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Sunday, November 9, 2008

To discuss Meet the Parents

Capricorn met my parents yesterday.

There were no survivors.

Just kidding, it went fine. I had already met her parents, but she hadn't met mine since they don't live near here. So, Capricorn came down to Baltimore, where my sister was moving from one part of the street to another. Capricorn, who already had met my brother, met my sister and her boyfriend and my parents, who were in town to help. We all went to Applebees to "Get it Together, Baby!" amd enjoyed an immense amount of food, and everyone had fun (how could you not have fun with spinach-and-cheese dip? Seriously.).

Relationship hurdle, jumped.

Rather than expound on an evening of parent meeting that went well, let's have more fun discussing a past Meet the Parents event that was much more of the Robert DiNiro type.

Ex-Fiance's dad is a genuinely nice person and grew to trust and like me over the several years I was with ex-fiance. But, when I first met him several years ago, I think his goal was to cause me to change my underwear at a moment's notice.

An abridged list of various things he did as The Dad/items about his past history that causes said spontaneous peeing of said pants:
  • Talked to me while cleaning a rifle
  • Used to be a sharpshooter for the government
  • Did I mention the rifle?
  • Completed a police background check on me
  • Checked my tire pressure before I drove ex-fiance in my car
  • Kept ex-fiance on a curfew
  • Called her phone frequently to see where she was
  • Followed Ex-Fiance and I from our college to Pittsburgh in a rainstorm once, trailing behind a couple cars
  • Sat at the end of the parking lot with binoculars and watched me walk ex-fiance to her car
  • Murdered kittens
  • Did not murder kittens, but had you there for a second, right?
  • Reminded me how easily he could hack into anybody's computer, given his job as a computer technology expert
  • Has a black belt in karate

So, you can see how no dad from that point on would intimidate me. Have you had horror stories?

14 comments:

Marinka said...

Wow, you dodged that bullet with Ex-fiance's dad! Glad this get together went smoother. When I met my husband's parents for the first time, apparently after I left, they asked him, "what about that other nice girl you dated for a while? Maybe you should give her another chance?"

Miss Tiff said...

I'm glad Capricorn meeting the parents went well. =)

The whole cleaning a rifle thing sounds like something my dad would do when I bring Mr. Romance home to meet them. Let's hope he doesn't do that when it comes time to meet introducing Mr Romance to them.

bex said...

Can you blame the guy? I mean clearly you look like a guy who would chop up someone's daughter and toss her parts in a burlap sack into the river.

Amy xxoo said...

Wow - is her dad actually Robert De Niro ? You must have really loved her because i woulde have run for the hills after all that...

bianca said...

Woah, that dad sounds hardcore.

My dad never did anything like that. My older brother was the crazy one. I went with a date to the movies and he had friends who worked at the theater sit next to/behind us the entire time to make sure "nothing happened". And then they told him they would "make his life uncomfortable" if he even considered touching me. Clearly that relationship didn't last.

I'm glad the meeting went well!

Sam_I_am said...

when I was 6, I had this boyfriend in kindergarten and my dad (being the jokester that he is) said that he was going to kill him and put his head on a stick in front of the school as a warning to all the other boys. Now, being the 6 year old that I was, I didn't know that I should NOT repeat this to said little boyfriend. Let's just say that when my dad came to pick me up at his 6th birthday party, Frankie hid behind his mom.

RainbowEclipse said...

semi-related... obvs Chris and have been together forever, our parents are well-acquainted and such --- but the one hurdle we apparently haven't overcome yet is figuring out what to call each other's parents to their faces...

We've even tried asking them... and Chris' dad simply suggested "How about "Sir"... and we laughed it off but I still have NOOOO idea... is this an issue for anyone else? Do you now refer to Capricorn's mom as Mom, Mum, Mrs. Capricorn????

I had to ask.

stealthnerd said...

My dad loves to try and shoot the woodpeckers that attack my house w/a BB gun (I should clarify--he shoots them with a BB gun. If they were attacking with said BB gun, we'd all be screwed).

Anyway, the first time BF came to stay with us, my mom and I had to beg my dad not to take the gun out. Especially when BF was sneaking the cigarettes that my dad never knew he smoked.

Andy said...

Marinka- Really? Hahahaha. I mean... That's awful.
Tiff- Let's hope so
Bex- That only happened once.
Amy- Well, her mom was nice and cooked for me, so...
Bianca- You are the type of girl that guys are scared to date, definitely
Sam- I hope your dad didn't say the same thing to your fiance
Stealth- What a fun hobby- Shooting peckers.

kk said...

Ah, Meet The Parents, my all-time favorite movie!

Glad everyone lived to tell the story.

It's nice when everyone gets along. For me and Mr. KK, it's not odd that OUR parents will go out together. They will call us from a bar, drunk and laughing, telling us they've been hanging out all night.

It's cool, but...weird.

Dave W said...

Katie's dad totally checked my tire pressure too. Pretty much none of the others. Closest we got was eating breakfast and him casually observing that she hadn't slept upstairs in her room that the previous couple of nights.

Funniest moment was right when we started dating, and she played footsie with him by accident during dinner for about 5 seconds before he pushed his chair back and leaned under the table to see what was happening.

hautepocket said...

Yea....are you sure that wasn't my dad?

phd in yogurtry said...

nothing so horrible as yours. I did have a longterm bf whose mother told me, "I don't know whose child he is. The moment he was born, I thought to myself, he is not mine."

uh. ok.

Anna Lefler said...

Oh, God. That reminds me so much of my former mother-in-law who, I'm quite sure murdered at least one cat as well as the souls of many around her.

Good times.

Marinka was right - you're awesome.

[Marinka, if you're reading this, I was not implying that you might NOT be right or that I was surprised in any way by your rightness, both now and into the future. We're cool, right?]

:^) Anna

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