Dear Columbia House Music:
You have to feel like IDIOTS. C'mon, don't try to look all naive and innocent.
You know what I'm talking about.
Remember your whole BMG/Columbia House Music Club? I was just reminded of it recently. What a sweet deal that was, back in the day. You'd sign up for the club (by mailing in a card, as the Internet was still in its 26k days, or nonexistent), and instantly get 12 free CDs/Tapes/Records/Music Boxes or whatever format was popular.
Then, oh then, all you had to do was buy a few more albums within two years, usually at a marked-up price, and you'd get to keep those 12 free albums! What a deal!
I could hardly resist it when I was 12 or 13, knowing I could get awesome CDs of Ace of Base, Mariah Carey and Monica (I feel you, Monica. Just one of 'dem days, that a girl goes th... oh, you're talking about PMS? Oh. That's awkward for me... uh...) for free if I could get my mom to pay for another five CDs at a price of $14.98 or more each, even though Wal-mart and every other store sold them for cheaper.
Some may say the whole deal was a scam and it's easier to withdraw troops from Iraq than it is to get out of the Columbia House Music Club, but hey, free CDs!
Have you ever seen a business model implode? Door-to-door milk delivery, Hummers during a gas price crisis, online groceries, newspapers (I kid, I kid)...
Columbia, when iTunes came around, did you physically poop your pants, or just metaphorically?
iTunes won't give me 12 free mp3 albums just for registering, but they also let me buy songs for .99 cents each, and albums song by song. Oh, and I get them right now, instead of waiting for them in the mail. And if I'm feeling particularly sneaky, I could just download stuff for free on bittorrent sites.
How did you miss the gravy train on this one? And how in the world do you still have your music club in business? Even bigger question: At what point did you say, "Eh, mp3 downloading is just a fad, what people really want is to order their music and have it mailed to them so they can keep up with membership commitments!"
Good job offering DVDs, at least... except that Netflix is raping you there, too.
P.S. Thanks again for that sweet Ace of Base, CD, though. It's All That (I) Want.
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