To discuss a TV Play by Play: Making the Band 4 Season Finale

It's been a little bit since my last TV Play by Play. I was waiting to be appropriately inspired.

Consider me 'spired.

Making the Band 4 Season Finale....For background, see this post. Basically, it's Diddy's three new groups- Danity Kane, an all-female R&B group/potential strippers; Day 26, an R&B band like Boyz II Men but without the panache or bulky suits; and Donnie Klang, a white R&B singer who has a song called "Dr. Love."

Also, a quick note worth noting: I rapped all of Notorious B.I.G.'s "Big Poppa" for Capricorn on Tuesday. She was impressed, as she should be. Cause I see some ladies tonight that should be having my baby.*

Now back to the Play by Play.

:01 All the groups go on MTV's TRL, which is now hosted by two people who aren't Carson Daly. My fake TV girlfriend/Danity Kane member, Aundrea, appears, making me excited. Except Capricorn, my real girlfriend, thinks Aundrea is ugly. Minus 5 points for Capricorn.
:02 Diddy tells Danity Kane and Day 26 he's sending them on a vacation to Mexico, while Donnie stays behind to promote an album destined to end up in the $5 bin at Target.
:04 The groups arrive at their posh hotel. Aubrey looks like the third Olsen twin, but with actual weight.
:10 Donnie makes his own TRL appearance to hawk "Just a Rolling Stone," which may be a reference to his album giving listeners No Satisfaction. It's a shame, too, cause he's a nice guy. Nice guys don't sell records, though. They host TRL.
:11 Diddy pays thousands of people to be Donnie's fans for the day, or at least that's what I assume happened as Donnie does a music store appearance and teenage girls go crazy. They probably thought Justin Timberlake was showing up.
:12 Back to Mexico. Q, an oft-featured Day 26 member, refuses to swim with the dolphins. I can understand. Dolphins are one step away from being sharks. They also have sex for pleasure, which makes me wonder if they get into the same issues that people have- do dolphins have one night stands? Do they hit it and quit it?
:15 Aubrey appears without her usual pound of make-up. Somewhere, a small child whimpers.
:20 The groups celebrate Robert's 24th birthday by drinking themselves silly. Which reminds me, on my 21st birthday, I was the designated driver. True story.
:30 Aubrey and D Woods, who wears a half-mullett, go on a "Sea Trek," which is kind of like scuba diving. Aubrey wears an ill-fitting bikini for the occasion, perhaps to attract male dolphins to her cleavage. Aubrey, watch out. Dolphins hit it and quit it.
:31 Shannon, who is the lone married member of Danity Kane and who is subsequently never seen on the show because she's not whoring around, has a talk with Aundrea about the future of Danity Kane now that they wrapped up their tour. It's a portent of things to come... Stay tuned.
:40 Back in NYC, Diddy commends Day 26 and Donnie for being so successful. Then he asks them to leave the room so he can talk to Danity Kane alone.
"I'm unsure about the future of the group," Diddy says. Cue dramatic music. At this point, I literally pause the show (Tivo) and gasp as Capricorn rolls her eyes at me.
:41 Diddy reveals that Aundrea actually wanted to leave the group a couple months ago. WTH? She looks shocked he called her on that. She talks her way out of it, blaming it on outside circumstances instead of problems with the group. Now, remember, Aundrea and Aubrey are original members- they've been around an extra season of Making the Band, before Shannon, D Woods and Dawn were added. This would be like Paul McCartney leaving the Beatles. Except not nearly as dramatic or impactful or newsworthy.
:47 Diddy then calls out Aubrey for always being unsatisfied with the group. Aubrey blames it on the Olsen twins. And on management not believing in them. Diddy also says he notices Aubrey and Aundrea, former BFFs, don't talk anymore. Good point Diddy. I wondered about that.
:50 Dawn throws it out there: The group doesn't get along, and they basically just stick together for the music. My jaw has been down for 9 minutes in a row.
:56 D Woods agrees that there (Ed. Note: I used the wrong "their" originally, despite knowing grammar rules. Thanks Logarithmic for pointing out my flaws.) are cliques in the group. This is turning out to be an after school special. Love. It.
:57 Diddy gives Shannon two sentences to speak her mind, then cuts her off. She's the married one, remember?
:59 Aubrey said she feels lied to, because she heard Dawn was going solo, a fact Diddy denies. Diddy says Aubrey is out of the group because he's tired of her crap. I pause the TV again and check my heart rate. I'm also a little concerned I like this show so much. I've watched every episode since the O-Town days.

It's a cliffhanger! There's going to be a second half to the season finale, shown next week. Diddy, you got me again. Next week, it looks like Diddy is ready to clean house. Maybe he'll ask Miley Cyrus to join.

* ... Baby.