Wednesday, August 12, 2009

To discuss NYC Prep needs a swift kick in the jailbait crotch

Dear cast of NYC Prep:

I am concerned for all of you.*

I've given you the benefit of the doubt longer than Jen Aniston gave Brad during the "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" filming. I've assumed you'll mature over the course of the season.

I feel bad saying this to a bunch of teenagers,** but you're the most shallow, egotistical, self-indulgent, unaware, naive, manipulative, vain, fake, delusional whoremongers this side of Paris Hilton's BFFs.

A sample:

Taylor is stringing along Cole and Sebastian and, like, having trouble handling two boys!
PC totally wants out of the drama of prep school, because he is soooo over it! Oh, and he's not sure if he likes boys!
Sebastian is getting tired of hooking up with hot girls!
Camille is having such a hard time finding a good guy to date!
Jessie has crazy eyes!***
Kelli always has boys chasing after her, but she's not into them!


Oh, did I forget to mention they are all filthy rich?

All of this, in and of itself, is not the issue- hey, that's just teenage versions of the Real World, which is the young adult version of Real Housewives.

The issue is I'm a little concerned kids these days**** don't have the quality youth-focused shows at their disposal that I did. Are they watching NYC Prep in the same admirable light we watched Fresh Prince? Is this kind of show going to be the one, a decade from now, some trite blogger will reference repeatedly on his blog because he's nostalgic and uncreative and his name is Andy?
  • I had Real World and Road Rules, kids now have Bromance and a vodka-ed down version of Real World.
  • I had Saved by the Bell, you've got High School Musical, which can't hold a candle to a Screech/Lisa dance-off.
  • I had Step-by-Step and Seventh Heaven, you have One Tree Hill and Gossip Girl.
  • I had Full House, you've got Jon & Kate Plus 8.
  • I had Star Search, you have American Idol. OK, that one's better, but there's no Ed McMahon!*****
And I can't even figure out the equivalent for NYC Prep, perhaps because there was no similarly vapid black hole in the 90s. Was there?

Please respond, NYC Prep, and let me know what you think you offer to the adolescent pop culture scene. You just had your season finale (OMG! Camille and Jessie got in fight! Dramz!)

Yours truly,
Wild ARS Chase

* Especially that Cole kid. His insecurity issues have insecurity issues.
** I felt bad for a solid two seconds. That's long enough, in my book.
*** Unrelated. Just wanted to note.
**** Oh crap! I just said that!
***** That's because he's dead. RIP.


FunnyGal KAT said...

My head hurts just *reading* about this show, let alone actually watching it. It's official-- I'm too old for MTV.

Sarah said...

i can't watch this show at all. i turned it on last night and as soon as one of the kids started talking i had to turn it off.

Amy xxoo said...

Ok, i've never seen this show ( i dont even think its on Oz MTV yet ) but i totally understand what your getting at.

Maybe thats the answer to my post regarding kids these days - they have no quality tv role models. All our shows had their drama but, in the end, there was always a feel good, everything will work out ok in the end if you have good morals ending.

Not so much on the shows you mentioned. Seems like good morals and hard work have lost out to backstabbing and power-bitching.

Oh, also - i just realised i sound like i'm about 77 yrs old.

Doniree said...

I need to watch more TV.

Herding Cats said...

I'm glad you posted about this show. It's such a trainwreck of a show..I can't STOP watching! And all I do is hate, hate, hate! I can't stand ANY of them - especially PC. As a high school teacher, I kind of want to smack him for being such a pretentious bitch (sorry, I cursed - it's true though!)

*~Dani~* said...

That is the most footnotes I have ever seen in a post. And I thought I was bad about that.

Unrelated, but kind of related, B and I watched American Teen today (his rental). It was a lot like this show except the kids were from some small town in the middle of no where. And it was just a normal high school. Same drama though. I spent the entire time drifting between laughing hysterically and screaming at the TV.

Good times.

Erin said...

I want to sucker punch all of those kids. Seriously.

LiLu said...

Do not admit you love that show. Do not admit you love that show.

Anonymous said...

It is wrong to stab kids, it is wrong to stab kids, it is wrong to stab kids. Rinse. Repeat.

My word verification is 'fineho.' How...fitting.

Zan said...

99.9% of the crap on TV is just that...crap. I miss the good ole' days of TV. I really do.

Jenners said...

We watched exactly one episode and had to stop ... they were that annoying and shallow. And that Shaun Cassidy looking guy (Sebastian?) His constant hair flipping just drove me insane! I hope the kids of today choose to mock these kids and not emulate them.

Andy said...

KAT- I think I'm too old for it, too, but I have a tough time letting go.
Sarah- It's hard to listen to them without getting a migraine.
Amy- I think you're right- this post kind of answers your question.
Doniree- No, no you don't.
Herding- Capricorn loves this show, but I watch it more as a trainwreck.
Dani- I love a good footnote, what can I say? Too many English classes in high school with too many term papers.
Erin- Please take a photo of that and send it to me.
LiLu- Too late.
Haute- You can stab them if it's in self defense, and I feel they are attacking my ears. Oh, and you're one fineho yourself.
Zan- That's the issue- A decade from now, kids today will say, I miss the good ole' days of TV, and they will mean the crap that's on now!
Jenners- Why not cut your hair, Sebastian? You won't have to push it off your eyes like girl.

Anonymous said...

I haven't actually even heard of this show, but your post makes me far less inclined to tuning in. Don't tell the folks at Bravo though. They might hunt you down.

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