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Wednesday, April 8, 2009

To discuss As Seen On TV Week: ShamWow

This continues As Seen on TV Week, full of product reviews, news and other stories of our favorite As Seen on TV products. Any product reviewed is something I actually own. Check here for a PediPaws review. Feel free to comment on your own experience with these products... I'm being paid absolutely nothing to do this, so I'll take what I can get:

Hey, I'm Wild ARS here for ShamWow. Have you ever had the urge to soak up large quantities of liquids on your carpet, and just couldn't find the right product to do it? Well, use a sponge you moron.

But if sponges don't do it for you, try ShamWow. For under $20, you can get a whole pack of ShamWows. You'll actually want to spill things on the carpet, just to see it soak it up.
Cola? You bet. Pet stains? Well, if you mean poop, then no, that's gross. But urine? More pee, please! Tears of remorse after a bitter break-up with a cheating ex? It won't piece your heart back together, but it will keep that pillow oh so dry!

Here, watch an actual demonstration performed by a guy with a bachelor's degree and a little too much time on his hands (me):

It's made in Germany. You know the Germans make good stuff. Like death camps and decades of hate. And now, ShamWows!Olympic divers use it as a towel, as evidently all the good towels were given to Michael Phelps. I think you at home can use it as a towel, too. A naughty, naughty towel.
Sure, pitchman Vince Shlomi was arrested for beating a hooker (I can't even make this up. He really was. Talk about a Slap Chop, eh, Vincey boy?). But what better to soak up the evidence than a ShamWow? Take that, CSI!... And, upon your conviction, it'll work great in the prison showers, too, Vince.

But ShamWow does have its limits, folks. Please do not try to use it to soak up any of the following:
White wine: White wine is for drinking. Red wine is for spilling on carpets during infomercials.
Peeps: Silly, you can't soak up a Peep. But you can stick them in the microwave and watch them explode. Then, and only then, can you wipe up the mess.
Coke: Flush it down the toilet when the cops come. It's not going to soak up. (Note to the authorities: This is sugar. I promise. I couldn't score coke unless you give me 75 cents and a vending machine.)
Blood: Many infomercials will tell you the virtues of being able to quickly soak up blood, but I think you should be more concerned with the fact you are bleeding profusely. (Note to Capricorn: This is hot sauce. I am not bleeding. Do not call 911.)

You are allowed to, however, use the ShamWow as a superhero cape in case you run out of spills to clean up around the home.
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Actual review: They really do a nice job of soaking up copious amounts of liquid, and they stay soft. But it's not like they are reinventing the wheel, here. And they do have a weird smell when wet. I'd give it 3.5 out of 5 stars.

22 comments:

cavy said...

coke in your vending machine only costs 75 cents? i'm still paying 90 cents. must be the economy.

and you are correct, they DO smell odd when they're wet. sort of like a burnt grilled cheese.

Anonymous said...

you are back and hotter than ever!!

Little Ms Blogger said...

Thanks for the review.

I always think it would be great to own, but my husband is always telling me that the Sham is a sham.

Thanks for proving him wrong.

~Sheila~ said...

I actually went out and bought a shamwow too. The kids took right to testing it. Now I have shamwows scattered all over the house. I told them they could use it to dry the dishes...how's that for motivation?

Loving the pics. The shower one is hilarious!

Racquel Valencia said...

Oh my God, I love Vince. Hooker beatings and all. He also does an infomercial for some version of the Magic Bullet and my roommate had to physically restrain me to keep from ordering one.

"But Vince says it makes breakfast fuuuuuun!!!"

"Racquel, nothing legal makes breakfast that fun."

Andy said...

Cavy- Only at work, and only for cans.... It is a weird smell that Capricorn thinks is repulsive. I, on the other hand, am just glad the mess is gone.
Anonymous- Thanks, stranger.
Blogger- Great, now your husband is going to ask me to reimburse him.
Sheila- That's very sneaky of you
Racquel- I think we should always believe Vince.

Jess said...

And now I know. So, I thank you for that much needed information regarding sham-wow.

Can't wait for the snuggly (snuggler? you know what I'm talking about?) review! Which I really hope you're doing

Heather said...

That shower picture cracked me up... so scandalous, Andy.
And I LOVE that you clarified that the coke wasn't actually coke and the blood wasn't actually blood. I was really worried about you for a minute. I thought, "Dear God - he's somewhere drunk, snorting coke, eating peeps and bleeding profusely! Someone help!"
And I wonder what makes it smell weird?

Kellie said...

Hahaha! That shower pic is great. Naughty Andy. :)

And yes, you should do a Snuggie reivew. They actually had an organized Snuggie Pub Crawl downtown last weekend. We got to see some of them out. It was hilarious and it made me want one!

BeckEye said...

I'm gonna stick with my paper towels. Because I love throwing my money away.

Miss Tiff said...

Haha. The shower pic cracked me up. God only knows what makes those things smell weird...

amindinmotown said...

I'm more concerned with who took that photo of you in the shower... You told Capricorn not to worry about you bleeding, which leads one to believe she wasn't there, so who took that picture mister? Hm. Hm.

Or were you all sly and set the timer? I hope you didn't slip on the wet floor trying to get the perfect shot.

FunnyGal KAT said...

It kind of ruins the "fluids" photo when you tell us they're not what they are labeled as. Next time I'm going to have to insist you use real blood and coke for your demonstrations. Otherwise, I'm going to have to stop believing everything I read on the Internet and we don't want that, do we?

Debbie said...

I feel so much smarter and well-informed now! Thanks:)

Amy xxoo said...

I am wowed by this ShamWow thing, which we arent lucky enough to have here in Australia.

However, you do realise that its pretty much just like any other chamois you've ever bought ? My dad has one in his garage to dry his car after its been washed. I'd say i have one, but i dont have a garage and nor do i wash my car.... yes, lazy.

Sarah said...

pretty sure that dude was recently arrested for beating up a hooker, but i'm too lazy to look for the mugshot right now. might make a nice addition to your story.

joshlos said...

The idea of you getting Capricorn to take a picture of you wearing a ShamWow as a cape to post on your blog is highly entertaining. Doubly so when imagining your photoshopping efforts of said pic.

Blogging is the best.

Phil said...

That's the nicest review yet I've seen for the ShamWow. Everyone else I know who's used it has said it failed completely and made them want to punch that dude.

Sam_I_am said...

I don't know how much longer I can read your blog from work if you are going to post compromising pictures of yourself. ;-)

Have you ever noticed in the Shamwow infomercial, we Vice first pours the pop on the piece of carpet, it gushes out on the table in front of the carpet, but when they shoot away and back, most of that is gone? Conspiracy!

Soda and Candy said...

Best ShamWow review ever.

I like the superhero cape the best, even if it is a funny-smelling one.

Jenners said...

seriously, can you just review As Seen on TV products FOREVER? These are so frickin' funny ... and informative.

And why does the Shamwow guy look like 25 years older in his mug shots? Were these commercials filmed years ago? It didn't even look like the same guy!

Erin said...

Awesome. I'm so glad that you pointed out that you can't use it on white wine. We all know that only red wine actually spills.

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