To discuss a TV Play by Play: Bachelor Part II

Part one of The Bachelor Season Finale play-by-play can be found here. This is the second half of the dragged-out finale. I have a feeling I'm the only straight male watching this show right now...(There are spoilers. But you knew that.)

1:05 Date #2 for Molly, and she busts out the bikini AND a massage table. Weird, but on Rock of Love Bus, when a girl wants Bret's attention, she just does him in the back of a tour bus. This show seems a bit classier.
1:10 So Jason is either going to be a giant jerk to Melissa, or a giant jerk to Molly, who have been laid everything on the line for him and love him. This should set a nice precedent for Ty, who will now grow up thinking he can lead on two women and drop one when he feels like it. Except Ty will learn that theory doesn't work when you're not on a reality show... or when you look like a Star Trek crew member.
1:18 DeAnna pops by Jason's house. "What are you doing here?"Jason asks. "To provide filler and drama for the next 15 minutesvisit," she replies. She tells Jason she made the wrong decision on "The Bachelorette" and wants him back. What, is his high school sweetheart going to pop up next and say she thought they'd last forever and wants to marry him? Because that would be AWESOME.
1:21 How can I get dramatic music to play whenever I make a serious decision, like it plays on the show? I'd like it to play when I'm talking to my girlfriend, when I'm making career choices, when I'm choosing what clothes to wear, when I'm looking at the McDonalds menu....all the big decisions.
1:33 Jason is surprised he's not having fun choosing who to marry and who to reject. Really? You thought this would be a walk in the park? I can't choose a movie without sensing a little regret. You're choosing a wife. But I do see a compromise. Have you ever seen "Big Love," Jason?
1:40 I know this is the dramatic rose ceremony and all, but all I keep looking at is Jason's sweet suit. I have issues. GQ, please use this as my official notification to renew my subscription.
1:42 Jason to Molly: "You're amazing in every way possible," but I'm about to break your heart.
1:43 Annndddd I'm right! Molly says she just doesn't understand what happened. Molly, not sure if you know this or not, but there's another woman involved.
1:47 Jason, you're crying more than Molly. I'm going to have to revoke your dude card.
1:55 "Right now, I don't have any doubt about Melissa at all." Why do I think the reunion show after this will make you a liar, Jason?
1:58 Jason, your whole "Propose by the sunset on national TV" thing has sooo been done before. Where's the originality?
1:59 I can't wait to see this whole relationship crash and burn. That is the whole point of this show, right? They don't call it "The Groom-to-Be."

For the over-the-top, dramatic After the Rose Reunion Show play by play, stop over at Real Blogger. It'll make me feel better for watching three hours of The Bachelor by myself.