To discuss an identity theft update

For background on my identity theft situation, check out this post.

Here's the fun-filled update on the identity theft:

You know what's a good time? Getting called by a collection agency. Evidently, my having talked with the credit card company and requesting a fraud investigation didn't prevent them from sending it on to a collection agency.

I hate how those agencies have tunnel vision about what they do. All they want is to get your money. I told them I didn't make that purchase. The lady said, "That's fine, but I'll need $15 to get you out of our agency before I can forward you to another department."

I have to pay $15 on a stolen account just so I can tell someone it's stolen? That's like sleeping with a girl just to prove to her that you don't have syphilis.

Eventually, after yelling at her (yelling! AND I'M NOT A YELLER!) that her request is both ridiculous and illogical, she got her supervisor on the phone. Funny enough, the supervisor apologized for both having called me to collect on a fraudulent account, and for asking for money. He quickly gave me the fraud investigation department number, and said his agency wouldn't be calling anymore.*

* Except they did, once more, later last night. And then the lady realized there was a note on the account to not call me.

Eventually I talked to a fraud investigator. She asked me if I had any idea how someone got my personal information.

"Do you have an ex-girlfriend who might have done it?" she asked bluntly. That must happen all the time. I was pleased she assumed I was straight, at least, and capable of having a girlfriend.

"I have lots of ex-girlfriends, but none of them are seeking vengeance that I'm aware of. Plus, they really aren't big on watches," I responded.

So she finally got the investigation officially started (the one that was promised to me last week).

And, for the icing on the stolen cake, I also got a copy of all the credit card bill for this account. My thief must be a romantic at heart. He (or she) bought the watch at the Florida department store on Feb. 11.

That must have been a really romantic night. "Ah, babe, thanks for the watch, but why does the engraving have a social security number on it?" "Shh, babe, you ask to many questions."