To discuss a DirecT(v) Swing and a Miss

The mint mask-covered face sums up several things:
1) I was surprised by what happened to me Sunday
2) I had time to do a facial, when I thought I would be busy with TV stuff
3) I'm losing my heterosexual credibility, but I swear, it was just one time because I was bored.

Last week, we all talked about whether I should dump my Comcast cable TV service, and get DirecTV, which would save me some money, get me HD, and screw over the evil cable company, but would also be a hassle and lock me into a two-year contract.

I weighed the pros and cons you all laid out. I did hours of my own research -- and I mean hours, too. I get hardcore into researching and debating major decisions, not unlike a psychotic person.

I decided to switch to DirecTV.

It almost didn't happen. Saturday night, I found out I had a 1-year contract with my Tivo DVR service, even though I was paying month-to-month after a previous contract ran out. That was going to make things more complicated, since I was getting a free HD DVR from DirecTV, but, sure, what the heck, let's stick with the plan.

Here's what happened Sunday:

7:55 A.M. DirecTV Dude calls to say he's almost there. I'm half-asleep and amazed that the 8 a.m.-12 p.m. window actually included arriving around 8, not the 3 p.m. you come to expect.
8:05 a.m. DirecTV Dude walks through my apartment to the back porch area, where, by my rental agreement, the dish needs to go.
8:05:30 a.m. Seconds later, after pointing his doo-hicky, he says there is no line of sight to the Southern sky or the Goddess of Rain or some business. The guy living on the second floor above me has DirecTV, but his dish points over the roof. Mine could only point at the building, basically. And with limited options allowed by my rental company, there was no other place to put the dish.
8:06 a.m. DirecTV Dude says, "So, I guess you're staying with cable."
8:07 a.m. I close the door on the dude, and look over to my right. That's where there is a mess of wires and a gaping hole where my Tivo and cable box were Saturday night, until I spent 20 minutes unhooking everything.
8:10 a.m. Call Capricorn. She later tells me she felt terrible for me because I sounded like someone kicked my puppy. My high-definition puppy.
10:30 a.m. Go to Best Buy just to look at the HDTVs they have hooked up. Consider stabbing a TV with a knife. Think better of it. Stab an employee in the face instead. Geek Squad scurries to stop the bleeding.
11:00 a.m. Spend the next couple of hours putting back together everything I had taken apart in two rooms. Considering I'm a bit of an A/V guy and I have a Tivo, audio/video receiver, the cable box and a bunch of speakers, there are more wires than in Lady Gaga's red carpet Grammy dress.
2 p.m. Exfoliated
3 p.m. Fortunately, I hadn't canceled Comcast just yet. I call them and say I'm, uh, having DirecTV come over later this week and this is their last chance to keep me (essentially, Comcast had become my back-up prom date). They respond by giving me 80 extra channels and faster Internet for the next 6 months for about $30 a month less than what I already pay for a lower package. After that, I can just go back to the lower package to avoid a major rate increase.

So after all of that, I'm back with cable. All considering, I still saved money, and better appreciated what I already have. I just feel bad about the guy I stabbed.
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Heads up for later this week: I've got a few guest posters lined up to help celebrate my birthday, which is on Saturday, although it is celebrated as a federal holiday on the following Monday (schools and post offices will be closed). I think you'll love what they've written. There's not a Jersey Shore reference or a terrible Anne Frank joke in them, so we're already doing better than most of my stuff.

One other thing: I'm trying to be better about responding to comments by e-mail, so if you want to hear back from me, include your e-mail address when you comment.

Otherwise, to track you down I have to resort to climbing up the tree near your window and watching you get ready in the morning. Oh, and don't wear that striped shirt. No, the one in your left hand.

To discuss the cable pact: Should I put Comcast up for adoption?

While watching Lifetime's "The Pregnancy Pact" on Saturday night...

... shut up, you so watched it and were all like, "OMG" and "WTF?" too. It was like Teen Mom: Pinky Swear Edition...

.... anyway, while watching the movie, one of the girls tells her friend, who just had a baby in recent months, that maybe she should consider adoption. I had never thought about the fact you don't have to give the kid up for adoption straight out of the womb, but Capricorn reminded me you can give a kid up for adoption as long as they are still a minor.

Holy crap, if I don't like my kid or he's getting too expensive, I can trade him in? Incredible news!

Speaking of which, cable TV.

(Sorry for those who wanted a teen mother post. Perhaps try this.)

I need some advice. I am strongly considering canceling my cable TV service with Comcast, aka Satan's Placenta, and switching to DirectTV. I still have to keep Comcast for the Internet, as there aren't many other, comparable options, and by comparable, I don't mean something that will harken back to the days of "You've Got Mail," "56k" and "cybering."

I'll lose the bundle package deal by leaving, although I already figured out a way to get the Internet bill lowered some to offset the difference.

I'd like to leave Comcast cable for a variety of reasons, including its jacked up cost, the fact it's a monopoly, and its so-so performance. And that it hates freedom.

Direct TV offers a sweet 1-year deal, and in the second year of the two-year contract, the price is about what I pay now with Comcast. But that includes HD and DVR services. For the first time, I could have HD, which will make it much easier to point out flaws in the Real Housewives' complexions (Zit! Wrinkle! Frigid bitch!). And I'd get a free HD DVR receiver. And a $100 debit card. And a BJ.* (* Bought with the debit card.)

But I've never used satellite before, and like all unfamiliar things, I get a little xenophobic. So, dear reader, can you tell me if you've used Direct TV, and any pluses/minuses you've experienced? If you have horror stories with cable companies or satellite companies, please share. If you have horror stories from teen pregnancy, well, you can share those, too.

For the dish installation, I'm supposed to have an unobstructed view of the southern sky, which sounds like either Jodie Foster dialogue from "Contact," or something a nerdy nerd would worry about. Since I'm a nerdy nerd, I'm wondering if I should be worried that I won't have a completely unobstructed view (partially blocked by our housing complex); several neighbors have Direct TV, albeit with better views. Maybe I should just go to their house.