To discuss abusing punctuation and capitalization KINDA LIKE THIS!!!!!

Do you just loathe people who incorrectly and unabashedly use punctuation and capitalization!?!?!?! Not the kind who are just making a grammatical error ; a semi-colon instead of an em dash ; but those who are abusing it so as to emphasize THEIR point!!!!!!!!!!!!! And no, not the kind who are doing it just to be silly, either.

We're talking these habitual offenders:
A) The ones who would rather use excess capitalization and exclamation points than proper word choices to make a point. Most common offender: 13-year-old girls:

• OMG YOU GUYZ!!!!!!!!!! I JUST HAD THE MOST AMAZING CHICKEN SALAD SANDWICH FOR REALZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CHICKEN SALAD FOREVA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

B) The type who don't realize the caps lock key (Satan's playground) is on, even after several words. Most common offender: Asian spammers :

• HEY GREAT BLOG HAHA I HAVE A GREAT HAHA BLOG TOO CHECK IT OUT IT HAS ALL NUDE LIVE GIRLS HAHA JUST COST 99.99 A DAY YOU LIKE?!?!?! HAVE GREAT DAY
  

C) The type that uses an exclamation point at the end of every sentence when the only thing exclamatory going on is the shouting I want to do at their face. Most common offender: The bloggers who like to dramatize every little detail:

• I just had the worst day! My boss came into my office! He said how are you and I said fine! Then he left! And 30 minutes later, he went on his lunch break! And I had went on mine! And that's when I discovered they were out of chicken SALAD SANDWICHES!!!!!!!! So I had coffee and a bagel instead!
  

D) The type who would rather continually insert commas instead of just breaking up the sentence with the rather unglamorous, blue collar period. Most common offenders: People who slept through 11th grade English because they "know how to write anyway":

• I'm not sure if I'd rather be stuck on a desert island with Lady Gaga or Fergie, because Gaga would keep it fun, while Fergie would probably let me Boom Boom her Pow, but then Gaga would probably be wearing one of those crazy outfits and make me all uncomfortable looking at her, and would never stop saying poke, poke, poke, poke, poker face, poke, poke, poker face, and being all "Can't read my, can't read my, no you can't read my poker face!" and I'd be all "Now you're just talking nonsense!," and then I'd want to stab her with her pointy hat, and speaking of people I want to stab, Fergie might come in hand as a flotation device, but I worry she might get douchier than normal without her Black Eyed Peas around and start talking about her lovely lady lumps, which make them sound like mounds of fat, which I guess they are, so why do guys like boobs so much, I don't know but they sure are pretty, unless they are Heidi Montag's, which are filled with Spencer's flesh-colored beard, and those two were so bad on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, maybe I don't want a celebrity on a desert island with me, fine OK I'll talk Lacey Chabert from Mean Girls because she's underappreciated, and would like the fact that I think she's better looking than Megan Fox, but she better be able to start a fire with just two sticks, oh no, change my mind, I bet Gaga could do that because she's obviously made a deal with the devil.

Feel free to break any of these rules in the comments. It's a random punctuation abuse day.