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Tuesday, April 21, 2009

To discuss As Seen on TV: Snuggie review for the ages

This is the final entry to last week's "As Seen on TV Week," full of product reviews, news and other stories of our favorite As Seen on TV products. Check here for a PediPaws , ShamWow, and Hercules Hooks reviews...

When I first saw an advertisement for Snuggie, I couldn't believe my eyes. A blanket with sleeves, for $20, plus $8 shipping? That's an actual product? If this is the American ingenuity President Obama is referring to, we might be in this recession longer than predicted.

But it is just interesting enough that you want to wear it once, no matter how goofy it looks-- kind of like Crocs, ascots or baby seal skins. Just kidding. Dead baby seals don't look goofy. They look great! Just kidding, PETA. I wouldn't kill the baby seal before I wore it.

Now, I didn't actually own a Snuggie, so I called up my momz. This was the conversation:
Me: "Hey, momz, you own a Snuggie, right?"
Momz: "Yes, why?"
Me: "Can you, um, mail it to me?"
Momz: "Sure... but why do you need a Snuggie mailed to you?"
Me: "I'd like to take photos of myself wearing it around town."
Momz: (Silence) "Yeah, sure, I'll send it."

Just to be clear, I washed the Snuggie before returning it. I'm a good son. Here's the rundown of what your life could be like with a Snuggie:

Snuggie at the office: What better way to keep cozy at the cubicle than by wearing a Snuggie? Just don't try to use your hands, because the giant, oversized sleeves will make your arms into blue flippers. When they said one size fits all, the "one" must have been a blue whale who swallowed all the other customers.
Snuggie in the bathroom: After hours of wearing your Snuggie on your couch and drinking topbottom shelf tequila alone, you'll undoubtedly need to urinate. That is the exact time you'll find out Snuggie engineers didn't install a crotch flap for doing No. 1. No. 2, on the other hand, is doable, but your Snuggie would be all across the toilet and you'll likely flush your sleeve.
Snuggie modeling: There's no reason you can't look your best in a Snuggie, even if it fits you like a feed sack. Just look at how sexy I look. I don't Beyonce's ready for my Snuggie Jelly!
Snuggie pimping: There's a certain swagger that comes with wearing America's finest shirt blanket. Toss one on before you head out for a night on the town, and you might find someone snuggling up to your Snuggie. If you thought a skirt offered easy access, just trying grinding with a guy while you're wearing, essentially, a fleece hospital gown. Score!
Snuggie gangs: But Snuggies can also help you with your street cred. You'd be awash in Crip blue, or, if they kick you out because you look like a $#%&@ fairy, you could start your own rival gang. You could become known for being all shady-like, and having the warmth to stay out all night on the streets.
Snuggie superhero: In the event that you want to fight for good instead of evil, use the Snuggie to make your own Bat Signal. Bad ass!
Snuggie monk: Give your outfit a reverential boost; add a hood to complete the effect. Feel the warmth of the Spirit... the spirit of Snuggie!Snuggie cooking: Yeah, don't do this. That's an open flame and a loose sleeve. Snuggie bullfighting: There are few things more manly than fighting a freaking bull. But why sacrifice warmth while out in the arena getting your bull on? Keep your body comfortable, while flailing the Snuggie in the air. Use a red Snuggie for that extra element of danger.
Snuggie for pets: This would probably work better with a normal-sized dog, as the Snuggie people did not foresee the marketing potential of Snuggies for chiweenies. Bailey did not seem impressed.

--------------------------------
Special thanks to coworker Hannah for taking several photos of me (there's a few bonus shots on her blog). Extra thanks to Bailey for letting me take photos of him throughout infomercial week.

42 comments:

gracie-mel said...

I've been breathlessly waiting all week, and it's even better than i'd hoped for!!!

Ben said...

Oh my - the photos were truly an epic work to be remembered!

Srg said...

That was freaking histerical!

Racquel Valencia said...

Hahahaha *wipes tears*

This was hysterical, but I hate the Snuggie like poison. There. I said it. It wasn't enough for North Americans to trot around wearing pyjama pants in place of real pants, now it's socially acceptable to actually WEAR A BLANKET?!? And I don't care if it's just in the comfort of your own home. It's still shlubby.

Cadence said...

Oh.
My.
God.

kk said...

Did you perchance make it to the Snuggie bar crawls that have been happening around the East Coast?

Snuggies + Beer Goggles = fleecy fun

Finger Talks said...

holy goat nipples batman! this was beyond my wildest dreams!
i am just so proud. snif.
and the pictures... masterful! i do have one request... could we add a small bow tie and have a masquerading penguin gang?

Andy said...

Mel- Please start breathing.
Ben- I plan on giving this to the Louvre.
SRG- Thanks... I was trying to avoid "WTF was that?" so this is a good response.
Racquel- We are lazy slobs. What do you want from us? We already gave the world burgers, baseball and fear mongering.
Cadence- God appreciates Snuggies, too.
KK- Are you kidding me? That sounds like a good time wrapped up in Snuggie.

Jan @ Struck by Serendipity said...

Awesome post.

It almost inspired me to buy my own to take out on the town.

What? You wouldn't want to start up a conversation with a girl wearing a snuggie?

Darn.

pink~leopard~print said...

Too funny! I still really want a Snuggie even after all that!

amindinmotown said...

And I thought I had way too much time on my hands...

Diane said...

You are insane, my friend. In the best possible way, true, but friggin' insane.

