Monday, July 13, 2009

To discuss a Weekend Update: Goodwill is a modern bucco's booty

WildARSChase Weekend UpdateToday's my first day back at work after a week off. So, technically, my weekend update should be covering nine days.
Let me quickly recap the first eight days:
Sleep in. Work on blog stuff. Eat. Watch a re-run of (fill in an HGTV/TLC home improvement show). Eat. Walk the dogs. Eat. Work on blog stuff. Assassinate world leaders. Work out with Capricorn. The uze.

Yesterday, to cap off the vacation I went to Capricorn's parent's house for dinner, as we do most Sundays. Before the meal, Capricorn, Caprimom and I went to Goodwill in search of an ottoman, clothes and Long John Silver's buried treasure. Since Goodwill is neither underwater or a pirate ship, we relented and settled for the first two.

While I discovered two ties (for just $4-- take that, Express Men), I also found a treasure no pirate could claim: Goodwill's assortment of WTH? donated items. And so, here's a visual Weekend Update, Goodwill edition. Click on images to enlarge.

WildARSChase Britney Spears Heart to Heart bookIn retrospect, this book is to poor example of literature what the song "Crazy" was to ironic portent of things to come for Britney.

WildARSChase Goodwill Titanic movie VHS set"I'm Titanic. Oooooh, I won 11 Oscars. I'm all dramatic and three hours long and always on TNT and have Kate Winslet's now well-exposed boobs and Leo DiCaprios' boyish charm"....Well, Titanic, looks like your VHS collector's sets aren't a hot item at Goodwill. So suck it. P.S. I'm totally watching you next time you're on cable.

WildARSChase Goodwill doll creepyCreepy.

WildARSChase Goodwill doll CreepierCreepier.

WildARSChase Goodwill doll creepiestCreepiest. I see murder in those eyes. And vengeance. Yours for $2.85!

WildARSChase weekend update Goodwill cat shirtTwo things. One, someone felt the need to make a shirt about all the great things about cats. Two, you just clicked on the image, because just had to know all the things in life this person learned from their cat. I ask you, who is worse off?

WildARSChase Weekend Update Goodwill Railroad Book Having a Life FAILRejected subtitle:
Model Railroading: We both know the only thing getting laid around here are tracks.

WildARSChase Melba Moore Record Cover DesignTwenty bucks says '80s singer Melba Moore regrets this rainbow craptastic album cover till the day she dies. You'd never guess what she looks like now.

WildARSChase Goodwill Olsen Twins puzzleThis is supposed to be a 100 piece puzzle. Something tells me if they made an updated Olsen twin puzzle, they'd only need about 65 pieces- 60 for the now wafe-like bodies and 5 pieces for a caption that reads: "For just 10 cents a day, you can help support an Olsen.'

WildARSChase Monica CDConfession time... I used to own a copy of this CD. And kinda loved it. They also had copies of Backstreet Boys' "Millenium" and *NSYNC's debut album. Show Me the Meaning of being sold for 99 cents!


Soda and Candy said...

I totally clicked on the cat picture. you know me so well!

Also, that last doll is gonna eat your SOUL.

Diane said...

Those dolls? Yeah, we donated them. Because they creeped my kid out and I got tired of them 'sleeping' in my bedroom. No lie.

bianca said...

I love goodwill...you can spend hours in there laughing at the ridiculousness that's available. I can't believe they had so many copies of Titanic. Guess those girls that were in love with Leo grew up. And I'm going to have nightmares tonight about those dolls.

Andy said...

Soda: Yeah, I knew you would. I just knew it.
Diane: It's your fault Soda and Candy will have nightmares.
Bianca: Somewhere, a now 25 year old girl is staring at a battered copy of Tiger Beat with Leo on it, and crying.

Amy xxoo said...

First off, i must be the only person who is NOT going to click on that cat picture. I hate cats, so i do not give a fig what the stupid t-shirt says.

Also, i still have Backstreet Boys " Millenium ". I dont listen to it anymore ( much ) but i never get rid of music. Music is a reminder of my history,man!

*~Dani~* said...

I did not have to click on the cat tshirt because I own cats and know they are awesome. But I do agree that those dolls creep me the hell out.

You have also inspired me to take a better look at the items in my Goodwill store.

Ben said...

I had both the Monica AND Brandy albums because after The Boy Is Mine I couldn't decide which I liked better.

I'm indecisive when it comes to catty women.

kisatrtle said...

I didn't click on the cat pic, but total fell for the melba

Zan said...

I should not have read this right before bed...

Tomorrow I will blog about the nightmares I am sure to have about those bloody dolls and that Mary Kate/Ashley puzzle. I can see it coming.

Anonymous said...

I love goodwill and the army! It's so hard to resist decorating my apartment with dead old lady 'chic'.

spleeness said...

haha, I believe you were the one who said something like: "Kate Winslet of I'll-never-let-go-oops-my-bad-i-already-did" makes me laugh like once a week. You crack me up with your Titanic references!

Jenners said...

I had no idea they had such great stuff at Goodwill! I'm going to do all my shopping there from now on. And -- NO JOKE -- my husband actually owned a copy of that Britney Spears books. And I married anyway. What is WRONG with me?

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