Crazy. It's Sexy. It's Cool. It's "Creep," by TLC.
Flashback:
It's fall of 1994. I've just entered sixth grade, where suddenly all the boys are much taller than me, and suddenly girls chests have bumps on them. Bumps I want to touch, although I'm not sure why or what I'd do with them. They look... comfortable. Now, back in time:
I can't imagine there will ever be a day when I DON'T love Ace of Base. (Singing to myself) "I saw the sign, and it opened up my..." hmm. This is a new sound, what's this group? TLC? Like, Tender Loving Care? Sounds a little silly... but dude, those are some sexy ladies in those silk pajamas. Well, as far as I can tell as a pre-pubescent boy, at least.
I'm not sure what "Creep" means, but I want to keep it on the down low, too! (As soon as I figure out what down low means) This sure sounds different than Ace of Base. It sounds more like that Aaliyah girl. Hey, maybe TLC will have the same kind of future!*
I need to know more about these girls. I'd do an Internet search, but there's no easy way to search for information yet...AOL just isn't that good. But man, this 25k modem is a lot faster than the 16k! What did I ever do before instant messaging? Well, I played Oregon Trail and Space Quark. But before that? Who knows!
Well, according to MTV, TLC stands for T-Boz, Left Eye and Chili. Tionne "T-Boz" Watkins has a voice lower than mine. Should I be concerned? No... I guess not. Everyone has a higher voice than me. I'm in 6th grade and have the testosterone of a fixed chihuahua.** She seems cool, though, and trendy.
That Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes girl seems a little crazy, like she's going to light someone's house on fire or something. I'm not sure what her role is, though. She doesn't really sing. She raps. In a squeaky voice.
And then there's Rozonda "Chili" Thomas. She's definitely sexy. I can see big things happening in her career. Maybe she'll date and then break up with a famous R&B star!
"Creep" is such a good song, I'm going to run out and buy their "CrazySexyCool" cassette. Hmm... this one song is about water and rivers and stuff. If only I was older, I'd better understand the references to AIDS and gang violence. But, for now, I'll just appreciate that awesome music video with the dancing waterized version of the group.
And this "Red Light Special" song sounds so cool, I'm going to blast it from my stereo. Why is my mom giving me such weird looks? It's a great song, about dancing with people under a disco light or something. Rad!
Other Billboard top songs of 1994:
The Sign, Ace Of Base
I Swear, All-4-One
I’ll Make Love To You, Boyz II Men
4. The Power Of Love, Celine Dion
5. Hero, Mariah Carey
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* It's sad when foreshadowing is correct, but only because of tragic death.
** It's sad when foreshadowing is correct, but only because you end up owning a fixed chihuahua. Who humps things anyway.
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