To discuss an Oscar Twitter Recap, Based on the Blog Post "Recap" by Wild Emerald Chase

As Academy Awards go, that was a decent show. I greatly enjoyed Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin (Damn Helen Mirren!), and thought there were good jokes throughout. It would have been nice to wrap up before midnight, and I have a simple solution for that - why don't you put categories like sound mixing with the other techie Oscars on the untelevised ceremony? Also, why don't you cut back on the time people from Twilight talk?

For those who missed the night, or who didn't want to subject themselves to hours of me live Tweeting, here's my ... live Tweeting recap of the 2010 Oscars (@wildarschase), with some extra notes... I reorganized arrangement in the retweets, for easier reading. Full list of winners at the bottom. Full list of losers at James Cameron's house.

• I hope Kathy Ireland is new at this interviewing thing. She just profusely thanked Jake Gyllenhaal for "Brothers" like he was doing us a favor. Ed. note: Overall, some of the worst red carpet interviews I've seen. I cringed multiple times when the best questions were about what people were wearing. The one guy practically ignored Matthew Broderick, who was on hand to honor John Hughes ... or so we found out later, because we sure as hell didn't find out beforehand.
  
• @kimlw Hope Morgan Freeman stops chewing on cud long enough to hawk his wares next time (Ed. note: He was promoting some random, ugly bracelets for a charity)
  
• Notice how they don't say "Up In the Air, inspired by the novel Up in the Air." Eh, Precious?
• RT @Lbluca77: @wildarschase I’m wondering how Kathy Ireland even got this job. My guess she had to blow someone. WAC: Hence the baby bump.
• RT @SpaceMonkeyX: SJP is wearing a lovely shade of Jersey Shore Orange tonight...WAC: Which makes M. Broderick The Situation
• Kathy Ireland said Sandra Bullock "looked like an Oscar." So like an overtanned groin-less dude?
• RT @mohitsmovies: I can't wait to see when they do the 'who died this year' montage. WAC: Among those: "Bruce Willis' acting career"
• Not as popular: "The Blind Spot," a movie about errant lane changes.
• I'm surprised #Avatar isn't nominated for best animated movie. It's nominated for everything else. Ed. note: Who knew Avatar would get blue balled this whole night by not winning any big awards. And that's not considering they already have blue balls.
  
• With #Up winning, that'll inspire a sequel, for sure. "Down," about an elderly woman and her submarine.
• Is #Nine a reference to the number of sexual partners at once?
  
• It has no chance, but I loved #district9 and it deserves to win. It was the Hurt Locker with aliens.
• RT @maddiemarie: molly ringwald? what the hell is she doing there? super random. WAC: For John Hughes. And for a chance to be cast in "42 Candles"
• Great tribute to John Hughes.... wish they coulda had Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern run after Macaulay Caulkin, though
• RT @JesusNeedsNewPR: Is the woman in purple supposed to be on stage? WAC: She just Kanye'd her own movie. Ed. note: Here's the explanation of what happened during the Music by Prudence acceptance speech. It's crazier than I thought.
  
• My gf's idea: Take the mic to the seat of the winners to speed this thing up. Brilliant!
• No, they did that when Zoe came on stage and almost showed her crotch. RT @Lbluca77: And…all the Star Trek nerds just got a orgasm
• @Jensbellevie @jamielovely If only Rachel McAdams would return my calls and agree to be my second wife, I'd agree
• So glad to see Martin Lawrence finally won for Big Momma's H... wait, oops.
• RT @MarinkaNYC: I have not seen any of the nominated movies, in any category. WAC: To be fair, they haven't seen you, either.
• They just revoked Sandy Powell's costume design #oscar after seeing her outfit. True story.
• RT @maddiemarie: sandy powell "i already have two of these" hmm...greedy insensitive bitch? i think yes. WAC: I already have two testicles, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't welcome a 3rd.
• Is Kristen Stewart's presenter speech delivery part of the horror package? Ed. note: And why was Twilight in the horror movie montage, anyway? What's scary about glittery stardust vampires?
  
