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Tuesday, May 11, 2010

To discuss being mistaken for a Will instead of a Grace

A gay guy I recently just met through theater pulled me aside recently.

"So, I'm usually good at these things, but ..." he said.

I knew exactly where this is going. I've seen enough Jennifer Lopez movies ... which, come to think of it, might be the reason for this:

"Which way do you go?" he asked as diplomatically as possible.

"Yeah, I like women," I replied, unfazed.

"OK, that's cool, it's just you always dress nice and have your hair done all nice and everything," he said.

After I told him he's not the first theater guy to ask me that - it is theater, after all - I again told him I'm a fan of boobs and whatnot; I did appreciate the compliments, though.

Vanity Fair June 2010 cover Cristiano Ronaldo soccer shirtless
As I got in my car and the interior light turned on, he noticed the magazine I had just got in the mail that afternoon, laying on the passenger seat.

No, it wasn't Maxim. Or even Esquire. Either would have helped me out. It was Vanity Fair, which this month features a cover with two soccer guys in nothing but underwear.

"Yeah, that's not helping my case, is it?" I said.

Later, when I told Capricorn about it, she laughed and said there are several things not helping my case. To name a few:

* I do musical theater
* I color coordinate
* I read Cosmopolitan
* I watch Bravo reality shows
* I have a special place in my heart for the remake of "A Little Princess."
* I use the phrase "special place in my heart."
* I like to sing along to "Chicago" showtunes.

However, I do not like penises, and that's a requisite.

I do wonder, blog readers, if you've ever mistaken someone for the wrong sexual preference. And better yet, have you ever asked them? Or just found out eventually?

15 comments:

Smidge said...

People always tend to think I'm gay too and I often get chatted up by girls. This is mainly because I'm a tomboy, like football, read sci fi and I'm not hugh maintenance!

I think it's hard to guess someones sexuality these days as it's more accepted to be open about liking things that would once have been considered to be gay!

FunnyGal KAT said...

I heard through the grapevine that a lesbian coworker thought I was cute, but I'm not sure she thought I was a lesbian or was just hoping I was. I definitely think it's more common for guys because I have a bunch of friends who have either been asked about or asked out.

And no, that magazine cover didn't help your cause in the least.

L.C.T. said...

I must admit, I did wonder about you when I first started reading your blog...! Can't remember why now though.

P said...

I don't think I've ever been mistaken for being gay, but I thought several guys were gay. Some of whom turned out to NOT be gay and actually LIKED ME. Ooops.

And yes, I've asked them if they were gay,

Kellie said...

I don't think I've ever been wrong before but my gaydar is pretty efficient.

I have been hit on by lesbians before and I always find it flattering even though my requisite is definitely having a penis. :)

kk said...

i have not made this mistake publicly, however, this is one of my FAVORITE guessing games to play.

Soda and Candy said...

I actually have pretty good gaydar, with the notable exception of a very close relative, but in my defense I don't think she even knew all that long before she came out.

I once asked my high school boyfriend "Is Friend X gay?" and he was all, "No, he definitely isn't, he says so." and then two months later Friend X came out.

And then a male friend of mine in art college was talking about a "person" he had a crush on and I was all matter-of-fact "who is he" and my friend was like "Am I that obvious?" (Hint: he was).

Although I did think a coworker of mine was gay when I first met him, but he's just Southern.

chevelin said...

So I'm a gay dude and used to be incredible at picking (and bringing) them out. Until one drunken night I made a pass on a very homophobic European (I know, oxymoron, right?). Ever since, I haven't been able to trust my instincts.

spleeness said...

I don't have gaydar, I can't tell that easily. But I have been hit on by some women who liked me, and always consider it a compliment.

Hilarious about the magazine!

Andy said...

Smidge- Very true. It's perfectly cool for a guy to get a mani-pedi and watch Sex and the City now, and still like chicks. I think.
KAT- If only I had the Maxim in there.
LCT - *Cough*Top Model recaps and Cosmo reviews *Cough*
P - Yeah, your gaydar is broken.
Kellie- I think you were just being stubborn about your "rule."
KK - How many guessing games do you play, woman?
Soda- "He's just Southern." hahahaha
Chevelin- It'll come back to you.
Spleeness - Yeah, it is hilarious. It really is.

Jenners said...

I've not so much been mistaken for a lesbian as I've been mistaken for a man!!! (True ... I wish it wasn't but it is.)

Herding Cats said...

Although his case is strong, I think that most guys that are comfortable with their masculinity will admit to a few feminine traits. My boyfriend watches The Hills with me and cries during sad movies. He's very straight, but I appreciate these traits!

Sam_I_am said...

I also have pretty good "gaydar" Thanks to Facebook, I'm now learning more and more about people's sexual preferences and most of them are "yeah, tell me something I didn't know." I'm with KAT though, because lesbians are a little harder to identify. Again, thanks to Facebook, I learned a college classmate was a lesbian and I had to check it twice to be sure I wasn't mistaken. Never saw it coming.

kisatrtle said...

I've been wrong a time or two but I've never come right out and asked. I guess I'd have to be really sure to do that.

You handled it well.

nowimagrownup said...

I think I told you once that you were like the gay friend I always wanted...except you like girls. Which is cool, I suppose. Whatever works for you :)

And there is a guy I've recently met that I cannot figure out. The clothes, nice hair, body language and, um, speech patterns? have me thinking that he's gay - but if he is, he's definitely not open about it. My friends wonder amongst ourselves all the time, but I don't think anyone has flatout asked him.

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