To discuss a Weekend Update: Civil War, Zombies and Homecoming

I would like to note I am writing this post while eating a Little Debbies snack cake. Long-time readers will appreciate that mention.

Anyway, here's a late Weekend Update, detailing a trip Capricorn and I took to Gettysburg and our other weekend activities.

The photo to the right was taken on top of Little Round Top. If you look close enough, you can see Rebel Flags being waved by Southerners hoping there's still a chance the Confederates can still make a big comeback and validate the flag on the back of their pick-up.* (* You looked, didn't you? Bet you're from the South.)
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• When the Union soldiers dug in on Cemetery Hill to fend off the Confederate advance, I wonder if they realized they were helping protect the land for future generations, so we could put a Shell gas station nearby.


• Capricorn, a South Carolina native, was more than slightly disappointed there weren't any major Confederate statues. I told her that's what happens when you lose. She did enjoy, however, discovering this random Native American statue amid all the Union soldier statues... Or, as she shouted out the window, "Injuns!"

• I never realized Colonel Sanders fought at Gettysburg. Luckily, this KFC has been erected to commemorate the now infamous Battle of Little Chicken Wing.

• What's the Over/under per year on drunk Gettysburg College students taking photos of a cannon in front of their crotch/having sex on the battlefield/reenacting battle scenes using Nerf guns? 25? 50? 1,000?
• It's a strange feeling to know you are standing on land that generations ago was the site of massive casualties and horror. The closest thing my generation can relate to is watching massive career casualties and horror on the Real World/Road Rules challenges.
  
• After our brief tour, we stopped at a TGIF for dinner. And by stopped, I mean "was told there was an hour-long wait so we went to Ruby Tuesday's." Is there a reason those types of restaurants aren't just made bigger, or is there a psychological advantage to make dozens of people sit outside listening to light rock for 45 minutes before they can eat? Does Michael McDonald help the steak taste better?
  
• It was high school homecoming time in Gettysburg, we think. Four out of five slightly slutty dresses indicated so. It made me wax nostalgic about my high school homecomings, all the nervousness about asking a girl to the dance, getting the corsage, stealing my dad's tie, pretending I had any clue how to dance. There's nothing like high school to make you feel like you will die alone.
• Next, it was on to the movies in a building that resembled a failed beach house. We saw "Zombieland." I highly recommend it, based on three things:

1. It nicely combined zombie gore with developing the human element to the story. I'm a zombie movie lover--"28 Days Later" and "Night of the Living Dead"-- so I know my zombies.
   
2. Woody Harrelson says funny things like "God bless rednecks."
3. They play a Ghostbusters clip.

• Capricorn told me to stop jumping at scary parts. So, evidently, out of the two of us, I'm the one who needs coddled and told everything is going to be OK.
  
• To accomplish this night out on the town, we had to drop off our chihuahuas at her parents' house. As her dad later put it, we basically dropped off the grandkids. This must be how it starts. I bet you Jon and Kate started with chihuahuas and then went on to children and then went on to... Capricorn, we can't drop off the chihuahuas anymore!
  
• On Sunday, her family and I went bowling. If you ever want to see a failing business model, check out a bowling center that hasn't been built and/or renovated recently. It'll remind you of the days of Trapper Keepers, Nancy Drew and slap bracelets. We all love those things, but not enough to use them anymore (Though I'd love to find a reason to use a Trapper Keeper). Same with older bowling centers-- the graphic for someone getting a strike shouldn't remind me of clip art from an Apple IIE. And the interface for the bowling scorecard shouldn't resemble the pixelated quality of Oregon Trail. If bowling centers were a cell phone, they'd be Zack Morris'. At least some new ones get it-- the one I usually use plays music videos on drop-down screens, so I can listen to Miley Cyrus and get out the ensuing anger out all at once.
  
• I wanted to write this post Sunday night at halftime of the football game, as the Pittsburgh Steelers were up 28-0 and cruising to victory. But they decided to start their now-regular second-half sucking, and like a train wreck or Heidi Montag, I couldn't look away. At least they won. It makes it easier to swallow the fact on the same day, the Pirates finished their season with 99 losses.
• Insert "easier to swallow" joke here, LBluca and Haute Pocket.