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Monday, May 18, 2009

To discuss an electronic obit

Computer, Andy's laptop, died on Sunday due to complications with a virus. It was 4 years old.
Computer, who was called "HP" by his friends and "What Macs Pee On" by his enemies, had lived a good life until Sunday afternoon, when its owner tried to download pornography a game no, it wasn't porn that he was too cheap to buy. The computer's owner has asked not to reveal the game due to the sensitivity of the event.*

Despite epic effort by its owner and its owner's hot girlfriend, Computer could not be saved, fighting against the epic virus until only its Welcome screen would appear, the "Welcome" phrase now just a cruel irony for Computer's final goodbye. The exact nature of the virus was not clear, although Computer is blaming it on Al Jazeera or possibly Gary Coleman.

Computer will live on in spirit, though, as System Recovery cleaned out the hard drive and gave Computer a second chance, like a friend who comes back from a coma but has amnesia.

Computer's owner said he was pleased he had coincidentally recently backed up several files, including lots of photos. But he can't help but think there are pieces that will be lost forever-- including many blog-related items. Now, he is now up against the task of finding files, re-downloading programs and finding all the sweet Natalie Portman photos he had.

Andy's computer will not be buried or cremated, although he did consider drop kicking it once during the final few hours. In lieu of flowers, please leave your comments about your own losses with computers.

* It was Rollercoaster Tycoon. I was trying to get my coaster on like it's 1999, just about the last time I played it. There's a reason I wanted to build an amusement park. See the next post, a late Weekend Update, for details, which will include a photo worth seeing.

19 comments:

LBluca77 said...

My laptop died a few weeks back. I had gotten it fixed about 6 months ago and i could probably have gotten it fixed again but it was old and I would have ended up spending as much on it to get fixed as I would to buy a new one.

Sucks cause I do have a lot of pics, old college papers and so much more. At least I have myspace/facebook to recover some old photos but it really does suck.

Sorry friend about your laptop.

FunnyGal KAT said...

I have been involved in a life-and-death struggle with my freakin' Dell desktop (to the point where I have to include "freakin'" whenever I say "Dell") And the desktop is winning.

It hasn't died (yet), but my freakin' Dell is slowly shedding functions in an effort to drive me insane. I have a Mac for work and don't think I will ever go back to P.C.s

Good for you for backing up your files (I've always heard it recommended, but never actually done it...)

Herding Cats said...

My laptop is in a coma. I revive it now and then, but I found a new love this past weekend. My MacBook is shiny, pretty, and promises not to fail for four years. Sigh, I do miss the old one though...

kisatrtle said...

Man, that really sucks. Mine's been running like a turtle and though that is my favorite animal their perpensity for laziness is not their most endearing quality. Hence, my husband "cleaned" my computer and now I feel like I'm using a Comadore 64, but seeing how young you are, you've probably only seen pictures of those. Recently, I wiped out a memory card that held dear pictures of my beach weekend and had to pay for software to recover those. It's not on the same level of your annoyance, but still it was annoying. Are you gonna get a Mac?

amindinmotown said...

Bummer. And every time I read something like this, I think to myself, "Self, you should back your shit up." Then I don't.

In a few months, I might be bawling in an attempt to blog about my own loss. I mean, let's hope not, but it's possible.

Children of the Nineties said...

The death of a computer is much more tragic than people give it credit for. I had a Dell desktop with some sort of motherboard malfunction and it literally drove me to tears to think that I would never see my SIM family again.

I still never back up, though. Pure laziness. I am sort of partial to writing blog posts in google docs, though, because it's an adequate lazy person's backup solution.

Dani said...

We have a Mac now and I feel as though all those business classes I took and graduated in are for not since I learned all about the Windows programs... It stinks because, although they are much different and require getting used to, Macs are so much better but SO many programs are not compatible to them! Those software companies should GET ON IT and make them compatible already!

Soda and Candy said...

My old Mac's processor died unrecoverably during my second year in college, which is why I never really learned web design.

It's actually far more devastating to lose a Mac because you can usually fix a PC, whereas when Macs die, they're gone forever. Also, they're prettier.

Jennifer said...

I avoid having a computer meltdown by simply owning a MAC!!!!!!!! No melt downs here!

Kellie said...

That totally blows. My hubs college computer took a poo on us in Feb. It was old so we were kind of expecting it, but there are still photos and stuff we lost. Damn it. I hate backing everything up. It's such a pain.

Amy xxoo said...

Rest in peace Computer.

I too own a HP ( a mini notebook ) and i've had nothing but trouble since i bought the damn thing. That being said, i think mine might dieat its owners hands rather than of its own willing....

Heather said...

Oh Andy, I'm so sorry for your loss. I know it must have been heartbreaking to lose all of those Natalie Portman photos. Here's hoping you recover them quickly.

On a totally unrelated note, I had a strange dream that you were involved in a gang shooting because of an inappropriate neck tattoo. So yeah... be careful if you ever decide to get tatted up. And I'll stop doing drugs before bed.

Jenners said...

Oh My God! Rollercoaster Tycoon!! My husband and I played that obsessively about 7 years ago -- like every night for 5 to 6 hours. Building those little coasters, building ( and cleaning) the theme parks. Trying to build stuff out of cliffs. It was so addictive and then one day ... BOOM. We looked at each other and said "I'm done with that." It was a good ride (hee hee) while it lasted.

I hope you have come to your senses and get a Mac. Once my stupid PC laptop blows, I'm moving on over to the Land Where Computers Are Your Friends.

Racquel Valencia said...

Everytime something mechanical dies I get this urge to go all Office Space on its ass, even if I had absolutely no problem with it to begin with.

*~Dani~* said...

I agree with Soda and Candy. Much more devastating with a Mac. I have had great luck with them, but last year my Mac decided to die a hellish death right after the warranty expired. B thinks it was Diner Dash.I think it was just bad luck. Now I am a backup fiend!!

Sam_I_am said...

Dude, I have Roller Coaster Tycoon. I don't know if it requires the CD to run or not. I'll check, if it doesn't, you can legally install it on your comp.

hautepocket said...

Need I remind you of porngate 2008 and the time my computer contracted HPV from the internet? And died?

~Sheila~ said...

Sorry about your computer.

My computer didn't die so much as get stolen. That's bad too. No amnesia, dementia or alzheimers. Just full memory...gone...in another's hands.

There was a candlelight vigil.
And a ransom.

kk said...

I'm so sorry to hear (I'm totally behind on blog reading).

My laptop died in the fall...i lost my novel...and had zero backup. lost all 150 pages.

bright side: a new beginning!

(right? right??)

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