I know a thing or two about women, not the least of which are tidbits such as:
1) They never want you to reply if you are asked if they look fat
2) They always like hugs, unless they are sweaty and then eww gross I'm disgusting
3) They have fantasized about Leonardo DiCaprio. Or is that Kate Winslet? I can never remember.
4) They are afraid of bears.
But, according to Someone in the Know, I recently learned this:
If two women like the same guy, they will exchange catty comments to each other to display who the guy likes best...
"Haha, Andy and I were just laughing at an inside joke. It's great, not that you'd get it because you weren't there."
"Oh, well that's fine. I was just writing Andy a handwritten note, because I know he prefers those. It's OK that you stick to emails. I'm sure he doesn't mind that much."
"No problem at all. While you're doing that, I'm taking care of his dog. You know, his dog really likes me. Andy says his dog only likes certain kinds of people. Too bad he doesn't like you, so sorry."
"On a related note, I heard you're a bitch, you dirty slut."
And so on.
Now, you'd never hear guys talk in passive-aggressive tones like that. If we don't like someone, we stop talking to them, yell at them or light their loved ones on fire. It's a simple system. But women? Noooooo. It's evidently much better to take subtle digs at each other to see which one breaks first.
I knew women were catty, but I wasn't aware there's some kind of system in place that you can trade barbs back and forth to establish superiority over who will eventually get a guy. Here's a secret, ladies: We're oblivious to all that, and instead are choosing based on who makes us feel the best, who gets along with our family/friends, and who has nicer boobs/butt/legs/eyes/kidneys.
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