• Ah, the techie #oscars, also known as "Geeks stare at Elizabeth Banks' Cleavage Night"
• Agreed. I'd love a sequel involving bin Laden. Once we catch him and all. RT @kimlw: mannn, inglourious basterds was so goood
• RT @SamAbernethy: @wildarschase demi Moore is the one that looks like an Oscar. In the over bronzed way WAC: She's the Oscar's cougar. Ed. note: Actually, it's probably Kathryn Bigelow, who's fifty-freaking-eight.
  
• They actually asked Miley to sing for the death montage, figuring that would make people cry the most
• @db126 At least Miley looked decent tonight. And w/ the way she hunched over, she's a shoe-in to play Julia Child if they make a prequel Ed. note: I'm not sure I'm even joking.
  
• Dolphins already have sex for pleasure, but they'll definitely be banging after The Cove won best documentary
• Honestly, I would relate better to #HurtLocker if it was about dorky teens shoved in lockers. Ed. note: Still a great film
  
• Does Kristen Stewart mumbling in #Twilight count as Foreign Language Film? No? Ed. note: "Kristen, we really need you to emote in this scene... No, no, not the lip biting thing again, something different. OK, not the hand through the hair thing either... um... um... well, just mumble a bit. OK, great!"
  
• So.... I haven't seen Avatar... Or any Harry Potter films. Does that make me the only living person with that claim, other than Clooney? Ed. note: ... who seemed pissed off the entire night
  
• Oprah Winfrey just made an #oscar appearance... I would have preferred Dr. Oz
• Why didn't Keanu intro her and talk about "Speed"? RT @maddiemarie: sandra better take this award home. Ed. note: "Sandra really helped me make it seem realistic for a bus to defy physics and jump a lengthy gap in a bridge."
  
• Sandra Bullock won Best Actress, making up for the Academy overlooking her thriller, The Net, which stood the test of time. Until Google. Ed. note: Does the fact she also won a Razzie this year cancel out the Oscar and leave her with nothing?
  
• As "The Hurt Locker" is announced for Best Picture, James Cameron schemes to Avatarize the Academy Awards show next year to control the results
• Bold prediction for 2011: Meryl Streep will be nominated for Best Actress for something. Paris Hilton will not.
  

List of winners from the 2010 Oscars:
Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz
Animated Movie: Up
Best Song: "The Weary Kind," Crazy Heart
Original Screenplay: Mark Boal, The Hurt Locker
Short Film: Logorama
Documentary Short: Music by Prudence
Live Action Short Film: The New Tenants
Makeup: Star Trek
Adapted Screenplay: Jeffrey Fletcher, Precious
Supporting Actress: Mo'Nique, Precious
Art Direction: Avatar
Costume Design: The Young Victoria
Sound Editing: Hurt Locker
Sound Mixing: Hurt Locker
Cinematography: Avatar
Original Score: Up
Visual Effects: Avatar
Documentary Feature: The Cove
Film Editing: The Hurt Locker
Foreign Film: The Secret in Their Eyes
Actor: Jeff Bridges
Actress: Sandra Bullock
Director: Kathryn Bigelow
Movie: Hurt Locker

To discuss live Tweeting trick-or-treat 2009

Last year, I decided to chronicle my first time handing out candy at Halloween as an adult. I've since moved to a new complex, so why not go for round two of live Tweeting? Here's the recap of my Tweets, or Twits, or Tweeters, or whatever made-up name old Twitter updates are called. Twats?

