Tuesday, September 9, 2008

To discuss what went terribly, terribly wrong...(Part 2)

It’s taken me longer than I thought to continue this harrowing story. That’s due, in part, to all the work needed to get that sweet Q&A going yesterday- Haute and I wrote and edited nearly 4,400 words combined for that sucker. Good God, what were we thinking? I do hope you enjoyed it- if you’d like me to continue doing my own Q&A in future weeks, let me know or e-mail questions to wildarschase@yahoo.com. I’ll try to get an e-mail link going in the sidebar as well. Oh, and shower Haute with praise on her site. She’s fragile.
I went back and forth on whether to write about Sunday, so as not to be a total jerk to people involved, even if they aren’t named. I decided to take the journalist’s approach and stick to the facts, letting you form your own opinion. Also- I'm not one for trashing people on a freakin' blog- if you know me in real life, realize I'm not just waiting for you to mess up so I can blog about it... I've got enough of my own problems to write about.
If you need to catch up, here's Part One: To Discuss what went right...

Back to shattered flowers and dreams...
When we last talked about my weekend, I had finished a very pleasant outing with Ladyfriend on Saturday, complete with my usual trademark “Did I just say that?” comments.
Sunday was full of promise. After coming home from church, I confirmed plans with XXX (not her real name), another cool girl I had recently talked to over the phone, but had not yet met in person. We were going to watch the Steelers’ game together at my place in front of my extremely large flatscreen TV*. I rushed home to clean up the place and make it smell all nice and un-boy like.
The game started at 1 p.m. XXX said she had left a few minutes prior to that, meaning she should arrive around 1:30sh, coming about 25-30 miles away. A timeline:
1:30 p.m. Steelers 7, Texans 0, Andy, alone.
1:45 p.m. Steelers 14, Texans 0, Andy, still alone and making a call to see if she’s lost.
2:15 p.m. Steelers 21, Texans 3, Andy a little worried because she’s not answering her phone.
2:45 p.m. Third quarter, Steelers 35, Texans 3, Andy now legitimately worried after several unanswered phone calls
3:30 p.m. Fourth quarter, Steelers 38, Texans 10, Andy now convinced he’s caused the death of XXX
4 p.m. Game over, Steelers crush Texans 38-17, Andy now has no idea where XXX is or why she isn’t answering or letting him know what happened.
5:30 p.m. After convincing himself she’s alright, I (we’re back in first person now) decide to get out of the house so I’m not just staring at my dog, waiting. I leave a last voicemail- number 2- telling her I was out but hoping she was OK and that she’d call soon to let him know what’s going on.
5:45 p.m. XXX texts to say she got rear-ended by some old, scary dude soon after she left, and her phone had died, so she couldn’t contact me. Everything makes sense now, glad she’s OK. Since she had a bad afternoon and it was partially linked to me, I offer to cheer her up by driving up to her place to keep her company and get her mind off of things. I tell her I’ll likely get there around 8:30 p.m.
8:10 p.m. Andy (third person again- I switch literary devices like underwear) is a mile or two down the road when XXX texts to say she needs an extra 30 minutes so she can stop at a co-worker’s house to pick something up.
8:15 p.m. Andy, an amiable gent, texts back that he’ll get there at 9 instead. Moments later, XXX texts back that 9 isn’t enough time, causing Andy to wonder how an extra 30 minutes past 8:30 p.m. does not equal 9 p.m. Andy writes back, 9:30?
The last text is critical, friends, as you’ll find out.
Andy spent the next hour picking up flowers- friends, dates or whomever it is, anyone can get flowers if they need cheering up- and driving to XXX’s place. It took less time than he expected, so Andy killed some time in his car after arriving watching episodes of The Office** on his laptop, which he had with him.
9:30 p.m. Andy calls XXX to tell her he’s here. Although she had not texted back before, Andy figured that 9:30 should be more than enough time, considering she said she only needed an extra 30 minutes or so.... Ring. Ring. No answer. Voice mail. “Hey XXX, just letting you know I’m around, let me know when you get back.”
9:45 p.m. Andy, sitting in silence, decides he might as well go knock on XXX’s door in case she already was home. The following exchange took place:
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Andy, looking for XXX?
" XXX who?" A random, shirtless dude replies.
XXX. Is she home?
Naw, man, XXX doesn’t live here. (no one said random shirtless dude was good at telling jokes)

