To discuss a TV Play by Play: Teen Mom is trying to stay out of jail

There was such a good response to last week's Teen Mom TV play-by-play, I couldn't resist doing one for this week. This show is like crack. Sweet, sweet crack. Here we go:

:02 Poor Butch got a cut across the face from fighting with his wife. Or, in other words, Tyler's dad got in a fight with Tyler's step-mom, who is Catelynn's mom. When daddy and mommy fight, Tyler and Catelynn can't really choose sides.
:03 Farrah announced she's "taking a break from dating" so she can concentrate on being a mom. Show of hands: How many people believe this will last through the season? Through the episode? Through this sentence?
:04 Maci and Ryan win the award again, as always, for most awkward situations. This time, it's for getting relationship advice from both their parents at dinner ... P.S. I'm afraid Ryan is a mute. He doesn't seem to be able to form sentences.
:10 Kudos to Amber for going for her GED, for losing weight and for busting out her sad Asian face this episode.
:14 Ryan's dad wants him to be a truck driver? Perfect! He can chew tobacco, not talk to anyone, wear hats, not be around his baby, and avoid his girlfriend. That's like his dream scenario.
:15 This is the longest Butch has been out of jail. How is it possible Tyler is so well-adjusted? Well, other than impregnating his step-sister.
:20 I will not be a patron at the Sophia and Farrah restaurant. I'd be afraid Farrah will decide mid-meal that she would rather go on a date, and make her mom cook. And that the restaurant would be called "Mom, You're Such a Bitch!"
:21 A trucker can make $900 a week, be home on weekends and, most importantly, get to pull that string to blow their horn?! I'm in the wrong profession ... that sounds great! Shebamzee! Oh wait... Ryan hates the idea. "Would you sacrifice for him?" the guy asks. "Yes," Ryan says. "Then what's the problem?" That's a very good question. My guess is he's worried they'll force him to speak two-plus syllable sentences on the CB radio.
:28 I hope this series is on long enough so that the babies are old enough to talk. I'd love to here Baby Bentley or Baby Sophia talk about life with their parents. "Get meez outta here!" "Deez people r crazzee!" (For some reason, I imagine them with crazy Russian accents)
:29 Catelynn and Tyler's baby's name is Carly, so step forward whoever won the betting pool on that one. I had $10 on "Butcharina"
:31 Amber doesn't want her kid in daycare. Yep, cause that's what would mess Leah up in her life. But Amber is going to do it anyway, since she's out of options. I have a feeling Leah would appreciate just being left alone in the house with a bottle of Courvoisier and film footage of Carly at home with her adopted parents. "What could have been, what could have been," Carly would say. Oops, I mean, "What cood huz bin..."
:38 Farrah has Sophia attached to her like a homeless, hungover kangaroo.
:40 Maci meets with her relationship counselor on her own. The counselor says Maci should think of one nice thing to do for Ryan. She should buy him a trucker hat!
:44 Leah is already flirting with another boy at daycare. Watch out, Leah. That's how Mommy got in trouble.
:51 Chances Butch will stay out of jail before the season ends = Chances Ryan will become the national poet laureate
:54 Amber, I would not leave my baby with the girl with half-cornrows. She looks like she just got out of the slammer and is somebody's bitch.
:55 Ryan's smiling? Ryan's saying complete sentences? Who is that kid? Give me back old Ryan! He was comedy gold!