Tuesday, October 21, 2008

To discuss a Weekend Update: Meet Me in St. Louis, Part 2

This is the second part of my Weekend Update... See part one for reference... This summarizes my weekend trip to St. Louis.


Things I Learned:

* The Gateway Arch was built in the 1960s, and is thought of as a symbol to show travelers they are midway to either coast. It also serves as the last remnant of the first McDonalds for giants.... It cost $13 million to build it, $13 million St. Louis officials might have otherwise used to, say, fight crime or feed all the homeless people. Fortunately, they chose a large, steel structure that serves a limited purpose.

* The capital of Missouri is... (you don't know, do you?)... Jefferson City. I had to ask, since N.J. reporter girl and I couldn't remember our high school geography class to save our lives... which is ironic, since we were attending seminars on how students are attending failing high schools... I'd also like to thank her for throwing me under the bus after I asked the park ranger, as if N.J. had any clue. Even Jefferson City doesn't know it's the capital...Here's a test. What are the capitals of New Hampshire, Montana and Pennsylvania?*

Things I observed:

* Hundreds of high school band geeks (I say this affectionately) pouring into my hotel lobby on the eve of their national band competition. I did not ask any of the high school girls if they had done anything illicit with their flutes.

* The cockpit of airplanes, despite all our advances in technology, st
ill looks straight out of Apollo 13, which have me worried that we wouldn't have enough moon rocks to make our landing.

I wish they allowed photos inside the pods that take you up the Arch... Instead, imagine stepping into an egg crammed with five seats, except the inside of the egg reminds you of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory when that cowboy kid gets miniaturized. Then the egg climbs up the arch, swaying back and forth as all you can see outside the tiny window on the door is a shady, dark stairwell. It would make a great amusement park ride. I was mildly disappointed that they don't plummet you back once you reach the top... and that there were no Oompa Loompas.

And, finally, a montage of photos for Things I Saw:
* Walking through major airports is like walking through a uniform shop. People travel in the same, identifying clothes, mostly for safety- football teams, bands, businesses, groups of overtanned college girls wearing shorts with "Juicy" on the butt, and, as you see, nuns. Because even nuns can walk astray from their path.

* This is just a tiny portion of the crowd that came together outside of my hotel to hear Barack Obama speak. In all, there were a record-breaking 100,000 people who came for his rally, or about 99,980 more people than those who can name three characters still on "E.R."
All kinds of characters showed up for the rally, including, evidently, the Lord. I didn't know Jesus is a Democrat....
There He is! Except, well, Real Jesus wears sandals, not white boots, and His purpose is saving humanity, not campaigning for senators. But I'm splitting hairs.

Related note: That is not the Apostle Paul following Fake Jesus with a giant teddy bear. Just to clarify.
* Maple Syrup, buffalo and the Steelers. Also accepted: Concord, Helena, Harrisburg.


Amy xxoo said...

This one time, at band camp....

( Thats all. I have nothing witty to say about the Arch, Barack Obama or Fake Jesus. )

RainbowEclipse said...

your photo captions make the otherwise-still-entertaining photos so much better...

In 5th grade, I think I re-took that state capitols test 3 times before I passed it, with the aid of pnemonic devices... Fake Jesus did not help me on that test.

Anonymous said...

Aside from the obligatory "Steelers? PSH" comment as a Pennsylvanian who, to be honest, is not a Pittsburgh fan...

...Why the hell wasn't I invited to this damn conference? I'm a schools reporter. Boo hiss.

The Logarithmic Spiral said...

I remember all the state capitals to the tune of an annoying song I learned in third grade that STILL gets stuck in my head. Wait...NO! dammit...

Oh yeah, and because I was homeschooled and smarter than all y'all public school kids. Yeah, that's right. I said it.

Sam_I_am said...

I knew all three state capitals, but geography was my favorite class.

Before the last episode or ER, I could definately name 3 characters. Let's see... Mela, Frank and Morris. oh! and Sam! duh.

Anonymous said...

I just chocked on my coffee at the "and, evidently, the Lord" comment. (And yes, it's 4 pm on the west coast and I'm drinking coffee. What of it? It's better for me than crack!)

kisatrtle said...

Since you saw mine I thought I stop by and see yours. It reminded me of a time at band camp...when well never mind.

Related Posts Widget for Blogs by LinkWithin