Two people told Capricorn that yesterday. Miraculously, she didn't immediately punch them in the face, as she is prone to do in her Family Guy-esque dream sequences of such instances.
Capricorn isn't alone in being annoyed when someone says, "Hey there, sad looking lady, you look tired, what's wrong with your freaking face?" (paraphrased)
So I think it's an appropriate moment to consider other annoying comments made by people who have no business saying such things:
- "You're not looking great. Are you sick?" Yes, yes, I am, and now I'm going to purposefully throw up in your purse like it's made of porcelain.
- (To a woman, or this guy) "When are you due?" If by due, you mean I ate that new Taco Bell enchilada feast, then I'd say last night for Fourth Meal. No, I'm not due you idiot. I'm holding water weight.
- (After you've cheated on by a significant other) "How's your boyfriend/girlfriend doing?" How are they doing? Oh they are &$*#@@$ GRAND! They are up to their elbows in WHORE CROTCH! GOD IN ALL HIS WISDOM PAIRED ME WITH A SLUT BANGER! THANKS FOR REMINDING ME! Where's the Tylenol?
- (While you're holding food) "So, what do you have to eat there?" What does it look like? It's a sandwich. Is that blowing your mind? Can you believe that two pieces of bread, some turkey and mayonnaise is considered a meal? Because that's what's going on.
- "Are you in a bad mood?" Well, I wasn't until you asked that. Now, I'm considering taking down a plane* with all my loved ones inside. I appreciate you pushing me over the proverbial edge.
Tomorrow, for my birthday, I'll have a special guest post by Southern Belle, so check, check, check, check it out. Update: Also, for those interested in a new TV Play by Play, I wrote about Rock of Love Bus (trainwreck!) here.