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Tuesday, September 23, 2008

To discuss the awesomeness that is the Autumn Equinox

Did you feel that? That sudden rush of awesomeness mixed with cool, crisp air, sweaters and the visual orgy of colors in nature?
It’s fall, kids!
The first day of fall was yesterday, according to Madame Capricorn (the new Ladyfriend; see Sunday post). She earned a bonus point for tell me that. And for you, dear friends, get ready for many random fall foliage shots from this guy...
For the longest time, I tried to pretend my favorite season wasn’t fall, because, let’s face it, it’s much safer to say summer or spring. Summer offers all the glories of sand, sports, swims, suntans, sister Susie sitting on a thistle, etc. It’s a chic pick. Nobody will think you are crazy if you choose summer, unless you live in northern Canada and they couldn’t tell summer from a hockey puck.
Spring is popular as well— it’s probably the most well known Vivaldi season, it makes hope eternal, it’s got all those flowers blooming and grass growing and blah blah. Overrated, really. It rains all spring. Don’t think it doesn’t.
Winter is usually only chosen by people in warm weather climates where they think people in Pennsylvania spend their winters frolicking in the snow building snowmen and singing Bing Crosby tunes and making snow angels. You know what happens in the winter? Lots of death. There are car wrecks everywhere from the ice, blizzards closing businesses and schools, winds blowing so hard you can’t breathe and temperatures so cold you pause to see if your breath froze in midair (well, it’s not always like that, but I need hyperbole to make this analogy work). Plus, if you choose winter, there’s some Freudian analysis of how you are engrossed with death or something like that. And that you want to have sex with your mother.
But fall, dude, is awesome, especially in Pennsylvania. Other parts of the country and world may not get the full season onslaught like we do here-- I'm aware of that. So just sit back and wonder, What if?
Here are the Top 10 reasons fall rocks my foliage socks, in random order:
  1. Fall is warm enough that you can still go outside to do stuff without layers of clothes, but cold enough that you feel comfortable under a cozy blanket.
  2. Football season, baseball playoffs and the fall television season kick off.
  3. Fall foliage never gets boring. Actually, there’s a great Family Guy episode about this. And really, what’s cooler than taking a walk with your lady/man friend as fall leaves flutter around you and crunch underneath your feet? No, really, what is cooler?
  4. Fall is so awesome, it can also be called autumn.
  5. You can finally bust out those sweaters, jeans and coats you couldn’t wear during the summer but were enticed to buy because of alluring half-off sales at the Gap.
  6. It’s the last chance to feel warmth and sunlight before months of winter crushing your soul with bleary darkness from 5 p.m. to 7 a.m.
  7. You can drink warm apple cider at a football game while wearing a scarf. It will cause you to become noticeably aroused.
  8. It gives you a quality topic of conversation when stuck in a room with a stranger. “Hey, how about those leaves?”
  9. You can stop worrying about how you look in a swimsuit/without a shirt on, unless you’re a porn star, and then you’ve got other problems, don’t you?
  10. Because of this joke: Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the leaves off every tree in existence.

11 comments:

ANG* said...

all of this is true. fall is amazing. buttttttttt it means winter is waaay too close for comfort. and generally chicago goes from 85* and humid to 45* and bone-chilling. maybe we'll actually get more of this incredible season this year? if not, i want summer back. can you work that out for me? thanks friend.

Miss Tiff said...

I love Fall. It's my favorite time of the year. It's pretty awesome here in Indiana too. There's always all kinds of Fall festivals and things where you can get out with friends. Plus, there's football which of course is great.

SouthernBelle said...

Fall is a good season for mini-skirts & knee-high boots...
*sobs over recently deceased boots*

You're spot on about the winter thing. I always hated winter in Sydney because it's bitterly cold, windy & rainy but no snow. I totally envisioned North American winters with the snow angels etc, but it's just pretty much freezing cold for a couple months here in Savannah, GA.

Personally I'm a summer-heat kinda girl, but at least fall will mean the outside temperature is closer to the chilly A/C in my office.

hautepocket said...

Q: What's better than Fall?

A: Knowing I won't suffer through a winter of sub-zero temperatures when it's over.

*Love* fall, it's easily my favorite season.

sj said...

i'm right there with you... i live in connecticut, so i can fully appreciate foliage in all it's loveliness.

and i love the clothes of fall. the sweater tights that i can still wear and not feel like i'm 10, the boots (i hear you, sb), the plaidness of it all?

the hot cocoa, the hot cider, the haunted houses, the corn mazes, the apple picking. ah. splended.

Teej said...

I love fall bc it means I can bake pies and chili and other lovely comfort foods. Better yet, I can eat them without feeling guilty! I just wish Texas got to experience the whole leaves changing colors thing...sigh.

Diane said...

I live at the foot of the Skyline Drive and it's gorgeous here in the fall... my favorite season, too. But I have to know, is it the cider, the football game, or the scarf that gets you aroused? Or the combination of all 3? Just curious ;)

Amy xxoo said...

I can say i'm a massive fan of autumn ( yep, i'm going to say autumn because i'm Australian and i refuse to call it " fall " ).
The majority of the trees in the Australian environment are evergreen, so we dont get the whole leaves thing happening; plus the arrival of autuumn just reminds me its going to get colder and turn into winter, and i hate winter with a passion.

I'm a Spring kind of lady myself.

bex said...

Dear Andy,

Fall? Crunchy leaves? What are these things you speak of?

Love,
The City of Los Angeles

Andy said...

Ang- I'll talk to my people and let you know. I do hate when there's little "fall" weather and it gets cold right away.
Tiff- Agreed. Fall festivals=good time
Belle- You really miss those shoes, don't you?
Haute- Rub it in a little more.
SJ- Connecticut does have a fairly amazing fall season. I was impressed.
Teej- You know what else sucks about Texas? Hurricanes.
Diane- The combination of all three, like a seasonal Viagra
Amy- Just so I understand, is it spring there right now? Are you reverse from us Northern hemisphere folks?
City of L.A.-- Check beneath the smog. You'll find some.

LadyFi said...

I love autumn too ... and strangely enough,it can also be called fall.

Anyone know why the difference in names?

Anyway, here in Sweden, the leaves are a blazing riot of colour. And yes, the kids here do make snow angels and their own snowball candle holders in the winter. But that's all part of the fun.

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