1. Another Halloween, another year of live Tweeting trick-or-treat. Might be short-lived: it's raining. I should prob. be at a party somewhere.
2. First failed idea of the night: Capricorn nixed my idea to put a Megan's Law warning sign outside our door, to see which kids are hardcore
3. When I was a kid, I went trick-or-treating no matter what, even when it snowed. I even went when I was 16 and I drove house to house.
4. @clevertia I figure if a kid wants candy bad enough to risk being molested, he can have the whole bowl. And a lifetime of nightmares.
5. First trick-or-treaters: Transformer and a Spanish dancer of some sort. I didn't tell the Transformer his movies are overrated. He was 5.
6. Some people just drove slowly past my front door and laughed. Wonder if it was the rotting pumpkin, or a dude writing on his laptop in the rain?
7. Next group included ninja, bee and a baby lion, with a mom dressed as some sort of slutty 80s dancer. That's a win all around.
8. Just saw a chihuahua with a Mexican poncho. Good thing Bailey didn't see or he would've flipped out I didn't get him one. He can be a diva.
9. Huge group came by, lots of costumes. One boy was dressed as a "kid in sweatshirt in it for the free candy." Very creative.
10. Genius idea: Older kid, not in costume, got candy from me by saying, "Uh, it's for the little girl coming up behind me." I think he was solo.
11. @stateiamin I like the dedication. Why do all of us feel like wimps now? What happened?
12. To spice up the trick-or-treating, I'm reading this http://bit.ly/2u8Qdo @livitluvit post while handing out candy. You should too. (Ed. note: NSFW post)
    
13. Punk kid *peers into my apt* "Did you like just move in?" Me: "Uh... yeah?" Reality: It's been more than a year. Jerk.
14. Clarification: This post http://bit.ly/pV7FZ is by @whatkindofgirl, not @livitluvit, although it's funny I assumed it was livitluvit. (Ed. note: It was linked on her site)
    
15. Would it be bad taste if I wore a mask, put up caution tape and told kids not to get their H1N1 all over my candy?
16. If you are old enough to show cleavage, you might be too old for trick-or-treating. Or you should be at a party making bad decisions.
17. Just got back from trip to Walmart. It was hard to tell w ho was in costume and who was a regular Walmart customer.*

* It was a top-notch night for Wal-mart**. They were really coming out of the woodwork; there very well could have been some qualifying entries for this.

** Capricorn and I had to go so we could buy dog food. Usually, I get a little five pound bag, but Bailey and Leo eat through it faster than Oprah through a corndog. So Capricorn convinced me to buy a 40-pound bag this time. To summarize, I have 40 pounds of food for 12 pounds of dog. We should be set at least until 2012, when John Cusack battles the apocalypse.

To discuss what I should teach young journalistic minds this week

On Thursday, I'll be speaking to high school kids attending a media conference at my alma mater university.

The topic: Blogging and journalism.

I'll try to drop in what I've learned, whether it's using Twitter for reporting, or writing a reality show blog to attract a different readership/get paid to watch So You Think You Can Dance.

Now, I've already dispensed social media advice to all you in the summer.

The budding journalists I talk to this week can only pray my advice is just as sage when I speak to them.

Since you won't be there, here are some of my possible words of advice:

1. Don't believe all the hype about "the Internet." People love holding an unwieldy and bulky newspaper. There's something about the lack of Google searchability and timeliness that readers just love. I mean, everyone was doom-and-gloom over postal mail when e-mail invented, and look how that turned out!
   
2. Interested in podcasting? Instead of doing clips about the day's hot news topics, try spicing things up. Listeners would much rather hear whether you agree with Esquire magazine naming Kate Beckinsale the sexiest woman alive* than they would about your views on property tax reform. Or, converge the two to get the most listeners. "In a meeting last night, the board members said 'insurance costs have caused us to inflate tax increases.' Speaking of 'caused us to inflate' ... Kate Beckinsale."
   
