been up to, which assuredly is better and funnier.

1. Bought a car: I am one of those people that will research a potential decision/purchase within an inch of its miserable, wretched life ... and then decide not to do it after all.

While I've improved this in recent years, the framework remains.

I've been wanting to get a new car for a hot minute or whatever the kids say,

as mine had 150k miles and blah blah blah. But I promised myself that if I couldn't find a good match within a couple attempts, that was it. As it turned out, on my last attempt, I got a good deal.

How did I get a good deal? I negotiated those bitches. I talked them down, or as we say in my family, I "had them sharpen their pencils a little bit." We say weird things in my family.

So I got a 2010 Mazda 3, and, once I cleared the dead hookers out of the trunk, I really have enjoyed it.

Fun fact: The salesman, a very nice man, is also the type that likes to overshare. Have you ever met someone like that, who tells you everything about them without being prompted? Things I know about Salesman: He's divorced. He has one kid here, and one across the state. He'd like to know my advice about moving across the state. He's had a vasectomy. He has poor credit now (I was shown his credit report), but is working on paying some medical bills. He has a DUI. He was unemployed last year. He partied in college. He likes football. He drives a Toyota.

2. Oxymorons: The improv comedy group I helped form has had two shows now, which means we are perfectly legitimate, thank you very much.

We even have more than 150 Facebook fans even though about 120 of them have no idea who we are, 20 of them thought our page said Oxiclean, 5 of them click "Like" to any request, and 5 of them are the people in the group. We'll have more clips up soon from recent shows, if you ever want to see it.

Improv comedy is crazy hard. Unlike writing a humor blog, you don't have time to think about what you want to say. Your innermost thoughts come through in those moments ... and after two shows, my innermost thoughts evidently revolve around murdering babies (or at least related jokes).

3. Musicals: I wrapped up The Music Man. That put to bed more than six months of commitment to musicals (along with "1776"). Last Friday night was my first Friday night without a commitment in a long time. I think I know what high school football coaches feel like after they retire.

4. Stand up comedy: I've done three "sets" now, as we say in the biz, except no one says biz other than losers trying to get in the biz ohgodandystopsayingbiz. Good results so far. I'd like to thank all of you for any marginal success I have, as basically I'm just taking things I've said in this blog in the past two years that got laughs and translating it into stand up. Now I'm trying to figure out how to do a stand up version of my Cosmo reviews... ideas?

Here's video of my last show; the link is here if that works better.

5. Cable: I've decided to cut my cable down to the very basic channels (eventually when I move, I may just use over the air antenna stations, which come in HD anyway... I just don't get enough stations right now). This is a change of lifestyle, really. I won't have nearly as many shows to watch around the time they are first run, so that means more time for all the other stuff I just listed and oh yeah writing. Downside: I have to wait for "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" and my new favorite show, "The Walking Dead." Upside: I'm saving $40 a month and not wasting money on television that I haven't had much time to watch.

6. I've missed you.