Wednesday, January 13, 2010

To discuss a TV Play by Play: Teen Mom is trying to stay out of jail

There was such a good response to last week's Teen Mom TV play-by-play, I couldn't resist doing one for this week. This show is like crack. Sweet, sweet crack. Here we go:

:02 Poor Butch got a cut across the face from fighting with his wife. Or, in other words, Tyler's dad got in a fight with Tyler's step-mom, who is Catelynn's mom. When daddy and mommy fight, Tyler and Catelynn can't really choose sides.
:03 Farrah announced she's "taking a break from dating" so she can concentrate on being a mom. Show of hands: How many people believe this will last through the season? Through the episode? Through this sentence?
:04 Maci and Ryan win the award again, as always, for most awkward situations. This time, it's for getting relationship advice from both their parents at dinner ... P.S. I'm afraid Ryan is a mute. He doesn't seem to be able to form sentences.
:10 Kudos to Amber for going for her GED, for losing weight and for busting out her sad Asian face this episode.
:14 Ryan's dad wants him to be a truck driver? Perfect! He can chew tobacco, not talk to anyone, wear hats, not be around his baby, and avoid his girlfriend. That's like his dream scenario.
:15 This is the longest Butch has been out of jail. How is it possible Tyler is so well-adjusted? Well, other than impregnating his step-sister.
:20 I will not be a patron at the Sophia and Farrah restaurant. I'd be afraid Farrah will decide mid-meal that she would rather go on a date, and make her mom cook. And that the restaurant would be called "Mom, You're Such a Bitch!"
:21 A trucker can make $900 a week, be home on weekends and, most importantly, get to pull that string to blow their horn?! I'm in the wrong profession ... that sounds great! Shebamzee! Oh wait... Ryan hates the idea. "Would you sacrifice for him?" the guy asks. "Yes," Ryan says. "Then what's the problem?" That's a very good question. My guess is he's worried they'll force him to speak two-plus syllable sentences on the CB radio.
:28 I hope this series is on long enough so that the babies are old enough to talk. I'd love to here Baby Bentley or Baby Sophia talk about life with their parents. "Get meez outta here!" "Deez people r crazzee!" (For some reason, I imagine them with crazy Russian accents)
:29 Catelynn and Tyler's baby's name is Carly, so step forward whoever won the betting pool on that one. I had $10 on "Butcharina"
:31 Amber doesn't want her kid in daycare. Yep, cause that's what would mess Leah up in her life. But Amber is going to do it anyway, since she's out of options. I have a feeling Leah would appreciate just being left alone in the house with a bottle of Courvoisier and film footage of Carly at home with her adopted parents. "What could have been, what could have been," Carly would say. Oops, I mean, "What cood huz bin..."
:38 Farrah has Sophia attached to her like a homeless, hungover kangaroo.
:40 Maci meets with her relationship counselor on her own. The counselor says Maci should think of one nice thing to do for Ryan. She should buy him a trucker hat!
:44 Leah is already flirting with another boy at daycare. Watch out, Leah. That's how Mommy got in trouble.
:51 Chances Butch will stay out of jail before the season ends = Chances Ryan will become the national poet laureate
:54 Amber, I would not leave my baby with the girl with half-cornrows. She looks like she just got out of the slammer and is somebody's bitch.
:55 Ryan's smiling? Ryan's saying complete sentences? Who is that kid? Give me back old Ryan! He was comedy gold!


Children of the 90s said...

I don't know why, but I can't seem to turn off this show--it's oddly fascinating. I love all of your comments about Maci and Ryan, they're so true. I too think he would make a stellar truck driver.

Kellie said...

This is my favorite:
Farrah has Sophia attached to her like a homeless, hungover kangaroo.

I still have not seen this yet but need to ASAP, obviously.

Deborah said...

Am I the only one seeing poor Sophia becoming a bitter tool in a custody battle between Farrah and her parents? Farrah's in mommy mode right now, but once the next Shaq comes along and gives her the eye it's right back to "I wish my parents would stop telling me to be a better mom!"

GingerMandy said...

lose the hat if you can't drive the truck!

also, tyler and catelynn go to my high school and live a few miles away from me, them and butch are the perfect pictorial of typical people from this town. the show kind of depicts them to be good kids, and tyler actually is (my sister got in trouble for holding hands with him in 3rd grade) but catelynn is kind of a turbo bitch.

this is our typical small town gossip. haha.

and i feel sad that my dating life is nowhere near as adventurous as farrah's.

DSS said...

Hi! I'm a new follower and absolutely love your Teen Mom TV Play by Plays. Please keep 'em coming! This show is beyond fabulously entertaining. Sad for the babies, of course, but good for me...

BeckEye said...

This is a real show? SRSLY? People tell me I watch a lot of TV, but I've never heard of this.

Natballs said...

haha, love it! Thanks for another Teen Mom post!
I was watching religiously last night and, yes, Amber did indeed bust out the Asian face, which you described only too perfectly in your last Play by Play. She lost weight though? I must be missing something.

and GingerMandy, you go to school with Tyler and Catelyn? And she is a turbo bitch?! Crazy. Never woulda thought. Has she ever got her tongue caught in her braces?

Andy said...

90s- I think he'd be truck driver of the year. And I'm jealous of that- those guys make good money.
Kellie- Please plan next Tuesday accordingly.
Deborah- I can definitely see that happening, if it hasn't already
Ginger- Holy cow, you know them? Glad to hear Tyler is really a good guy. I can see Catelynn not coming off well.
DSS- Hey, thanks DSS. Come back next Wed. Or every day, really.
Beck- Please come back once you've removed yourself from the giant rock you've been under.
Balls- Amber is shaping up, now that she's single and ready to mingle.

Jess said...

I was trying to figure out all of last night's episode what the heck was going on with Ryan's mouth. Thanks for the information..tobacco! Of course! How could I not have realized it?! I really cannot get enough of this ridiculous show.

Herding Cats said...

How did I miss this episode? Well, that's what reruns are for. Good recap!

Gabby said...

"Her sad Asian face" = LOLOLOLOL!

This post just made my night.

Martinis or Diaper Genies? said...

I don't watch this. clearly I really need to.

Anonymous said...

Something about this vapid, horrible show is terribly entrancing at the same time.

And I like that Google put an organic baby formula ad on your post, ha.

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