Snuggie gangs made me snort.

LBluca77 said...

HAHA This was awesome. I love all the pics but Snuggie superhero might be my favorite. I see a movie in your future with you and the snuggie solving crimes and helping little old ladies.

Nyxmyst said...

Andy - Kk was so not kidding.

Check out: http://www.snuggiepubcrawls.com/

There's also, apparently, a facebook page for snuggie 'events'. Dear. Gods.

Jess said...

All I can really say is - thank you.

TishTash said...

You smiled with your eyes. Tyra would be so proud.

Heather said...

Holy hell, Andy - that was the funniest thing I've seen all week (it's only Tuesday... so you still have time to out-do yourself)
The pictures were great.. I totally want a Snuggie now. But only because I want to start my own gang.

Soda and Candy said...

This entire post is made of WIN.

Love it.

My favorite bits: Snuggie modelling, pimping & bullfighting.

Also, please don't cook in your Snuggie ever again. They are 100% man-made fibers - I guarantee they go up like fleecy napalm.

Jeremy said...

I'm so dismayed! On the Snuggie infomercial, they make it look like such a chore to answer the phone while using a blanket, but it appears the Snuggie doesn't make it any easier. That's really the only reason I wanted a Snuggie. {sigh...}

Awesome post, by the way.

Children of the Nineties said...

Absolutely hilarious. As if the world did not already perceive America as the laziest nation on earth, we had to go and invent a blanket with sleeves.

LiLu said...

You blew my Snuggie review away... I definitely didn't have the cajones to take it outside!

http://www.livitluvit.com/2009/02/one-in-which-i-am-officially-biggest.html

Andy said...

Jan- Thanks for stopping by. And yes, I'd start a conversation with a girl in the Snuggie.
Pink- Just don't cook in one. Promise me.
Motown- I actually don't have too much time on my hands- that's what makes this sad.
Diane- One of the nicest things you've said about me.
Bluca- Then we could cuddle up in a Snuggie like at the end of The Notebook and die a Snuggie death while Snuggling.
Nyx- I'm speechless.
Jess- You are most welcome.
Tish- I know, right? I actually tried to do that. I'm so fierce.
Heather- Wow, thanks. And can I be in your gang?
Soda- Woohoo! Usually, my posts are epic FAIL.
Jeremy- Snuggies are full of disappointment. And warmth.

Herding Cats said...

This post made me endlessly happy...

kk said...

Andy – check it:

http://chicago.metromix.com/bars-and-clubs/photogallery/photos-snuggie-pub-crawl/1109559/content

Amy xxoo said...

Snuggie Bat Signal = totally bad ass!

Again, Australia is so missing out on the Snuggie revolution...

Kellie said...

Those photos are GREAT! I'm going to Bed Bath & Beyond and buying a Snuggie. That's right! They have them there! So no shipping!!! :)

Then I can participate in the next Snuggie Bar Crawl. I was at one a few weeks ago but unfortunately I was Snuggieless. I cried a little.

Heather said...

Duh, Andy. Of course you can be in my gang.

BeckEye said...

They just had a Snuggie pub crawl here in NYC last weekend and I missed it. Because, sadly, I do not own a Snuggie.

p.huong said...

If Bex is up for it, I'd get her to buy a Snuggie with me so we can find out other uses for it. The Bat Signal was great.

bianca said...

There was a snuggie pub crawl in San Francisco a month ago. 2 of my friends went. People were allowed to decorate or alter their snuggies as long as it was once an original snuggie. Imagine a massive group of twenty-somethings running from bar to bar drinking long island iced teas while wearing a snuggie. Out of control.

~Sheila~ said...

So?????.....

How did the Snuggie feel on your Man-Parts?
Cause you know I was thinking about getting me a snuggie and walking around naked but now I can save my money if it's not worth it.

Love the snuggie photos.
So versatile.

Andy said...

Cats- I'm glad I could bring some Snuggie sunshine to your day
KK- I can't believe the numbers of all the attractive people in those photos
Amy- For $19.95, YOU could start the revolution
Kellie- You must have felt naked without one...
Heather- Sweet!
BeckEye- I'm starting to think Snuggie people are exclusionists
P.- I am SURE she'd be up for it. It's Bex, after all.
Bianca- A sea of Snuggies. Too much for one place.
Sheila- Like the soft caress of a woman. If the woman was a blanket with sleeves.

Sam_I_am said...

We actually registered at Target for a pair of Snuggies, since you know, we can't afford to keep the house above 60 in the wintertime. I'm sure my pets would appreciate snuggies then too. It should work. I think the cat is bigger than Bailey.

Nyxmyst said...

Now I almost kinda want a snuggie...

Of course, it'll be 94 degrees here today so I might wanna wait..

Muffy Willowbrook said...

Holy Comments! HA!

There was a Snuggie Pub Crawl in my town last weekend. It was a big hit.

And cooking in the Snuggie? You better check that it's Flame Retardant!

PorkStar said...

LMFAO... hilarious pics!

Tia said...

hysterical.

seriously.

alexis said...

This was a great post!

kisatrtle said...

I'm speechless

Jenners said...

Oh My Gosh...this was even better than I thought it would be. Sheer genius.

hautepocket said...

You have gone above and beyond anything I ever thought possible. I think I'm in love.

Anonymous said...

They have them for dogs now.
https://www.snuggiefordogs.com/flare/next

Amazing post.

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