Monday, November 10, 2008

To discuss a Weekend Update: Carrie Bradshaw gets what she deserves

Part of my weekend was consumed with helping my sister move, which included a Meet the Parents for Capricorn and my family; see this for the update.
There were many other sights and sounds, however, and so we begin our mostly-context free Weekend Update:

Things I perused:
  • The arts and crafts at Michaels. Capricorn and I are going to enter my apartment complex's holiday door decorating contest. We plan on winning, or at least sabatoging other doors. She wanted to do an elf theme, which really works best if you can attach costumed little people to your door to sing merrily to passersby.
Things I heard:
  • "So, how's the movie going?" Capricorn said. It was Friday night, and I was finally watching "No Country for Old Men." I was about 30 minutes in at that point. My reply, "It's good. About 20 people have died already. They are murdering everyone."
Things I tasted:
  • Steak with shrimp parmesan topping, at Applebees. I felt guilty having a mouth orgasm with my family sitting so close by.
  • The 1,000th piece of Halloween candy, as I try to make my way to the bottom of the bowl. Are you still eating your leftovers?
Things I saw:
  • Bailey trying to find Velcro, who was perched atop a chair. Velcro, the tiny kitten my parents brought from their house, eventually swatted Bailey in the face. Velcro 1, Bailey 0.
  • "Sex and the City: The Movie" Capricorn wanted to watch it, and I obliged, after she watched football for me. I had only seen a handful of SATC episodes, mostly the TBS, censored version, when I was in college, but at least I knew all the characters and storylines.
Here's what I surmised about the main characters after watching the movie (don't read if you haven't seen it):
  • Charlotte is hot and possibly the only normal person in the group.
  • I'm glad Samantha didn't bang the neighbor. I could have done without seeing that guy's penis, but then again, there were a lot of boobs in the movie, so fair is fair. Penises (Peni?) look weird, like an unfinished arm.
  • Miranda is so stubborn I wanted to smack her...
  • BUT I wanted to smack Carrie even more. At least in terms of this movie, Carrie is so self-absorbed, needy, pouting and selfish that she never sees the other person's side and makes everything into a big deal (not just the left-at-the-altar thing). I'm not sure why Big puts up with it. I'd be hesitant to marry a woman like that, too. I didn't hear her apologize the entire movie... Is this where I start getting hate mail?
  • The movie was entertaining, at least from a guy's perspective. I'm just glad I watched football beforehand to balance everything out.


Miss Tiff said...

I'm still eating left over Halloween candy. I'm starting to wonder if I'm ever going to see the bottom of the bowl. I liked "Sex and the City the movie". I'm also glad Samantha didn't bang the neighbor.

Lump said...

felt guilty having a mouth orgasm with my family sitting so close by.

ok I seriously laughed out loud when I read this. I need to go to Applebee's. ;)

I would like to slap Charlotte just because she has the most annoying scream EVER. other than that, the movie was pretty funny and predictable!

Ben said...

"Penises (Peni?) look weird, like an unfinished arm."

Now I need therapy.

stealthnerd said...

I totally think Carrie got what she deserved. Well, I did until they got married. I mean, if a guy who has strung you along for nearly a decade leaves you at the altar, you're probably better off. When they got back together at the end, well, it was just ridiculous.

LBluca77 said...

There is nothing wrong with showing some penis in a non porn movie.

I thought Charlotte was hilarious in the movie, she was never that funny on the show.

SouthernBelle said...

Ugh, now I am happier I didn't watch the SatC movie. I didn't watch the series; even though I am a shallow fashion-admirer, I didn't really dig the whole random-empty-sex-and-oversharing angle.

And that whole thing from the trailer - she doesn't want a diamond, just a really big closet? gee, he must feel so loved.

Amy xxoo said...

" No Country For Old Men " ? Awesome.

Javier Bardems hairstyle in the movie ? Freaking terrible. Although i wouldnt like to be the one to tell his character that - he might obliterate you with his massive air gun/murder machine.

kisatrtle said...

I watch SaTC this weekend too. I liked it and I'd have to agree with you. Carrie was a little over the top for me. I absolutely loved Jennifer Hudson's character though.

Well, I think I'm off to Applebees

~Sheila~ said...

I've seen lots of SATC episodes (the unrated versions are sooo much better) but I'm a little hesitant about watching the actual movie.
I remember when I first started watching the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episodes and then I found out that they were based on a movie. I checked out the movie and it was UTTER AND COMPLETE CRAP!

But what do I know. Maybe I will like the movie better here.

Libby said...

i didn't have any halloween leftovers luckily. i ate a ton of the candy before halloween & then i gave the 5 trick-or-treaters i had like 3 handfuls of candy each.

Little Ms Blogger said...

Love the Applebee's orgasm reference....it's the best advertisement I've heard for them EVER....

Surprised you didn't comment on Carrie's headpiece for the wedding - can you say UGLY!!!!

bianca said...

1) Still eating candy...it's a problem.

2) You made me want Applebees NOW

3) My fiance will be happy to know that he wasn't the only guy that watched SATC. And your observations are spot on.

Marinka said...

I haven't seen the SATC movie, but I still feel like I can discuss it with complete authority. There is just no way that Charlotte is the sane one. No way.

And I think that I need to have my arteries unclogged after reading your Applebee's menu!

Andy said...

MT- Let's race to the bottom of the bowl; winner gets diabetes.
Lump- Let's go to Applebees together. It's delightful.
Ben- Yeah, I think I just scared you straight.
Nerdherd- Excellent point. Why would she expect anything less?
Bluca- I loved it when she pooped her pants.
Belle- Consider yourself blessed for not watching, although others may disagree.
Amy- I want that hairstyle. And the air gun.
Kisa- They could've done a whole spinoff on JHud. I'm sure Taya Diggs and Omar Epps would be in it.
Sheila- Yeah, but the Buffy movie was supposed to be a lot different. This SATC movie is just like the show.
Libby- Good job rationing the candy.
Little Ms. Can't Be Wrong- Oh, you mean that bluebird that died on her face?
Bianca- No more candy. Eat a carrot.

Mel said...

This is Mel, Diane's friend (from Diane's Addled Ramblings)...I may have my girl card taken away because Carrie from SATC? Just plucks my last nerve! Of course it wouldn't be the first time my girl card was taken away from me. Costumed little people elves attached to doors singing merrily to passersby made me giggle.

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