Have you ever murdered a puppy with your bare hands? How about slapped a kitten? Have you ever thrown a mouse through a garbage disposal?
If you have*, then you know the sound my dog made Saturday night.
Something is wrong with Bailey. Capricorn and I were hanging out Saturday night, watching my Tivo recording of the new Muppet Christmas special (excellent). Capricorn bumped Bailey in the back leg...
And in a sound not heard since "When Sharks Attack" on Discovery Channel's "Shark Week," Bailey let out a squelch that sent a chill through our bones. I've accidentally stepped on his tail before, and he's let out a yelp. This was different.
When I went out to bed that night, with Bailey under the covers as always, I thought everything was fine. I bumped into him at one point, and there it was again. "Yeoowwwlooungatabingbang!" There were no bumps on him, no thorns, no marks, nothing. He moved a bit, and was fine, back asleep. Every hour, for the next four hours, he would let out a battle cry that made Braveheart run in fear. At 4 a.m., completely rattled and sure Bailey had contracted some rare disease not seen since the Oregon Trail days, I took him to another room and put him in his crate for the rest of the night so as not to nudge him.
I spent 4-4:02 a.m. researching "Dog screams when I touch his rear."
After getting strange bestiality** search responses, I changed it to, "Dog yelps in pain when touched."
Evidently, he likely hurt his hip or pulled a muscle. If I don't let him jump on anything/climb any stairs for a few days, he should be fine, according to several reputable web sites/Yahoo user responses.
All Sunday morning and afternoon, Bailey didn't yelp. He peed fine, he ran fine, he sniffed the crotch of Capricorn's dog, Leo, fine. But, right before Capricorn left, Bailey lept on the couch.
We're back to bed rest for that little dude.
This must be how parents feel when their child is sick. I wonder if my mom ever accidentally stumbled on bestiality photos when researching for my aches and pains...
* P.S. You're going to hell.
** Did you know that bestiality is spelled without the "a" in beast? Who knew? Well, beside dirty pervs.
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