Tuesday, September 8, 2009

To discuss what's not funny, and what's funny

Most weekends, I give you an update on all the hilarious things that happened. But I spent the latter part of last week and Labor Day weekend* working on important relationship stuff with Capricorn.

There are a lot of things I'll joke about, but important relationship stuff is not one of them. Sure, I've made light of lots of topics of Wild ARS Chase, but I do have boundaries, most importantly my relationships to those I love.

And most people would agree there are other things off limits for blogging jokes:
  • 9/11 victims
  • Date rape
  • Death of a loved one
  • Cancer
  • Eating disorders
  • Animal/child abuse
  • Holocaust
Fortunately, there's a whole slew of other topics we can all choose from when looking for humorous inspiration. Let's give thanks for the following things we can make fun of without remorse. Feel free to use any of these as a starting off point for the week:
  • Anne Frank
  • People with funny accents
  • Third party candidates
  • Paula Abdul
  • Britney Spears
  • Britney Spears' vagina
  • Getting raped in jail
  • Porn
  • Getting raped in jail porn
  • Southerners
  • Northerners
  • Immigrants, if you ignore the fact we're all immigrants
  • Mariah Carey
  • Certain Christian sects
  • Dick Cheney
  • Any disease you can get on the Oregon Trail
  • Any STD
  • Michael Jackson (it's been long enough)
  • Meth heads
  • Your mom
  • People who shop at Wal-mart, even though you shop at Wal-mart
  • People with more than five kids
  • The Black Eyed Peas
  • Anyone with a rebel flag
  • World of Warcraft players
  • Certain Germans
  • The Portuguese, who really screwed the pooch on world domination when they had the chance
  • Televangelists
  • WWJD bracelets
  • People who think Christmas is celebrated on the day Jesus was born
  • Real World cast members
  • Customers who order a Big Mac and a Diet Coke
  • Camel toe
  • Bring It On movies
  • The Chicago Cubs and Detroit Lions
  • Churches who were offended by The Da Vinci Code
  • Middle school sex ed videos
  • Exposed thongs
  • People who add exhaust systems to make their Honda sound louder
  • Nickelback
  • Testicles, in general
* For you Canadians/Australians/Europeans, Labor Day is a day for Americans to take the day off from work so we can pat ourselves on the back for being between 45-55 percent efficient at our job when we're not using Facebook.


cavy said...

i always order a diet coke at mcdonalds, but never a big mac, so i'm not one of those people ;)

okay, i am. and i make fun of it, too. I EMBRACE IT.

Racquel Valencia said...

Ugh, I think I've made fun of ALL of these. I know I've made fun of 9/11. Like, not what actually happened but the fallout from it.

"Yee-haw! We're going to bomb the world!!"

The one time I saw Patton Oswalt's stand-up fall flat was the "wackity-smackity-doo" skit where he makes fun of the Holocaust AND 9/11 in the same 30 seconds.

"It's like they show the towers falling and you hear a voice saying 'third floor, lingerie, second floor, men's shoes...'"

I laughed. I'm a terrible person.

Shelley Malone said...

Hey, up here in Canada we have something like Labor Day too - only we call it "Labour Day." : )

Jess said...

Hope everything is alright!

And, I am one of those diet coke people, but it's only because I actually enjoy the taste of diet drinks!

BeckEye said...

Okay, you need to amend one of those. "Bring It On" movies should actually read "Bring It On" SEQUELS. Because the original is sublime. Truly.

Soda and Candy said...

Excellent lists!

Your mom!!!

Also, good luck with the relationship stuff.

: )

Miss Tiff said...

Love the lists. I always make fun of people who order a diet coke with a big mac and super sized fries.

Hope everything is alright and good luck with the relationship stuff :)

Amy xxoo said...

Britney Spears vagina - enough said.

Oh, and also, just like Shelley way up there in Canada, we Australians also have a Labour Day. Just one of many great Australian " public holidays " which allow us to sleep in and then get our drink on.

kisatrtle said...

Thanks for clearing this up for me I could have made a serious mistake. Good thing I'm working on the BS Vagina post!

Clairebear said...

We have labour day here in Oz too.
I love labour day.
You know who else loves it?.....

....Your mum.

(and there is my mum joke for the day.)

Katie said...

I'm insulted that Helen Keller isn't included in the list of laughable jokes.

Why did Helen Keller wear tight pants?

So people could read her lips.

LiLu said...

So true. I made a HILARIOUS AIDS joke last night. You just gotta embrace it.

P said...

I will be using this post as inspiration any time I am having my own dry spell in terms of genius!

siovhan said...

the facebook comment is so funny ... and so true.

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