Loud 'n' Clear: It boasts it's "So powerful, you can even hear conversations from across the street." In other words, you can easily eavesdrop and spy on neighbors.
Dick Cheney has endorsed this product to help find people of interest who look a little too Arab-ish. You can also use it to listen in on conversations through the locker room wall... just imagine this scenario:
Jenny: "I wonder what Billy really thinks of me. Hmm, let me try hearing through this wall while I stand in nothing but a white towel."
Billy (to friends): "Yeah, dude, Jenny is a total hottie."
Jenny (smiling): "He likes me!"
Billy: "She really knows how to use her tongue on my..."
Jenny (horrified): "Ugh!"
Strap Perfect: Are you tired of having your bra straps show when you wear a sleeveless shirt? Well, stop it. Dudes like to see bra straps because it reminds us that there are boobs nearby. But, if you're not looking to get any, then try the Strap Perfect. It's guaranteed to "give your cleavage a firm, youthful lift."
Or, for a different firm, youthful lift, head down to your local college campus, tell the frat boys you're a cougar, and you'll have young, strapping men carrying you to their bedroom in no time. They'll even make sure you have no need to wear a bra at all, eliminating the need for the Strap Perfect.
Pro Caulk: Have you had caulk problems? Do you ever wish you had quick and easy caulk to use? Try Pro Caulk! Just jam caulk into your crevices, and in no time, you'll be fulfilled. Don't leave caulk to amateurs. Use Pro Caulk.*
Cash4Gold: If you're like
Sprayguard 2001: Not just the 2000. The two-thousand... and one! This little beauty protects your Have Mercy face from hair spray, or even pink spray paint that Joey accidentally grabs. Buy this product today and you'll be saying, "You got it, dude!"
The only issue might be that a guy already has the patent to this, so Danny, Jesse and Joey might be sued.
Still to come, once I receive it: A Snuggie review. Also, if you've liked these posts, don't miss the new show, Pitchmen, starring Billy Mays and Anthony Sullivan. It looks too good to be true...
Also, if you looked for an "America's Next Top Model" play-by-play and couldn't find it, it's because I couldn't write one, as my TiVo messed up. But I did write a recap of the highlights show, over at Real Blogger.
* This infomercial brought to you by my 9th grade sense of humor.