I was so ready to give you my Weekend Update or debut a new feature this morning.
Then, I had a crazy dream, and I feel I must share it with you now, and post the other stuff later.
The dream (commence weird, ethereal music and fog machine):
I was playing professional baseball for the Pittsburgh Pirates, and we were playing the New York Yankees (I know this because I saw Derek Jeter). It was my turn to bat in the top of the first inning. I crushed a double to the left-center gap (what detail, right?). As I slid toward second base, with Alex Rodriguez standing there waiting to try to tag me out, I did some kind of insane slide around him that cause him to lunge forward. I got up quickly and leap-frogged over A-Rod to touch second base safely.
Flash-forward to later in the game. The announcers are now saying I hit a home run, the only run scored so far in the game. What's weird is I am now pitching, which I wasn't doing before in the game. Even weirder is that after every inning I pitched, I was driving home, 40 minutes away, and then racing back before my next inning to pitch started.
At this point, I'm driving back to Pittsburgh, except for some reason I get lost in an area that I can only imagine comes out of some Carl Sandberg poem. I'm worried I'm not going to make it back to pitch in time. I bump into two former newspaper editors of mine (?!?!), who say not to worry.
Soon, I park next to this large, multi-level structure similar to a mall, minus the teenyboppers and old men. I walk into the building, which immediately transform into an open-air market type of deal (?!?!), with a myriad of avenues to wander down.
I'm completely lost at this point but somehow make it back to an elevator, not unlike Willy Wonka's. Inside, there is a handicap dude, getting wheeled out by a nurse. I get in, seemingly having a good idea what floor to get off on. But when I emerge, I'm somehow in a parking lot in the middle of the sky. I go inside (!?!), where I see two people I graduated high school with (and have not talked to in about 7 years). For some reason, I try to make sure they don't see me because I don't feel like talking to them. They are evidently married (not true in real life) and fighting. It appears I'm now at a travel agency/airport, with only two options of destinations, one in the Middle East and I think the other was in Europe.
I go down the last, unmarked hall.
And then I wake up.
WTH. I've never had anything like that dream. I did not eat anything spicy right before going to bed. I did not leave a tooth under my pillow waiting for the tooth fairy. I did not having anything to drink.
Thoughts? Do you recall any dreams of your own lately?
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