On this week's "16 and Pregnant," we get to watch a freaking C-section. The show focuses on Samantha Hernandez of Rosenberg, Texas (near Houston). If everything is bigger in Texas, Samantha is about to be in a world of hurt when her baby is being delivered.* (* I wrote that sentence before watching the episode, and as it turns out, she has a crazy delivery.) Let's get to the TV Play-by-Play...
:02 Samantha lives in a small house about to get smaller because someone is pregnant. Her mom! Nice, a double pregnancy, just like in Father of the Bride II. Let's hope Martin Short shows up.
:03 It's an epidemic ... Samantha says she and her friends used to tease the other girls in school about being pregnant, and now she's pregnant. How many pregnant girls are there? Oh man, did they make a pact? How come girls never make a pact to "Not be mean to boys" or "Not backstab each other"?
:04 "You can't prevent pregnancy," one of Samantha's friends says. And it's that kind of thinking that has made "16 and Pregnant" possible.
:05 Baby Daddy Alert: It's Eric, who goes to a neighboring high school and has yet to conquer his acne, let alone fatherhood. He wants Samantha to move in with him, like it's no big deal ... The problem is her parents already are mad at the couple for having sex at age 14 (Samantha's mom, Soledad, was pregnant with her as a teenager, hence the anxiety) and they already forced her to switch schools.
:05 Can they do an entire episode in the pencil sketch format? I'd watch that.
:07 BD Eric's mom, Estella, and Soledad aren't speaking to each other because Estella helped Eric and Samantha see each other behind Soledad's back. Dramz. So Estella doesn't come to the doctor appointment when Samantha finds out she's having a girl, who will be named Jordynn. Not to be confused with Jordache, which are vintage early 90s acid-wash jeans.
:12 OK, Samantha is all types of adorable. She tells her mom she's really scared about the pregnancy. Her mom, who has been in that same position before, consoles her. Soledad is definitely one of the most supportive moms on this show so far.
:13 You know you're too young for a kid when... 1) You share a room with your brother 2) You have a giant stuffed animal by your bed 3) You are figuring out what to wear for your first day of senior year.
:17 Samantha tells her mom and her dad (they are separated) about her idea to move in with BD Eric. Her dad says she'll probably get pregnant again, and her mom points out she won't be visiting as long as Eric's mom is there. Solid points. Maybe they'll let Samantha move in for "Teen Mom." There will be another season of "Teen Mom," right?
:25 Estella and Soledad agree to come to a family dinner together. At first, nobody speaks. Eye daggers are exchanged. Fortunately, Soledad breaks the ice and starts talking ... about Eric and Samantha having sex. Phew. That would have been awkward. But at least the moms make up.
:31 Samantha to her mom: "One of the babies is going to be calling you grandma, and the other one is going to be calling you mom." Good point. Oh, and Soledad's granddaughter will be older than her child. And Samantha's daughter will grow up being the older one to her aunt or uncle. Got that?
:34 Samantha is either auditioning for Texas Chainsaw Massacre or having intense labor pains. She is the loudest screamer of any "16aP" girl so far, partly because her baby's head is pushing on her back (called "back labor," giving new sense to the song, "Baby Got Back"). If this doesn't stop teenage girls from having sex, I don't know what will. You can watch her on this video.
:41 Holy sweet mother of God, MTV is showing the C-section.
:41.30 Give me a second. That was crazy.
:42 OK, I'm better. That was intense. Baby Jordynn is healthy. And, I might add, BD Eric was extremely supportive the entire time. And I might further add that Jordynn has a ridiculous amount of hair.
:49 Samantha realizes it's really tough to take care of a baby while Eric works and goes to school. I'm not sure how else she thought it would go ... of course, Eric makes a classic BD mistake when he says, "She's a month (old). It can't be that bad."
:57 Good for Samantha for returning to school. But she still wants Eric to help with the baby more. All in all, it's the least drama between the mom and dad on this series I've seen. Who do they think they are? Mature responsible adults or something?
For anyone interested in "America's Next Top Model" recaps, by the way, I've been posting them over at my reality show blog, ydblogz.com/realblogger. There will be one up tomorrow.
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