Tuesday, March 10, 2009

To discuss a photo challenge that I just killed

My new blog friend Cavy tagged me. If this was first grade, I'd assume that would mean she likes me and is giggling in the corner with other girls. Since we're both adults now and this was on her blog, I assumed she meant she wanted me to do her photo challenge.*
Here's my entry**:
And here's the story behind it:
When Capricorn first saw this photo, I believe her reaction was something to the effect of, "You look like a dirty child molesting creep."

Really, I was dressed that way because I was playing a role. An assassin role.

You see, I've got a friend who is going to film school and has used me in a few of his movies. No, not those kinds of movies. He's years away from that. (We are talking about Home Alone 4: Child Protection Services Have Been Notified, right?)

He does action and suspense movies for projects and contests. A few years ago, he asked me to play the part of an assassin who is hoping to train his wife's daughter in the family business. So I got to play dress up, wear a dirty soul patch and greasy hair like I'm the ghost of K-Fed Future, and run around with a fake gun. I even had an action sequence where I had to dive on the floor. No stunt double was needed, despite my delicate frame.

I requested a butt double during the graphic sex scene, but then the director reminded me there was no graphic sex scene and that I should put my pants back on and that I should probably get those red spots checked out. He also declined my offer to film a scene using night vision, even though I said it worked on "One Night in Paris."

Most of the movie was shot in a Connecticut house, which is to say, a house about six times the size of my apartment. I tried to convince the homeowners I was a method actor and needed to live in the house before and after the shoot to truly embrace the role. This tactic did not work, especially because I had yet to put my pants back on.

Curious about the movie? Take a look. It's only about six minutes long, and it'll give you something else to watch other than that dog sleepwalking into the wall. For those with little attention span, I first appear about halfway through. For those with no attention span, stare at the photo and blink a bunch like it's a flipbook.

* Let's be honest, Cavy. It's natural to have a crush on me. Just ask Capricorn, childhood girlfriends, and gay men. Oh, wait, you don't? Hmm. I'll have to return the his and her towels.
** And here are the rules, for anyone who wants to play. This includes you, Amy and Funny Gals.
1. Go to your picture files or wherever you store your pictures on your computer.
2. Go to the sixth folder and select the sixth picture.
3. Post it on your blog and tell the story behind the picture.
4. Go tell it on the mountain. Or to other bloggers.

Thanks for all the well-wishes for my brother, who is definitely doing better. And thanks to those who already voted in my poll, which should help me a great deal. If you haven't already, well... it takes like two seconds and requires less effort than you'll use drinking away your sorrows this weekend.


Anonymous said...

i hope you kept the receipt for the towels and didn't have them monogrammed or anything... :) nice soul patch - really adds to the "creep" effect!

Nick James said...

The picture challenge sound interesting!

Amy xxoo said...

what - i dont normally follow the rules ?

Look out for mine tomorrow night - that is THursday evening, australian time

Sam_I_am said...

You were quite creepy in that.

Esmé Glass said...

I don't have six folders of pictures. I don't think I have a single one of those out-at-the-bar-holding-the-camera-yourself pictures.

I should probably drink more.

~Sheila~ said...

So...when you said you had and action sequence and you dove on the floor...Yes, I WAS instantly worried about your delicate frame.

LOL. Put your pants back on already!!!

That was good film...

Now, I have to see about participating in this photo challange..Gotta make sure I'm fully dressed in my 6th, 6th picture...(ya know what I mean?)

Srg said...

That video is great! Look at you toting that gun and flashlight with your arms crossed. Like a real badass. You looked like you knew what you were doing in that scene. Hmmm..kinda creepy! LOL

Jess said...

(We are talking about Home Alone 4: Child Protection Services Have Been Notified, right?)

There is always one line in your posts that gets me. This was the one. That's great.

And, I can't watch your video as I have no sound on my computer at work, but I am looking forward to it when I get home tonight!

Kellie said...

Great photo challenge and Capricorn is right. You do look like a creepy child molester. But that is what makes the photo great. :) I'm going to do this challenge too. I hope my picture isn't embarrassing... For some reason I'm pretty sure it will be though.

Lump said...

OMG!! Can I have your autograph!??!

Soda and Candy said...

You are indeed famouser than ever!

Anonymous said...

I thought your Twitter promised a funny photo, but I didn't find this too laughter-inducing. You look, well, er, professional...

My comment is useless, by the way. I know this, and for that, I'm sorry. Sort of.

*~Dani~* said...

I can only hope that one day flashlight makers and battery makers can come together to make a battery for a flashlight that does not require the user to shake it only to have it suddenly turn on in their eyes as seems to happen in every single movie. That is my dream.

P.S. You are a rock star!

Bea said...

i don't know which part i want to comment on! the roll and shoot, the sudden appearance being blurry, the holding the gun and the torch... all i can say (or beg) is
"can i have your autograph?!? pleeeeease?!?!)

Jenners said...

So why wasn't this nominated for a Best Oscar short film? Best comedy I've seen in a long time! I like the whole "flashlight shootout" sequence at the end. Actually, not too bad for a "home made" film...beats my husband's brief foray into filmmaking entitled "Murder at Mertz Lane" starring me and the case of the giggles.

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