Monday, November 8, 2010

To discuss ... well let's just turn back the clock a month

Dear remaining blog readers:
You know how we just turned the clock back an hour this weekend? Let's pretend we turned it back about a month, to the last time I was gracious as to not be a douche and actually write on the blog instead of getting caught up in things. That way, I can at least try to justify where I've been and what I've been doing. And please update me on what you've been up to, which assuredly is better and funnier.

1. Bought a car: I am one of those people that will research a potential decision/purchase within an inch of its miserable, wretched life ... and then decide not to do it after all.
While I've improved this in recent years, the framework remains.
I've been wanting to get a new car for a hot minute or whatever the kids say,
as mine had 150k miles and blah blah blah. But I promised myself that if I couldn't find a good match within a couple attempts, that was it. As it turned out, on my last attempt, I got a good deal.
How did I get a good deal? I negotiated those bitches. I talked them down, or as we say in my family, I "had them sharpen their pencils a little bit." We say weird things in my family.
So I got a 2010 Mazda 3, and, once I cleared the dead hookers out of the trunk, I really have enjoyed it.
Fun fact: The salesman, a very nice man, is also the type that likes to overshare. Have you ever met someone like that, who tells you everything about them without being prompted? Things I know about Salesman: He's divorced. He has one kid here, and one across the state. He'd like to know my advice about moving across the state. He's had a vasectomy. He has poor credit now (I was shown his credit report), but is working on paying some medical bills. He has a DUI. He was unemployed last year. He partied in college. He likes football. He drives a Toyota.

2. Oxymorons: The improv comedy group I helped form has had two shows now, which means we are perfectly legitimate, thank you very much.
We even have more than 150 Facebook fans even though about 120 of them have no idea who we are, 20 of them thought our page said Oxiclean, 5 of them click "Like" to any request, and 5 of them are the people in the group. We'll have more clips up soon from recent shows, if you ever want to see it.
Improv comedy is crazy hard. Unlike writing a humor blog, you don't have time to think about what you want to say. Your innermost thoughts come through in those moments ... and after two shows, my innermost thoughts evidently revolve around murdering babies (or at least related jokes).

3. Musicals: I wrapped up The Music Man. That put to bed more than six months of commitment to musicals (along with "1776"). Last Friday night was my first Friday night without a commitment in a long time. I think I know what high school football coaches feel like after they retire.

4. Stand up comedy: I've done three "sets" now, as we say in the biz, except no one says biz other than losers trying to get in the biz ohgodandystopsayingbiz. Good results so far. I'd like to thank all of you for any marginal success I have, as basically I'm just taking things I've said in this blog in the past two years that got laughs and translating it into stand up. Now I'm trying to figure out how to do a stand up version of my Cosmo reviews... ideas?
Here's video of my last show; the link is here if that works better.

5. Cable: I've decided to cut my cable down to the very basic channels (eventually when I move, I may just use over the air antenna stations, which come in HD anyway... I just don't get enough stations right now). This is a change of lifestyle, really. I won't have nearly as many shows to watch around the time they are first run, so that means more time for all the other stuff I just listed and oh yeah writing. Downside: I have to wait for "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" and my new favorite show, "The Walking Dead." Upside: I'm saving $40 a month and not wasting money on television that I haven't had much time to watch.

6. I've missed you.


smidge said...

Welcome back. Can I take the piss out of the Mazda or is it too soon?

At least it isnt a Toyota

Sam_I_am said...

Welcome back, slacker! :-) It's been awhile since a cosmo review. But you could lead into it with a metrosexual bit and then talk about reading cosmo and say some of the things I've learned from cosmo... or something like that.

Lizzie said...

And we've missed you! Welcome back and keep it up!

spleeness said...

Missed you too. :)

Have you seen Adam Carolla's new book? He mentions his start in Improv comedy. It sounded horrible and he's incredible. If you're doing that awesome this early, your big break is sure to come. Way to go! Ima check out your fb page now.

Amy xxoo said...

Aww, i missed you too Andy. Just dont go M.I.A on us again, alright?
Also, if your having all those murdering baby related thoughts, just dont get any ideas about murdering my little dude, ok?

Muffy Willowbrook said...

No Cable? Oy vey...how are you going to keep up with Amber's domestic abuse charges?

Andy said...

Smidge- What in God's name does that mean?
Sam- Yeah, I think that could work... and I did stop doing reviews for a bit because Cosmo is the same thing so often, it's hard to come up with new ways to make fun of it!
Lizzie- Thanks :)
Spleen- Most improv groups, from what I've heard, have a really rough time at the beginning. We've been very lucky (and we're also very prepared, which helps).
Amy- Your baby is too cute to murder.
Muffy- Sweet Jesus what is wrong with those teen moms...

BeckEye said...

I thought this all sounded great until I got to the part about you cutting back on your cable. THE HORROR!!!

Diane said...

1. I haven't been writing either. You just made me feel better.

2. I have a Mazda 3, too. It's a very cool car. 'Til you have to buy tires. Those suckers are expensive. Just a warning.

3. You're funny.

4. I've missed you, too!

RedBalloonGirl said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Andy said...

BeckEye- Yeah, crazy right? From the guy who mostly talks about TV on his blog. But I haven't enjoyed Bravo shows as much lately, and I've got so much else going on it's silly to spend that much when I could just be patient and wait for it to come out on Netflix or something. I'm mad I'll miss Tabitha's hair cutting show, though.
Diane- I'll keep the tire thing in mind. I've missed you too.
RBG- Missed you too. A lot.

P said...

Aw, thanks, I've missed you too!!! ;) Hehe.

The guys on my team at work are obsessed with "The Walking Dead" already by the way. They have been watching it online so maybe they're even ahead of you on it. Just saying. . .

kisatrtle said...

Busy. You have been, indeed. That was my best Yoda impression. Glad to have you back.

Jenners said...

I was wondering if you were every going to come back ... or I was just going to see you pop up as a "the newest SNL player" one day.

I moved my blog at one point ... don't know if you knew that or not. I'm at http://lifewithbooks.com now.

And what an oversharer that car salesman is! YIKES.

Loving your improv group. Someday I hope to see it in person. Keep up the good work.

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