To discuss a TV Play by Play: 16 and Pregnant - Nikkole

Now that "16 and Pregnant" is in its second season, I wonder if tons of girls were itching to get on this show to get the 15 minutes of fame and a lucrative diaper deal. Hey, maybe they got pregnant BECAUSE they wanted to be on "16 and Pregnant." Conspiracy theory!

This is the second episode (sorry I missed last week), featuring Nikkole, from Monroe, Michigan. Let's get to it...

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:01 Nikkole says she is 15. That disqualifies her from "16 and Pregnant" and enters her into "It's Getting Creepier How I'm This Young and Pregnant"

:04 Baby daddy: Josh. Now that we've been through "Teen Mom" and 16AP, we know that the success of entertainment lies as much on the baby daddys (Gary XOXO/Ryan bleh) as it does the moms. Josh knocked up Nikkole because they weren't using a condom, and he promised to "pull out" and didn't. That sounded like such a foolproof plan, I can't believe it didn't work.

:05 Baby's momma's momma: Rikki. She already looks fabulous, if this was a 1986 Guns n Roses video. "They look at the mom, and they say, how'd you let that happen?" Rikki says in a heart-to-heart-to-still-developing-heart talk. Rikki, Nikkole is a big girl. She's an adult now, capable of making mature, responsi ... Oh crap.

:06 Nikkole hopes Josh will stop dating another girl and come back to her. She seems way too young and naive to be having a baby. Didn't she watch Whitney's episode last year?

:06 BD update: Josh already got expelled from school. It's the first day! Do we have another Ryan on our hands? Check his mouth for chewing tobacco and mumbled apologies, pronto.

:11 BD update: "Instead of running, I have to face it like a man" Josh says while his hand rests on his smooth-as-a-baby cheek.

:13 It should be noted Nikkole has strong family support, and Josh's mom seems behind him. That is already a much, much better situation than many of the other girls. And yet, it seems naive of Nikkole to say she believes she's going to finish high school and then go to the University of Toledo. Amber= dropped out, couldn't keep up with her GED. Maci= dropped out of all of her online classes. Farrah= dropped out of reality.

:19 In the past few minutes, Josh has scoffed at his pregnant girlfriend for wanting emotional support during her doctor's visit, called her best friend Becca a bitch, and demanded Nikkole come to a football game without even a thought of how she might feel being stared at in the bleachers. Becca calls out Nikkole for being Josh's "puppy dog." Nikkole stands up for herself by staring blankly. Don't fault her, though. It's hard for her to see past the mascara.

:26 She's going to homecoming, which is a nice, normal thing for a teen to do. Good for her ... that is until she goes out to the parking lot to meet Josh (remember, he's expelled, so he can't attend school functions). Josh not only isn't there, he won't answer her calls, and then when he does, he says he can't hang out. Ladies and gentleman, it's our Ryan for Season 2!

:28 I may have a heart of coal, but even I thought it was both heartbreaking and yet touching to watch Nikkole, pregnant, in her homecoming dress and home early because of her jerk boyfriend, playing Rock Band with her little brother.

:33 Delivery time They are inducing labor, probably because this show is only an hour and they need to speed things up ... Josh is there, which is a surprise. Not a surprise: He's being a jerk again, asking her why she's "so tired" and then telling her "You're on your own dude" and how guys have a higher pain tolerance. WTF, Josh. You're making guys look bad. Why don't you go get another porcupine hair cut and leave her alone.

:37 BD update: Now Josh is telling Rikki to be quiet and threatens to leave. Josh's mom tells him he's an "ass" and "She's in labor so you shut your mouth and act like a grown person." Ah, I like her.

:38 27 hours into labor, it's time to push. What, was the baby taking a nap in there? My guess is Baby Lyle realized his dad was Josh, and decided to stay inside until a paternity test could be done.

:44Back home, Nikkole is disgusted by Lyle throwing up. I'd tell you more, but I was distracted by the leopard skin, head and tail included, nailed on the wall. And I thought Farrah's mom's nutcracker collection was bad.

45"They had to cut my crotch open to get him out," Nikkole tells her friend. Annnndddd TMI.

:46 Drinking game this episode: Every time Josh blames someone else for his actions. Every time you spot a leopard print. Every time Nikkole gives Josh another chance.

:51 Drink up! Nikkole just gave Josh another chance, even after he said he's not apologizing to Rikki for being a little bitch. Then he tells Rikki being disrespectful "is just how I am" and he won't change. And he says he knows he's No. 1 in Nikkole's life, not her mom. Unless he needs a ride, and then could you drive him home?

:53 Nikkole can't understand why her mom isn't cool with Josh. She's so young and naive (that should be her T-shirt slogan) that she can't see her mom is supporting her, and Josh is being completely selfish. Oh, and he's also cheating on her. This should make good drama for Teen Mom.

:57 Josh can't believe Nikkole isn't down for his "let be bang other girls and then keep my baby mama on the side" plan, and breaks up with her. That plan was gold! Not gold: Who is this silly girl he's cheating with that would want a guy who already knocked up another girl and is so selfish that it's infuriating? It's not Maci, is it? Stay away, Maci! We know you like the bad boys, but c'mon.