Friday, June 4, 2010

To discuss new Golden Girls

First off, let's have a moment of silence for Rue McLanahan.


... OK, good. I better not need a moment of silence for our last Golden Girl, Betty White, anytime soon.

But, knowing nothing is more popular right now than Betty, commemorating dead people and the 1980s, maybe I better dust off some recommendations for a reboot of Golden Girls, just in case.

Despite "Sex and the City 2" performing as poorly as Hollywood nuptials, I still think there would be interest in getting the older, original model going again.

The Blanche role:
Suzanne Somers. I didn't grow up watching Suzanne on "Three's Company." I grew up watching her play a sex kitten in the Lambert household on "Step by Step." *

No doubt in my mind she could handle this. There could be a whole episode on kegal exercises with her Thighmaster. Then there could be a bunch of Thighmaster jokes, which are always welcome. Bonus: Patrick Duffy could make random appearances.

* Step by Step is vastly underrated in the pantheon of 1990s sitcoms. Unless we're talking about any episode that focused on the youngest kid, Brendan or whatever his name was. He needed to disappear.

The Rose role:
Aside from Betty White herself, let's get Kathy Griffin's mother, Maggie, to play this. If you've ever seen "My Life on the D List," you know this is perfect. Likable, positive, somewhat clueless and with a sassy side. She'd also drink wine every episode. And basically, Maggie sewed it up when she actually met Betty White in this episode.

The Dorothy role:
Candice Bergen. You knew her as Murphy Brown. Then you knew her as the snooty, uptight judge on "Miss Congeniality." Then you knew her as that character on that Boston show that kept winning Emmys when you didn't know anyone watching it. I think she could handle the snark and the pithy comments.

The Sophia role:
Ellen Albertini Dow: Who, you say? I've never heard of her, you say? Bet you have. Maybe this will ring a bell:
Still nothing? Think "rapping Grandma in 'The Wedding Singer.'" Ah, there we g0. Ellen is ninety-freaking-two and still making movies and TV shows. I hope to be alive at 92. Oh, and she actually guest-starred on the Golden Girls for a few episodes. And she was the sweet, adorable choir nun in "Sister Act." So that's case closed.

Am I right? Do you have suggestions?


WaterColorLilly28 said...

Love your recommendations and I am glad someone else LOVES "Step by Step" as much as I do!

Soda and Candy said...

Preeeeetty much perfect!

Meryl Streep for the guest star!

Anonymous said...

Great casting :)

And you are so right about Step by Step... and now the theme song is stuck in my head.

Herding Cats said...

This is so genius! And it needs to happen - like now.

Little Ms Blogger said...

Oh, I think Kathy Lee's mom would make a better Sophia - she's very quick with her comments and loves her wine.

Jenners said...

I think you missed your calling as a casting agent. Kathy G's mom is perfect!!

P said...

I love the Sophia suggestion most of all!

Sam_I_am said...

Step By Step was one of my favorites! I think Cloris Leachman could play Sophia, if need be.

BeckEye said...

I looooove Kathy Griffin's mom. I thought her dad was awesome too. *sniff*

Katie said...

No Susan Boyle for Dorothy? I'm hurt and relieved at the same time.

Mindy said...


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