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Monday, August 25, 2008

To discuss a rant against fake bank accounts, and other thoughts

I promised to write about fantasy football today. That's still going to happen, but not yet; I got tied up actually working for once, so that post will have to wait. Until then, some thoughts that I hope you can relate to:


Dear Woman who Sends Spam to Me About Fake Bank Accounts in Africa:
WTF.
If I'm trying to convince some schmuck to send me money so I can open a bank account for the Lord Prince of Africa Nation God Love Bible, I think I'd make sure I can, you know, spell. And write complete sentences (says the man who just wrote a fragment).
A few selections:
"I am Mrs Mary Williams from kuwait." Mary- Kuwait is capitalized. It's a country. And that's the country you choose to fake live in? Not Egypt? I'd choose Egypt.
"Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next three months due to cancer problem.Though what disturbs me most is my stroke." You've got three months to live because of "cancer problem," and you're worried about a stroke? Plus, unless your Doctor's real name is Doctor McDoctorton, don't capitalize it because it's not an official name. I don't call myself Blogger. Or Fornicator.
"I know that I am going to be in the bossom of the Lord." I know what a bosom is, but what's a bossom, Mary? Is that like man boobs? Cause the Lord doesn't have those. He only ate fish and bread, and He walked around all day. Dude is in shape.
"Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and truth." Yeah, except for that $2.5 million you say you have that doesn't exist.

  • Other thoughts: I went to a high school today. Within a span of an hour, I was mistaken for a teacher and a freshman. Not sure which disturbs me more.
  • Freshmen girls look like they are 22. Freshmen boys look like they are 11. Not sure which disturbs me more.
  • I finally saw "Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle." Much better than I thought it would be, plus Neil Patrick Harris is amazing in that. I wish he'd steal my car. Like, now.
  • The Olympics are finally over. Plus side: No more hours of trampoline footage. Down side: No more Google searches for Alicia Sacramone (final reference!) that lead people here only to be disappointed like a teenage boy who sees "nudity" under the R-rating, only to find out the nudity is of an elderly man. From here on, my blog will be a shriveled old guy. Excited?

5 comments:

hautepocket said...

In response to the comment on my blog:

"NPR wouldn't DO that."

tracie said...

Work is boring. This is funny. Work is long. This keeps me entertained for at least 5 minutes at a time. Thanks for taking the time to dissect these SPAM messages. Funny funny funny.

Miss Tiff said...

I hate spam mail. I think the being mistaken for a freshmen would disturb me more. As for the freshmen boy and girls they are both disturbing. I'm sure people will still be searching for Alicia Sacramone crotch even though the Olympics are over. So, I'm sure you will still be getting hits from that. Lol.

alexis said...

What's up with the "Read after the jump"?? Clicking again is so hard!!

Andy said...

Alexis-
Yeah, I'm trying to figure out what readers prefer. Some hate seeing long posts and would rather get snippets before deciding what to read. Others, like you, would rather have everything on one page.
Maybe I'll do a poll and see what you all prefer.

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