Sunday, October 19, 2008

To discuss making Capricorn uber-legal to date

I haven't mentioned the lovely Capricorn much lately, but that's because I'm trying to avoid being one of "those" guys. Quick note: Capricorn is not her real name- I have disappointed several people so far by telling them this fact about my girlfriend.

But I did think you'd all enjoy this photo montage, chronicling a morning of shenanigans at the Motor Vehicle Administration in Maryland (or, what we in PA call the DMV), plus a trip to Target.
It also lets me do this in advance, since I'm still in St. Louis listening to "Country Grammar." Shimmy shimmy cocoa what to you, Nelly.... So this is a way to keep the posts coming...

Capricorn has had a problem for months trying to get the Social Security Administration to get her birth year correct, so that her driver's license doesn't list her as three years younger than she actually is...Earlier last week, they finally corrected it, which means she could get her license corrected and stop posing as an 18-year-old.

We started the day at 9 a.m. at the MVA. Capricorn dressed up for the occasion, which we dubbed the second 21st birthday of the year for her- on her first 21st birthday, she couldn't go out to bars because her ID was wrong. No, there will be no tales of drinking for this 21st birthday-- as if you don't have enough drinking stories on your own-- but nevertheless, she was very excited.... We get in line, which, when dealing with a government office, could mean the end of your life...And then Cuts McCutteron, pictured above, decides to just waltz by everyone and move to the front, showing little remorse. I could only hope they revoked his license for being old.

Next, Capricorn had to talk to the MVA official, as I waited in the nearby seating area. It was fairly empty, as far as MVAs go, but there were still some gems: A boy, I'd say about 13-years-old, taking his learner's permit test...An elderly woman, I'd say 246-years-old, renewing her license, which when she first got it was called a "Stagecoach Permit"... And, as Capricorn signed paperwork, pictured below, I listened to the woman in the next cubicle do a horrific job on her vision test. How do I know this? Because the MVA official had a look of disgust and horror on her face as the woman spouted off letters and symbols like a dyslexic illiterate (I did have something else inserted here, but my Australian readers said I likely have offended an entire nation- so I apologize).... Oh, and she got her license, too. Excellent.
Capricorn was the most excited I've ever seen her when she finally got her corrected license, which will now allow her to get into bars (even though she's not a big drinker) and will let her boyfriend feel more comfortable that he's not dating a teenager. He thinks.

Next, we took a trip to Target. Because, hey, it's Target... It also led to this:

Our children will be beautiful.

Not to be outdone, Target holiday-ed the crap out of their store, putting scores of Halloween decorations out, right next to this:

Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a Happy Thanksgiving.


gracie-mel said...

well, it is one big happy holiday season, you know. stretching from Halloween ->New Years. Why bother differentiating? Just spend, spend, spend!!
and as a Maryland resident myself, I am right now giving Capricorn a big hug, as I know how crazy the MVA is!

Amy xxoo said...

Man, I loved the whole Halloween thing when i lived in the US! The only thing i get to celebrate now on October 31st is my brothers birthday....

P.S You're lucky if no native Australians read your blog because, where I come from, that whole " dyslexic Aborigine " thing could be considered very offensive...

SaVanna said...

Happy 2nd 21st Birthday!! Gotta love [[I mean hate]] Cuts McCutterton...if he can't be intuned enough to know that he's cutting in line...should be driving? Then again...should the Dyslexic Aborigine be driving either? Sigh...welcome to America! ;)

bex said...

You never mentioned Capricorn has a tattoo. A tattoo or a really funny shaped birthmark.

~Sheila~ said...

Yeah. May I be so bold as to suggest that you guys NOT mate while wearing those masks!

It had to have sucked not to have the right birthdate on her license. I just went this past friday to get mine renewed too.

Also, I'll have you know I watched that live finale of Making the Band (part 2) and that chick didn't look anything like when she started.
Tha HO!

SouthernBelle said...

Um, actually I am Aussie & my husband is an indigenous Australian (or Aborigine), so yeah, that was pretty offensive.

But is there *anyone* that would not find it offensive to be linked with illiteracy as a racist generalization?

Miss Tiff said...

Trips to the DMV are always fun.. Hope you had a great time in St. Louis (even if it was for work).

Btw, you've been tagged on my blog.

Andy said...

Gracie-- I say we start the craziness on Independence Day
Amy- Problem corrected. Even WildARS is an idiot sometimes
Savanna- I don't think he should be driving, either
Bex- Consider yourself notified
Sheila- I can't wait for the next season. Who knows what will happen
Belle- This is one of the few times in which I truly was offensive, so I corrected it. Thanks for the heads-up, and I'm sorry and, uh, you're pretty?
MT- Hope you had fun on your weekend outing, too

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