Thursday, November 27, 2008

To discuss an awards show Kanye would be proud of:

Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow Americans, and to you non-Americans, sorry we took over your land/slaughtered your people/fought against your country/think we're better than you at everything/steal all your good ideas and claim them as our own/lust over your women and David Beckham.

Anyway, I thought you should see what I was up to last week:
I got my Kanye West on.
For a skit I wrote for church about Kanye putting himself above, well, everybody else, I donned my shutter shades, pimp chain and cardigan. The script involved Kanye crashing an awards ceremony because he's upset he didn't win (like that would ever happen)...
Here's the rap I performed in front of frightened church-goers:
(To the tune of "Baby Got Back")
I like myself and I cannot lie
You other brothas can't deny
When West walks in with diamonds on his waist
And a mic up in your face
You back up.
Wanna call my bluff?
Cause you know that West's the stuff.
So ladies, ladies,
Wanna know why people love me?
Then turn around
Walk it out
Even George Dubya got to shout
Kanye got that.

Even Capricorn had to try on the shutter shades, except she makes them look good:

On to the important stuff. It's awards time again! She's Lump busted out an award on me, which, coming from her and her hilarious blog, is high praise indeed. I'm going to break the rules some with this "Your Blog is Fabulous!" award and give it to one blog I've long been a fan of, and one I recently discovered:
(drum roll, done to the syncopated beats of Kanye's "Love Lockdown," please)

The first award goes to Ben, of No Ordinary Rollercoaster.
I just can't deny it. After reading all sorts of great stuff on his blog- his dream dates are some of the funniest posts around) I knew I had team up with him one day. But, when we made it a three-day co-blog event, the results were magical thanks to his great humor. I only can hope that one day I have the talent and wit he has. And on top of that, he has a cute wiener.

The second award goes to someone who might be able to match me, episode by episode, at recalling Saved by the Bell, and who is able to amuse me simply by writing about bagels. How could such a person exist? She exists, alright. She's Stealthnerd from Strict Shenaniganist. Like me, she also has theories about America's Next Top Model. It's a good time had by all, if the "all" is blogland and the "good time" is belly laughs.
A special awards shout-out to Funny Gals. Last time I gave out awards, I complimented you two ladies for being so supportive of each other that you cover for when the other person can't blog, but you were hoping for compliments on your writing style. Let this be my declaration that you put the Funny in Funny Gals, and, as I mentioned before, you're both kick me in the crotch fantastic.


Stacy said...

wait...kick you in the crotch, spit on your neck fantastic?

Interesting compliment.

Amy xxoo said...

That rap was hella good - and totally true. Mr West is certainly his own biggest fan....

Also: Yes, Capricorn looks great in the shutter shades, but you toally rocked them. You know, for a white boy and all...

The Rambler said...

OMG, loved your rap. I can only imagine....:)

Astharis said...

You mastered the Kanye... Except you missed out the part where he claims everyone is racist for not agreeing he's the best artist ever... *Rolls eyes* What a douche.

And you can seriously buy shutter shades? My mind has been the opposite of blown.

Happy Turkey Day. :)

Ben said...

Dear sir,

Thank you for finally sharing more pictures of a) yourself, b) the pooch, c) Capricorn. It was an eye-candy festival to remember.

As for the award, you are too kind. Flattery will get you anywhere.

Far said...

omg i SO tried on those glasses the other day they rock!! lol surprisingly the look suits you AND capricorn!

Áine Caitríona said...

Blog love is the best love there is. Well, maybe second-best. Third-best? Top ten, at least.

Fine, fine; blog love is usually quietly tolerated by more progressive individuals but is still considered by many as The Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name.

Lucky for you we all share this particular fetish. No judgement.

stealthnerd said...

That, sir, was an excellent remix.

As for the award, I am blushing over here. Like Ben said, flattery will get you everywhere.

Jossie Posie said...

I am seriously jealous of Capricorn's cheekbones. And the glasses.

Andy said...

Capricorn : 1000 , Andy : 0
You have to admit she looks amazing in the glasses that make everybody look stupid.

Trooper Thorn said...

Who would win in an ego fight between Kanye West and William Shatner?

kisatrtle said...

Love the look. Think you should go dressed like that to a school board meeting.

Anna Lefler said...

OMG, T-giving dinner is over and I just realized that I left out the most important ingredient:


Damn IT.

Oh, well. Hope you're having a swell holiday, yo.

:^) Anna

Strawberry said...

HA! i totally have those same shutter shades, and totally rocked them at a kanye west concert last month in shanghai, it was awesome and also headache-inducing (the wearing of the shades, that is)

SouthernBelle said...

Awesome rap, Yeezy. You're pretty fly for a... well, you know the rest.
; )

Miss Tiff said...

Great post and great pics rocking the shutter shades! :)

JenBun said...

All of this? Is fabulous!!!

(And I totally rapped it out loud as I read. My office mates enjoy it too!)


Lump said...

dude, you are FABULOUS.

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