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Wednesday, December 17, 2008

To discuss how my mom has already locked up Top Mom honors, one door at a time

Let's face the facts.

My mom is better than your mom.

Not in loving you, not in being there for you, not in telling you it'll be fine after you fake eloped in Mexico with some d-bag with a flesh-colored beard.(Spencer continues to be the worst person on the planet. Strict Shenaniganist agrees).

Yeah, my mom doesn't know you, so she couldn't possibly be better than your mom at those things.

But there's no way your mom would do this for you:

That's right. An entire holiday door decoration, made from scratch. I mentioned to my mom during her Thanksgiving visit that there's a holiday door decorating contest at my apartment complex. Without another word from me, she said, "OK, so what are we going to do?" That very night, we got fabric and she started to assemble this masterpiece, all from the inspiration of this caroler:

If you look closely, you can see that she used a photo of my face for the carolers face.

I don't see Carol Brady pulling that off. Or Vivian Banks. Or Ellen Griswold. Even Capricorn's mom, who folded my manpants and constantly offers me food, wouldn't dare attempt this.
It's a fact. My mom has already sewn up (get it?) the Mom of the Year award.

Now all I have to do is buy her a Christmas present.

24 comments:

Áine Caitríona said...

Yeah, my mom sucks. All she did was give birth to me, let me have a puppy and forgive me for the years 2002-2007.

ANG* said...

you're right - my mom would never do this.
what's the prize?

Ben said...

Oh it's on now, little man. If you think my quote-producing, gin-drinking, boyfriend-insulting, baby-fearing, martini-shaking mother is going to come in second place to a mom who does crafty mom-like things?

You've got another thing coming.

~Sheila~ said...

Well...my mom doesn't exactly suck. She isn't making any decorations but she is cleaning my house on a weekly basis.

And....Capricorns mom constantly offers you food?
HA HA..maybe she thinks she needs to feed you so that you can grow out of those underoos and buy some real manpanties.

There are no secrets between you and her now.

SouthernBelle said...

She is a crafty genius!

Merry Xmas, Andy's Mom!

Jenners said...

Doesn't she already have the best present of all -- a son who loves he and isn't afraid to say so? Corny but true! Moms always go for that stuff. That is pretty friggin' great ... and your mom is pretty wonderful!! If you don't win the contest, I'd file a complaint with your landlord.

Also want to let you know that I'm having a giveaway at my blog ($20 Target gift card) if you want to check it out. There is also a quiz about children's books if you are intersted. The link is http://mrsfligs.blogspot.com/2008/12/award-inspiration-quiz-and-giveaway.html.

Libby said...

you are so right...there is no way my mom would do that for me. thanks for rubbing it in...*tear*

that is definitely the most awesome door decoration ever. you better make sure the present you get her is the most awesome present ever. no pressure though.

Liz said...

My mom is not Susie homemaker crafty... but my oh so generous mama did help me get my kids a Wii this Christmas & didn't tell my sister that she helped me... My mom is the friggin' best, dude... but yours is pretty special too... BTW, you are a cute caroler...

Jossie Posie said...

Wow. My mom isn't that awesome, she just makes a mean warm milk with vanilla.

Kellie said...

That is pure awesomeness. I love it!

The Logarithmic Spiral said...

Oh how wrong you are, Andy Bobby Shaw. My mom would SO do that for me...and how! Except it wouldn't be a door hanging, it would be a holiday jumper. Yes, that's right, not a dress, a JUMPER. And she would make homemade Christmas jewelry to go with it and then make matching outfits for the whole family.

This is the same woman who bought me a pink BEJEWELED cowgirl hat FROM CRACKER BARRELL for my college graduation present. God I love my mom....

PS, I'm not even kidding, she really did make me and my sister holiday jumpers when we were in grade school that were scarily similar to your door hanging. Those pictures will never be seen by anyone. I can't make this stuff up

Diane said...

You totally win. My mom's mean. And her internal censor no longer works. Not a good combo. We don't eat with her in restaurants anymore, as we're all afraid of having our food spit on.

Muffy Willowbrook said...

Wow - that IS awesome. My mom would just pour booze on my front door.

Lump said...

so when do find out if you won?

and well, it wouldn't be YOU that won... it would be YOUR MOM.

hautepocket said...

Well holy crap, that's incredible.

Sam_I_am said...

My mommy rocks too. She used to send me (and my friends) cards on halloween, thanksgiving, christmas, easter, Kwanzaa, Fat Tuesday, All Saint's Day and The Superbowl when we were in college. Another time, she sent us a pop bottle filled a letter and candy and such. So we got a "message in a bottle" so my mommy is cool too. Ask everyone from school, they'll tell you.

Amy xxoo said...

Aww, you're mum is so sweet. My mum wouldnt, nay couldnt, do that - bless her heart but she isnt that handy with a needle and thread.

But i lubs her anyway!

scargosun said...

Yeah that pretty much rules.

JenBun said...

NO ONE is better than my mom!!!

I'll fight you on this.

kisatrtle said...

That turned out great. Kudos to your mom! I hope you give her the prize.

bianca said...

oh my gosh, that's hardcore. I love it!!! You're totally going to win.

stealthnerd said...

Now that...is talent. I'll totally hand that award to your mom.

Oh, and thanks for the link love! Spencer IS the worst person on the planet!

Geiger Girl said...

wow yer mom IS incredible! I hope you won! and if you didn't then obviously somebody slipped the judge a hefty bribe!

*~Dani~* said...

My mom is not that crafty, but she does win lots of prizes and gives them to me. Ha! I win.

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