To discuss a DirecT(v) Swing and a Miss

The mint mask-covered face sums up several things:
1) I was surprised by what happened to me Sunday
2) I had time to do a facial, when I thought I would be busy with TV stuff
3) I'm losing my heterosexual credibility, but I swear, it was just one time because I was bored.

Last week, we all talked about whether I should dump my Comcast cable TV service, and get DirecTV, which would save me some money, get me HD, and screw over the evil cable company, but would also be a hassle and lock me into a two-year contract.

I weighed the pros and cons you all laid out. I did hours of my own research -- and I mean hours, too. I get hardcore into researching and debating major decisions, not unlike a psychotic person.

I decided to switch to DirecTV.

It almost didn't happen. Saturday night, I found out I had a 1-year contract with my Tivo DVR service, even though I was paying month-to-month after a previous contract ran out. That was going to make things more complicated, since I was getting a free HD DVR from DirecTV, but, sure, what the heck, let's stick with the plan.

Here's what happened Sunday:

7:55 A.M. DirecTV Dude calls to say he's almost there. I'm half-asleep and amazed that the 8 a.m.-12 p.m. window actually included arriving around 8, not the 3 p.m. you come to expect.
8:05 a.m. DirecTV Dude walks through my apartment to the back porch area, where, by my rental agreement, the dish needs to go.
8:05:30 a.m. Seconds later, after pointing his doo-hicky, he says there is no line of sight to the Southern sky or the Goddess of Rain or some business. The guy living on the second floor above me has DirecTV, but his dish points over the roof. Mine could only point at the building, basically. And with limited options allowed by my rental company, there was no other place to put the dish.
8:06 a.m. DirecTV Dude says, "So, I guess you're staying with cable."
8:07 a.m. I close the door on the dude, and look over to my right. That's where there is a mess of wires and a gaping hole where my Tivo and cable box were Saturday night, until I spent 20 minutes unhooking everything.
8:10 a.m. Call Capricorn. She later tells me she felt terrible for me because I sounded like someone kicked my puppy. My high-definition puppy.
10:30 a.m. Go to Best Buy just to look at the HDTVs they have hooked up. Consider stabbing a TV with a knife. Think better of it. Stab an employee in the face instead. Geek Squad scurries to stop the bleeding.
11:00 a.m. Spend the next couple of hours putting back together everything I had taken apart in two rooms. Considering I'm a bit of an A/V guy and I have a Tivo, audio/video receiver, the cable box and a bunch of speakers, there are more wires than in Lady Gaga's red carpet Grammy dress.
2 p.m. Exfoliated
3 p.m. Fortunately, I hadn't canceled Comcast just yet. I call them and say I'm, uh, having DirecTV come over later this week and this is their last chance to keep me (essentially, Comcast had become my back-up prom date). They respond by giving me 80 extra channels and faster Internet for the next 6 months for about $30 a month less than what I already pay for a lower package. After that, I can just go back to the lower package to avoid a major rate increase.

So after all of that, I'm back with cable. All considering, I still saved money, and better appreciated what I already have. I just feel bad about the guy I stabbed.
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Heads up for later this week: I've got a few guest posters lined up to help celebrate my birthday, which is on Saturday, although it is celebrated as a federal holiday on the following Monday (schools and post offices will be closed). I think you'll love what they've written. There's not a Jersey Shore reference or a terrible Anne Frank joke in them, so we're already doing better than most of my stuff.

One other thing: I'm trying to be better about responding to comments by e-mail, so if you want to hear back from me, include your e-mail address when you comment.

Otherwise, to track you down I have to resort to climbing up the tree near your window and watching you get ready in the morning. Oh, and don't wear that striped shirt. No, the one in your left hand.