3. Leave the news to the bloggers. Sure, you might say they have limited access to sources, a lack of training on how to write a cohesive, fact-checked story, and a lack of understanding of how news is put together. But their unvalidated opinions still have lots of moxie! And when people get their news, they'll take moxie over accuracy and/or objectiveness anytime.
4. Use your official newspaper Twitter account to trash talk sources. They won't be mad because you're just being so darn cutting edge using your social media to reach readers. Hey, everyone knows Twitter wasn't popular until news talk shows did feature segments on it. You control fads! While you're at it, young journalist, use your new-found power to bring back Trapper Keepers. They're the shiz!
   
5. Petition Facebook to allow you to add attribution to your status updates, so people will know that you verified your state of being. If you tell me you are "in a relationship," I want to know it's "according to my girlfriend." If you are "It's complicated" I want to feel confident that it's "according to my sister's bisexual husband who 'accidentally' felt me up and I kinda liked it but then remember he used to be a she who liked he's and she's but now just she's since he's a he" Attribution, attribution, attribution.
   

* While I can't disagree in theory- Kate Beckinsale is crazy attractive- doesn't Esquire really mean, "The sexiest white female celebrity actor and/or singer"? It's not like Esquire searched the earth finding the sexiest woman; for instance, my girlfriend, despite being uber-sexy, was not considered. Were any of you?

To discuss live Tweeting for Halloween

For the first time since becoming an adult, I'm handing out candy on Halloween. Last year, after I forgot to buy candy, I had to shut out my lights and hide like Anne Frank while people pounded on my door.
Here's hoping for better results this year...Ongoing updates, via Twitter.

wildarschase So far, one Star Wars jedi, one ladybug
wildarschase For kicks, can I put out one of those child molester posters that says "No candy here"?
wildarschase Now there's a lull. Crap. Did I say that child molester comment out loud?
wildarschase I'm offering KitKats, Take 5s and Reeses Whips (40% less fat, for overweight kids)... I'd say I have a pleasant array
wildarschase Missing ingredient for trick or treating: Kids
wildarschase Next door neighbor and I are considering trick or treating on our own if nobody shows up
wildarschase There's nothing better than seeing grown men dressed in costumes because their wives/girlfriends made them do it
wildarschase Some dude just peeled out in the parking lot. Because it's always smart to burn rubber with little kids walking around in the dark
wildarschase I wish I put as much effort into life as I did into my awesome jack-o-lantern. And I wish I could carve pumpkins professionally.
wildarschase How old were you when you stopped trick-or-treating? I was 16. I drove.
wildarschase Are Sarah Palin and Obama's kids doing this right now? Can Obama's daughter dress up as Sarah Palin? Wouldn't that be perfect?
wildarschase I bought items for my Halloween costume. It's going to be genius, and by genius, I mean $11 at Salvation Army
wildarschase Items included: Red cardigan, stocking, Santa hat, wrapping paper, tie with snowman holding an American flag
wildarschase Items to add before tomorrow night's party: Calendar with July showing
wildarschase I'm also bringing a Target bag... Give up? I'm going as the Christmas shopping season
wildarschase It starts earlier every year, you know
wildarschase Oh, and Sarah Palin is in town today. I hope she comes to get candy from me
wildarschase Even better, I hope she goes door to door campaigning. People won't know if it's her or one of the million women dressing up as her
wildarschase I just saw trick or treaters down the road. Come on over here, kiddies! I've got candy!
wildarschase I literally have kids skipping my place and going to other houses
wildarschase That little kid just grabbed like 4 Kit Kats from me. Doesn't he know we're in a recession?
wildarschase I think that was a ninja... and some kind of 80s pop star, a la Robin Sparkles from How I Met Your Mother
wildarschase That was the first time I ever spoke to the neighbors two doors down from me. They seem surprised to see me. As if I'm a ghost.
wildarschase I'm eating more candy than I am giving out. Also- almost got impaled by fake ghoul sword

wildarschase Alright, it's almost over and I can't feel my fingers.
wildarschase One last set of trick or treaters... I just gave them enough candy for a diabetic coma