There are several words and ideas that I think should come back into vogue... actually, I think En Vogue should come back in vogue. They were good.Other possibilities that I would like you to work into your everyday vernacular and activities:
- "Sire" and "beget": I'm tired of rappers saying they make the magic happen in the bedroom. What if Ludacris said, "I want to, sire sire sire from your head to your toes." That has a more royal feeling to it. And beget? If it's good enough for the Old Testament, it's good enough for me. More begetting should happen-- just remember to practice safe begetting. If you forget to safely beget, you'll regret the wrecked beget.
- Town criers: Although this position would technically require the end of my employment as a newsperson, wouldn't it be amazing to get your news from some dude reading off a scroll on Main Street? Especially if it's gossip news: "Hear ye, hear ye. The royal family has decreed that Amy Winehouse has once again been caught smoking crack."
- Being known by who your dad is: I'd be Andrew, son of William. Doesn't that just sound more impressive? It used to be that all guys were known by their fathers, out of respect. Now guys are known by their jobs, or, more accurately, by their Facebook page. "Andrew, status In a Relationship."
- The military draft...just kidding.
- Fighting wars using only hand to hand combat. Enough of this nuclear weapon, machine gun, bomb stuff. The death tolls would be a lot lower if it was just straight street fighting like the old days with sabers and shields. And you know what? China would smoke us. We better get Chuck Norris enlisted. His fists are registered.
- Balls: No, not sports equipment. And not testicles either, pervert. I mean the dancing kind. Where you dress up. And the whole town is invited. And the prince needs to find the girl with the glass slipper. Who wouldn't want to attend that? You're genuinely excited at the thought, aren't you?
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