To discuss rounding the bases and pets on a leash

There are many things about my middle school and high school years I don't remember clearly: early morning basketball practices, study halls, stabbing a lecherous hobo... that kind of stuff.
But I also just realized, after a discussion with a few others, what the guidelines are now for the four bases of intimacy.
You know which bases I'm talking about, because I'm sure some of you have trotted around them a time or two, and some have spent more time crossing home plate than the Yankees. The bases are the fodder of teenage talk, when you tried to determine how far you had gone with a guy or girl or teacher (as the case may be).
So, I'm looking for some reminders here. I don't know if this varies by region, but since I've got people checking this blog from all over, I figure we'll get some good insight. Feel free to correct me:

• First base is kissing. I think you can slip your tongue past the goalie and still be on first base, but others may be more strict.
• Second base is fondling, or, an even funnier word, petting. I love when news outlets use the phrase "heavy petting," as if boobs should be put on a leash. Actually, not a terrible idea, although I guess that means my boys would have to be put on a leash, too. In a land of metaphors, that's not far from my reality, anyway.
• Third base involves mouth to crotch. I think this has to be one of the more obvious ones, but still, there's one hell of a gap between second and third, isn't there? I feel like there should be a mid-base in between, where the shortstop would be. But that would make the analogy too difficult, and all people are trying to do is screw like rabbits, so let's not slow it down.
• Home is the daddy maker. It's when the third base coach gives the windmill arm to wave you in for sexual congress. Although, I do know there are a lot of guys who race home even when the coach has the stop sign up. Those guys are called bastards.

Does this sound about right? Did you ever talk about what base you were on? What do people in England do- is there a good cricket analogy?
I can think of some good variations, too. For strict Christians, first base is asking the girl's father for permission to talk to her, second base is winking, third base is holding her hand and home is reading Song of Solomon. For prostitutes, first base is... uh, sex.
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Quick notes:
* If you leave a comment on my posts, I'm doing my best to check out your blog, too. I've been told that's how it works. Of course, when I read your blog, I get jealous and cry the bitter tears of inadequacy. But I'm going to frequently mention sweet posts I've found, such as this one by Cindypoe. She uses the phrase "white knuckling the ibuprofen bottle," and it's glorious.
* I couldn't be happier with the feedback I've gotten so far, so I appreciate that. Wednesday was a personal best for visitors and page views, although that might be because I called pre-teen Chinese gymnasts whores and I referenced Google-friendly Wal-mart. But, I'm still pleased, and I've got some good ideas coming up, including a possible sordid co-blog entry with my ex-fiance!
* Thanks for the support of those who were behind me declaring that Alicia on the U.S. gymnastics team is my new girlfriend, even though she totally screwed the team out of a gold. I think the two of us have a real future, once she stops letting my country down and stops chalking her hands during intimate situations.