I got asked to be the third person in a trio that does a several paid shows each year for organizations and clubs looking for entertainment. Of course, they could get cheaper entertainment by watching America's Next Top Model, but who am I to argue?
We had our first practice last night, picking songs for our show in mid-October. The show is for a womens' club full of elderly ladies... basically, my biggest fans.
Unfortunately, this meant two things:
A) I won't be able to ask for them to throw their panties at me like a rock star. No one needs to see that.
B) I won't be able to sing from the T-Pain catalog. "I'm gonna buy you a drank/Might make it that Ovaltine!"
I begrudgingly settled on what some people might consider "classics of American theater." We're doing selections primarily from "Oklahoma" and "Annie Get Your Gun," which should let me bust out some leather
The older audiences love those kind of Broadway standards, the same way Mariah Carey loves making career comebacks nobody requested.* You cater to what they want.
Since I'm always trying to prepare for the future, I thought I'd assemble some appropriate song choices for other types of audiences, trying to stick to the Broadway tunes, our group's focus.
Before I run the songs by my group, however, I thought I'd let you tell me what you think of these songs for the respective party host. That, and you guys seem to enjoy your musical-themed posts.
- Paula Abdul: "And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going," Dreamgirls
- Anyone standing next to Megan Fox at an event: "Mr. Cellophane" Chicago
- Real World cast: "Will I Lose My Dignity?" Rent
- "18 & Counting's" Duggar family: "You'll Never Walk Alone" Carousel
- Tara Reid: "I'm Just a Girl (Who Can't Say No)" Oklahoma
- Donatella Versace: "I've Grown Accustomed to Her Face" My Fair Lady
- Kim Kardashian: "The Internet Is for Porn," Avenue Q
- Kate Gosselin: "Woe Is Me," The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee
- Christina Hendricks: "When You Got It, Flaunt It" The Producers
- Brett Favre: " I Want the Good Times Back," The Little Mermaid
* See-- if you read yesterday's post, you'll know this is an appropriate joke.