Andy, now utterly confused, calls XXX to make sure he’s not in the wrong freakin' area. Again, no answer, which, in a Verizon commercial would go, “Can you hear me now?” followed by, “No I can’t #@%&*% hear you, no one is answering &%#$.”
10:10 p.m. Now getting frustrated, sitting in silence, not sure if he’s at the right place or if XXX actually exists, Andy grabs some food at the Sheetz station*** and calls his ex-fiance to explain the situation and double-check his sanity. Ex-fiance reassures him that he’s not crazy and that maybe he should wait a little longer, and then peace out. Ex-fiance, as always, is wise.
10:30 p.m. Andy, now back in the parking lot of XXX’s supposed housing complex, steals the Internet signal from some unsuspecting neighbor not smart enough to use a passcode (seriously, dude. That’s not smart). He wastes some time checking blogs and Twittering with the lovely MissTiff. Another call, another text. No reply.
10:45 p.m. Andy is now once again concerned he has caused the death of XXX.
10:45 p.m. Andy leaves one final, and as it turns out, fatalistic voice mail, using a slightly caustic tone to vent his underlying frustration that XXX hasn’t let him know anything about what’s going on, even just to say she’s running late or can’t make it or that she’s dead and he’ll have to reschedule. No expletives or raised voice were used, but it wasn’t sugary sweet, either.
11 p.m. Andy wishes it was Saturday again. Ladyfriend, already a nice person, is coming out like roses now.
11:45 p.m. Andy is back home, picking up at...
... Andy looked at the flower bouquet in the passenger seat. Silently, for everything that night was about silence, he picked up the flowers, got out of his car parked by his apartment, walked calmly to a nearby dumpster and bashed those motherf'rs in one, sweet blow to the ground before tossing in the remaining stem carcass, as petals fluttered in the air like Forrest Gump's feather.
11:22 a.m. XXX is alive! That’s the first and foremost concern alleviated. Good. Bad stuff, though. XXX texts that she’s fine but that Andy’s last voice mail made her not want to talk to him last night. Mind you, the last voice mail was at 10:45 p.m., well after the meeting time and after an earlier voice mail asking if she was ok.
A series of texts go back and forth, leading to an actual call (texting, as it turns out, is truly the devil).
XXX explains that she didn’t like Andy’s tone (somewhat understandable), that she had unknowingly left her phone in her car when visiting her co-worker, that she didn’t want to just quickly run in and out of said co-workers house and be “rude,” and that she didn’t think Andy would leave his place because she hadn’t confirmed the 9:30 p.m. time.
(This is the vitriolic part I’m leaving out- I try to give people the benefit of the doubt... Now you, you might not. So come to your own conclusions).
The icing on the three-layer, double-fudge cake is that Knock Knock dude, as it turns out, is XXX’s roommate. Yes, that dude lied to my face- he told XXX he didn’t know me, so instead of dealing with me he just made something up, and they had a good chuckle over it.

Well... um... at least the Steelers won.

