Wednesday, March 3, 2010

To discuss my dog getting the veterinary equivalent of the Purple Heart

Yes, I know 16 and Preggers was on last night. I'll recap it soon, but since MTV reruns its shows like crazy, it's not as pressing to churn it out asap. Right? If you'd rather always get them the morning after, let me know ... I did do a Bachelor finale recap over here.

I hate to brag, but I don't see any of your pets with a freaking

Here's what I didn't know as recently as a month ago. You should be brushing your dog's teeth every day or they'll get gum diseases and baby Jesus cries. At least that's what I think the vet told me. All I remember is a Charlie Brownish "Waa wa waaa wa Bailey needs dental work wa waaa wa his teeth make hobos look like Ryan Seacrest wa waa wa Lucy and Peppermint Patty were lesbian trailblazers."

So yesterday, Bailey the chiweenie went in for dental surgery, or periodontal surgery as they call it in the biz. Since dogs have to undergo general anesthesia, this is a somewhat risky proposition. Compounding that, Bailey has a heart murmur that makes his heart beat sound like Missy Elliott's "Get Ur Freak On."

That means in addition to the regular costs and procedures, he needed to get extra tests done, the vet said (i.e., the vet needs a new pair of shoes). What are you going to do, say, "No, I think we should just gamble on this one. They do it on Grey's Anatomy all the time, and the worst that happens is someone bangs Izzie."

Bailey has had a long history at the vet (there's this, and this, for starters), but this was the most extreme thing he's had done. When I picked him up that afternoon, he looked so sad and pathetic I was worried Sarah McLachlan was going to try to get him sponsored.

They pulled four or five teeth- I'd tell you exactly but I haven't been able to get a good look in his mouth, as I don't want to hurt him. I do wonder why he didn't opt to get grillz. This photo is a good a look as I'll get for now, and you can tell there are gaps. On the plus side, his teeth are now much, much whiter and don't make me think of hobgoblins and the Black Plague.

The vet gave him a Certificate of Bravery for the "courage he displayed" during surgery. And by that, they mean he was out like a light and didn't bite them afterward.

But an award is an award. I'll celebrate with Bailey just as soon as he stops dabbing mouth blood on my blanket.

Total vet bill: About$ $525. I'll add it to Bailey's tab.


Heather said...

Poor little brave Bailey. That first picture really is priceless. Glad he came through okay :)

Ben said...

Awwwww poor little puddin'.

I paid effing $2,000 for December's trauma with Calvin and got no such certificate OR grillz.


Natballs said...

i didn't know you have to brush your dogs teeth?
what happened to VLOGGING?

Kellie said...

Kobe has had 3 teeth pulled. That was probably 3 years ago and he needs to go again. But thank the baby Jeebus my bill was about 1/2 of yours. Damn! Your vet likes expensive shoes!

gracie-mel said...

interestingly, Banfield (the vet inside PetSmart) keeps calling, to politely remind me that Gracie is due for "her dental."
And, luckily, its covered under her insurance plan.
now, I doubt I'll walk outta there zero balance, but hopefully it won't be too painful. for my painfully thin wallet, that is.

Sam_I_am said...

PetSmart is having a special this month for $5 teeth brushing. I'm excited, because I have enough trouble bathing my dogs, let along brushing their teeth.

Herding Cats said...

On the plus side? He could be on a Colgate commercial!

BeckEye said...

Awww, poor little guy. Love the certificate of bravery.

Anonymous said...

Hm, shouldn't they be paying you? I mean, they took his teeth after all... And instead you hand over $500+ and they return your dog with a piece of paper that costs about 8 cents.

Stupid vets.

At least the pup is better, or his mouth is anyway. Try some of those treats that are good for dog's teeth if you aren't up to brushing often.

Jenners said...

Jeez ... I didn't know you had to brush dog teeth.

I think it is adorable that he got a little certificate. Poor little guy.

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