:01 Lori is adopted, and wishes she knew who her mom is. If you would like to claim Lori on a very special "16 and Pregnant" reunion, please call Dr. Drew.
:01 Baby Daddy: It's Cory, who gets +1 bonus point for being a Pittsburgh Steelers fan. Good start, Cory. Hey, you can't do any worse than the Baby Daddy last week ... he and Lori (ooh, Lori and Cory) broke up but are still friendly, which might actually make things easier.
:02 Why does MTV try to do the big reveal thing when the girl says, "Oh, by the way, I'm pregnant," as if the show title didn't give it away?
:02 So her parents said they kinda wished Lori got an abortion, and aren't happy she and Cory don't want to consider adoption. I'd say adoption is cool if the baby goes to the same parents that got Catelynn and Tyler's kid. They can be the go-to adoption parents for this series. And then we can have a spin-off, "Brandon and Teresa plus Some Kids' Babies."
:05 So much for the Catholic thing - Lori was on birth control (she thinks antibiotics messed it up). One of her friends was surprised to find out Lori even had sex. What tipped her off, the pregnancy? Or the Catholic school girl skirt?
:06 Tonight's "16 and Pregnant" drinking game: Every time Lori's mom expresses dismay over her pregnancy (her mom just told her there is "nothing to celebrate" over her being pregnant).
:07 Drink! "It would be such a mistake for you and for this baby to bring him into this house," her mom says.
:12 The current plan: Lori and the baby move in with BD Cory and his roommate, Ashley ... because that sounds foolproof.
:13 For the first time this season, I think we have a mom on par with Farrah's mom from season 1. Lori's mom does more eye rolls, hrrumphs and condescending tones than you can shake a sonogram at. She thinks Lori can't handle this, and, although she keeps saying she's "open" to all options, she's basically saying give this baby up for adoption or I will disown you.
:17 Family friend Liz, who gave up her baby for adoption, comes by to
:18 Drink! (P.S. I swear I'm not trying to get you drunk, so maybe you should swap the vodka for some juice.) "I can tell you it's going to be a disaster," Lori's mom tells Cory on the phone. You get the sense her mom is acting like she's the one facing the life-changing decisions, not her daughter. Her brow is so furrowed it looks like a doctor Botoxed the lines in. You know, like Lynn on Real Housewives of Orange County.
:25 Brian and Jen, a.k.a. Brandon and Teresa 2.0, meet with Lori. The couple already adopted Liz's kid, Brayden (who is super cute). It helps ease Lori's mind to see they aren't psychos (that honor goes to Chelsea's boyfriend). But as soon as her mom finds out her friends want to throw a baby shower, everything goes sour. Her mom says it's ... well, it doesn't matter at this point because we're all drunk from her bitterness.
:29 Somebody got to BD Cory, because now all of a sudden he wants to go for adoption. Did Lori's mom threaten bodily harm? Anyway, that was the breaking point for Lori, who is now in tears and resigned to her fate. She's giving up this baby. Her mom tries to act like she's not ecstatic. Her dad tries to ease Lori's pain by telling her - no joke - that she's not good at life. Screw it, just drink whatever you had left.
:32 A great point by Lori: Her baby is the only blood-related family she would have, and she has to give it up.
:34 Uhhh, Brian and Jen say they "couldn't prepare for a newborn" in time and the adoption is off. What, were they surprised by the due date? ... That means Cory and Lori (Cori? Lory? Oror?) have to look at portfolios of prospective parents. Is there a Match.com thing for this? It worked to get Capricorn and me together, after all.
:43 I wish you could see Lori's doctor. She looks like Phyllis Diller. It's epic. By the way, the baby's name is Aiden. Who his adoptive parents will be, nobody knows yet, but I'm sure Steve Jobs is busy inventing iBaby to solve that.
:46 Delivery time: In a "16 and Pregnant" rarity, there isn't much drama. Baby Aiden is healthy, Lori doesn't complain, Cory shows up and stays quiet, and even Lori's mom doesn't throw lightning bolts from her ivory tower.
:51 Spoke too soon. Mom starts reminding Cory he shouldn't get used to being a dad, and Cory flips out. Lori does her best Asian Amber impression, although she looks more like an East German softball player.
:52 Cool- they have an "Adoption Ceremony" for Aiden with the unnamed couple that gets him. It's an open adoption, so Lori will get to see him again. Plus, she stayed in school, another big bonus. As "16 and Pregnant" goes, Lori did well for herself. She's the new Catelynn ... although Cory is no Tyler. Tyler is a dreamboat.