* Some guys overcompensate by driving large cars or owning large dogs. I have a large flat screen. My overcompensation has brilliant colors and resolution, HDMI outputs and HD capability. My overcompensation is better.
** OK, so it was that sweet Halloween episode where Michael tries to fire someone, but he can't go through with it, and Jim and Pam send Dwight's resume to other companies, leading Dwight to ask a potential employer what his resume says under "Martial Arts Training." Classic.
*** Sheetz, for those outside the PA/WV region is a gas station mecca that includes touch-screen food ordering that is so well-made and delicious that people go there just to eat. Recognize.


sj said...

ooof. well. that sounds like a healthy round of excuses. and, unfortunately, i used to be a girl like that. i'd say she's not worth the time and effort.

walk away.

of course, i've also been on the other side of this, and have reached out to a guy (thank god texts weren't as huge as they are now when i was dating) and heard nothing, and i'm the type who grows impatient quickly, and therefore, frustrated quickly, and therefore, leaves unwitting messages for guys and then turns out to sound a little bit like a crazy girl.

phew. are you catching all of this? in short: the ladyfriend sounds better. bark up that tree.

alexis said...

For the record. Totally on your side!

Your story gave me anxiety in the chest it was so awful.
-Not awful as in badly written or a bad story, just what happened was awful.

-that's the anxiety speaking.

Miss Tiff said...

You already know how I feel about this whole situation. By our emails and twittering that occurred this weekend. I'm sending you an email that has link you need to check out.. She could have turned out being one of these types of women.. But seriously dude, it's her loss. So brush it off and focus on the ladyfriend from Saturday! :)

Here's like the tenth one of these if you still need it over the whole situation *hug*. :)

Aww.. thanks for the shout out.. You're always so nice. (Well when we are getting each other's jokes that is.) Ha ha.

Anonymous said...

Dude. That sucks. I'd have bashed the flowers against the dumpster, too. Screw that stuff.

Well, at least the Steelers won* and you got to watch The Office.

Oh, and here's a Q&A question if you choose to continue it: Better Head Of The Class Teacher -- Howard Hesseman or Billy Connolly?

* I can only say this because the win didn't come against the Bears, and also because I have Willie Parker and the Steelers' D on my fantasy team (even though that wasn't enough to help me win my matchup).

The Logarithmic Spiral said...

Yeah, I'm pretty sure shirtless dude was not roommate dude, but more like bed buddy dude. Just my take on it...

By the way, wish me luck, I have my own blind date coming up this weekend. Yikes!

Anonymous said...

In the words of Kelly Clarkson: Walk Away. You're a smart guy, let this one go. You deserve better. She's yanking your chain, and let's just say not in a sexy way. (Sorry though, that sucks.) At least you had The Office.

Herding Cats said...

She sounds terrible. Don't speak to her anymore. She was not only a liar, but making YOU feel like the bad guy (which you are not). And yah, I agree with the last comment...that probably wasn't her roomate. It was another date. :/

Amy xxoo said...

What a biatch. So she gets rear ended, her phone dies, she brushes you off temporarily for a friend and then she leaves her phone in the car - and you're the rude one?

What a crock of lies. I'd say you dodged a bullet right there my friend....

Diane said...

Wench. Lying wench, too, I'll wager. And Stupid lying wench, given how great you sound (and no, HP, I'm not hitting on him, as I could've birthed the boy ;). It never ceases to amaze me how RUDE people can be... but don't worry... Karma's a bitch... this'll come back to bite her in the ass one day.

Finger Talks said...

um ya, she sounds a little nutty, her loss. My votes for ladyfriend. Go get her - rawr!

gracie-mel said...

Aww, please. You do have all those young ladies just writhing at your door, don't you?? I mean, practically falling up your stairs?? If she wanted you to be a part of her night, she would have made an effort, and she didn't. No courtesy = no further. BAM!

ANG* said...

i dont like XXX one bit.

Elisse said...

While you have my deepest sympathies for what you went through, I have to say that the "Recognize" about Sheetz at the end made this post. Ha ha!

Anonymous said...

I think perhaps fate was intervening - she does not sound like someone you'd want to be around.

spleeness said...

I got angry just reading about this, although clearly it's in the past and you are so moved on now. She has absolutely NO justification for her behavior. I would never act like that!! I'll bet she cries to her friends that she can't meet a nice guy who's good to her. THIS is why. Only someone insane would put up w/that long term, and you *can* tell this would be happening all the time.

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