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Thursday, September 4, 2008

To discuss catching up on TV and my life on a T-shirt

I didn't catch any of Sarah Palin's speech last night. Judging by comments I've read on your blogs, she was either inspiring or full of it; either way, I would've been more impressed if she challenged Joe Biden to a sudden death hockey shootout, winner takes the White House. Either way, sorry I missed it- I was working and didn't get home until 1:15 a.m. It's been a little crazy around here, since Barack Obama is in town touring a power plant and pretending to relate to people who make much, much less than him.
That late night session means I haven't yet watched the season premiere of American's Next Top Model, and that makes my insides hurt a little bit. That show is perfect fodder for a Play by Play- I have it Tivo'd, though... should I do a PxP anyway?

Ok, to my thought of the day- I was at a high school earlier this week talking to students. Many of these teens, as you might expect, will fail miserably in life wore shirts with witty phrases on them- you know, the crap we wore at that age, which for me means about a decade ago (that also makes my insides hurt a little bit). I never understood people who wear shirts advertising fake things- fake teams, fake cities, fake orgasms. Also, I never understood girls who wore very, very low cut shirts and then complain that boys don't respect them.
The one shirt that caught my eye read something like, "Partying since 1988." Being egotistical and neurotic, I immediately thought of what T-shirt slogan would describe my major life events. Here's what I have so far, bearing in mind I was born in 1983... Imagine the top saying "Andy..." then below, this:
  • Fumbling first kisses since 1997
  • Meeting mediocre expectations since 1983
  • Considering changing majors since graduating in 2005
  • Overcompensating for no particular reason since 1983
  • Making hollow promises to Jesus about changing my ways since 1997
  • Shaving off that same stupid, random hair on my shoulder since 2004
  • Maintaining a failed sense of accomplishment since 2001
  • Hiding a secret desire to sing in NSync since 1999
  • Incorrectly guessing girls' ages since 2005
  • Making questionable life decisions since 1983
  • Overspending at Banana Republic and then cursing myself since 1998
  • Living with oversized feet and facial features since 1983
  • Consistently the "nice guy" girls tell their boy problems to since 1995
What are yours?

11 comments:

bex said...

those are some lousy t-shirt designs. if you change your major, stay away from anything PR or fashion.


kiiiiiddiiiiing.

ANG* said...

i particularly enjoy: "Hiding a secret desire to sing in NSync since 1999"

Angie...
• 5 foot since 1994.
• spending weekends booze induced since 2000.
• loving kelly clarkson since 2002.
• spending every day on AIM since 1998.
• not being able to spell since 1982.
• having a questionable taste in boys since 1997.

those are kinda lame. maybe i shoulda sat on this for a while...

hautepocket said...

dude, i think my current website header speaks for itself. if i had an ass even half the size of kim kardashian's i would so totally be famous already.

my other would be: "making informed and intelligent decisions since 2007."

Herding Cats said...

I (shamefully) watched Top Model last night. You totally should do a play by play. It was HILARIOUS (without meaning to be). That show is ridiculous, and Tyra Banks needs to be stopped. Why doesn't anyone tell her she isn't a comedian? But anyways, I love that show...even though I laugh AT it, not WITH it.

Amy xxoo said...

This is all i could come up with over breakfast:

* Amy - hating on Britney Spears since 1999
* Amy - representing four eyes everywhere since 1990
* Amy - wanting to marry Johnny DEpp since " 21 Jump Street "
* Amy - using sarcasm innappropriately since 1994
* Amy - rocking blue jeans and sky high heels since 2000

....yup, those will do.

alexis said...

You could also do a play on that really annoying TShirt "I'm kind of a big deal"

-I've been Kind of a Big Deal since 1983

or

-Have been substituting electronics for real people since 2002

-Been chillin' with Chiweenies since ____ (insert chiweenie birth year here)

I came up with nothing good for me because instead of sayings I make Darmha Initiative TShirts like I'm clever.

alexis said...

Dude, I spelled Dharma wrong. I'm an idiot.

gracie-mel said...

Melanie:
*making her mother talk in a hushed voice since 1998
*bringing you the voice of the Wild York since 2005
*keeping Gravity Kills (track 2) alive since 1994

gracie-mel said...

Here's a question for your Q&A: What is your opinion on the resurgence of the 1990's? 90210? NKOTB? Are they any better than Madonna, who has been (somewhat) amusing audiences for 30 bazillion years and counting?

Andy said...

Bex: I'll stay away from fashion... although I do love fashion even more now that I watched that Ashley Paige bikini show. She's hilarious.
Ang: It's tearing up my heart to hear you still use AIM like so many 8th graders.
Haute: Well, since you stopped smoking and are gaining weight, there's still hope you'll get that K.K. booty
Herding kittens: I'm working on it right now.
Amy: Major props for wearing jeans and high heels. That's a good look
Alexis- Before I first mentioned it, I wonder if anyone had heard of a Chiweenie before.
Gracie-Mel: "Guilty" is such a good song, I don't care if we listened to it a 1,000 times in high school (along with the Fugees).

ashley said...

I love this..

Ashley
* not living up to parents expectations since 1984.
* started being told I'm going to hell in a hand basket for my behavior in 1998
* failing at relationships with the opposite sex since 2000.
* drinking too much wine since 2004.
* getting into major trouble with Tiff, Amber, and Michelle since 2005.
* having too many boozed induced clumsy "accidents" since 2005.

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