Friday, October 31, 2008

To discuss live Tweeting for Halloween

For the first time since becoming an adult, I'm handing out candy on Halloween. Last year, after I forgot to buy candy, I had to shut out my lights and hide like Anne Frank while people pounded on my door.
Here's hoping for better results this year...Ongoing updates, via Twitter.

wildarschase So far, one Star Wars jedi, one ladybug
wildarschase For kicks, can I put out one of those child molester posters that says "No candy here"?
wildarschase Now there's a lull. Crap. Did I say that child molester comment out loud?
wildarschase I'm offering KitKats, Take 5s and Reeses Whips (40% less fat, for overweight kids)... I'd say I have a pleasant array
wildarschase Missing ingredient for trick or treating: Kids
wildarschase Next door neighbor and I are considering trick or treating on our own if nobody shows up
wildarschase There's nothing better than seeing grown men dressed in costumes because their wives/girlfriends made them do it
wildarschase Some dude just peeled out in the parking lot. Because it's always smart to burn rubber with little kids walking around in the dark
wildarschase I wish I put as much effort into life as I did into my awesome jack-o-lantern. And I wish I could carve pumpkins professionally.
wildarschase How old were you when you stopped trick-or-treating? I was 16. I drove.
wildarschase Are Sarah Palin and Obama's kids doing this right now? Can Obama's daughter dress up as Sarah Palin? Wouldn't that be perfect?
wildarschase I bought items for my Halloween costume. It's going to be genius, and by genius, I mean $11 at Salvation Army
wildarschase Items included: Red cardigan, stocking, Santa hat, wrapping paper, tie with snowman holding an American flag
wildarschase Items to add before tomorrow night's party: Calendar with July showing
wildarschase I'm also bringing a Target bag... Give up? I'm going as the Christmas shopping season
wildarschase It starts earlier every year, you know
wildarschase Oh, and Sarah Palin is in town today. I hope she comes to get candy from me
wildarschase Even better, I hope she goes door to door campaigning. People won't know if it's her or one of the million women dressing up as her
wildarschase I just saw trick or treaters down the road. Come on over here, kiddies! I've got candy!
wildarschase I literally have kids skipping my place and going to other houses
wildarschase That little kid just grabbed like 4 Kit Kats from me. Doesn't he know we're in a recession?
wildarschase I think that was a ninja... and some kind of 80s pop star, a la Robin Sparkles from How I Met Your Mother
wildarschase That was the first time I ever spoke to the neighbors two doors down from me. They seem surprised to see me. As if I'm a ghost.
wildarschase I'm eating more candy than I am giving out. Also- almost got impaled by fake ghoul sword
wildarschase Alright, it's almost over and I can't feel my fingers.
wildarschase One last set of trick or treaters... I just gave them enough candy for a diabetic coma


gracie-mel said...

sounds more fun than my night: Norm won't let me go outside: the Bloods are initiating tonight by shooting women. sheesh. takes the fun out of everything...

kisatrtle said...

You should have come with us. I took my three kids; my neighbor took her three kids and we put a cooler of beer in the stroller.

How wrong is that?

It was actually fun and now we have enough candy to last until next year.

bianca said...

We had a ton of kids come by my house. I think they were pissed that we gave out skittles. But they were full sized bags, I thought that was a treat. Sigh

siovhan said...

i had 3 kids show up total. and all of them live next door. granted, after that i went out partying ...so maybe more came and silently resented me for not being home.

oh and i'm making my blog private, but i'd love to let you keep readign if you ever want to. just send me your email (at notlobs@gmail.com) and i'll send you and invite.

Protege said...

Andy, I have hidden from trick-or-treaters in the past as well.
This is a very humorous post, thanks for a good laugh.
And thank you for stopping by my place.:))

Diane said...

You are a funny, funny man. And you've redeemed yourself after your cannibal post. My crush is full re-established (I know, you're giddy with relief).

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