This is a strange one:
(cue ethereal music)
I'm in a bowling alley with my high school friend, D. So far, this makes sense, as I've been bowling a lot lately. D and I are having fun, bowling away. An older woman in the next lane rolls her ball down the lane, when suddenly the roof starts collapsing right above her ball. Soon, the roof is caving in on most of the alley, although only on the side where the pins are. Everyone is safe, but a bit freaked out. Strangely, there is no screaming, although I'm sure on the inside I'm screaming like a little girl inside a windowless van.
The owner appears. He's wearing a Hawaiian shirt, with copious chest hair, a large belly and a grizzled face, perhaps what Tom Selleck will look like near death. The owner is mad at all of us for letting his roof cave. We are mad at him for having a bowling center apparently built by two of the Three Pigs. He won't let anyone leave because he's afraid we'll tell the insurance company (not the police or lawyers, mind you. The insurance company. As if they wouldn't notice). There's a weird dust-covered fog rolling through the center, although somehow, not right around me. Some people appear to still be bowling despite the fact there are no pins, as pointless as Paris Hilton making albums and movies.
After I b.s. with some bystanders, D and I decide to make a run for it. We distract the owner by shouting "Fire!" and then run through a glass door- not past, through- to safety.
My next TV Play-by-Play on Wild ARS will likely be America's Next Top Model season premiere March 4. But I'm still churning them out on my reality-show centric other blog, The Real Blogger of York County... Here's a piece of today's entry, The Millionaire Matchmaker... Stop by for the rest (in the biz, that's call
Out of all the dating shows on television, only one caters to people who can actually afford a caterer: Bravo’s “The Millionaire Matchmaker.” Professional matchmaker Patti is paid a ton of money to set up a millionaire with the woman (and in this episode, the man) of his/her dreams. It’s just like my old favorite, “Blind Date,” but with more money and less tequila. Here’s the TV Play by Play of Thursday’s episode:
:01 Patti (center) has so much hair I am sure she is smuggling one of Angelina Jolie’s future babies… Patti says her belief is a woman shouldn’t move in with a guy unless “there’s a ring on that finger.” Or, unless there’s a recession and you just can’t make rent anymore on your own.
:02 During the intro credits, Patti says she’s a “third-generation matchmaker.” How do you get that family business started? Did grandma have great success filling out other girls’ dance cards?
:03 For the first time on “MM,” Patti is going to help a millionairess find love. Heidi says she’s too old, at 41, to find a date anymore. Even though she’s gorgeous. And a millionaire. Well, if she can’t find love, there’s no hope for Brett Michaels.