Everyone and their mother, as well as their step-mother, baby mama, and their sugar mama, has been making lists to celebrate the demise of 2009.
Some even more adventurous people have been doing best of the decade stuff, which I think are a tad ridiculous. I was in high school a decade ago. My tastes in everything - my taste in girls- were all different. I had freaking braces a decade ago. How could I possibly evaluate what was good at the start of the decade, when I was basically a different person? And how can you compare, say, the hottest women of the decade - some of them were in middle school at the beginning of the decade. I guess you could rank middle school girls now to get a head start on 2020, while I'll get a head start on 2035 by ranking fetuses.
What I can do is look back at 2009, using my ever-handy Month in Reviews (minus May, which I skipped), and show you my list of the best music, TV and movies I experienced. Some of these were made before 2009, but I heard/watched them now, so I figure that counts. I mean, who has the time to check out all the new movies the same year they are released? Out of the top 10 grossing movies this year, I haven't seen any of them (nor will I for some, as there's no good reason to see Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen unless the "fallen" indicates Megan Fox's shirt, and even then, she'd still be talking, so what's the point?).
At the bottom, you'll find some of the worst stuff that came out in 2009. I was hard-pressed to think of bad movies, as I tend not to pay to watch crappy new movies, as I tend not to be rich.
What do you think of my selections? Can you offer some suggestions? Do not try to disagree about my inclusion of "Jersey Shore," or we'll have a Situation.
December: "Forever" Drake; "Shake It Out" Manchester Orchestra (Ed. note: Not included: Christmas Shoes.)
November: "In Case of Rapture" As Tall As Lions
October: "Wishing Well" Airborne Toxic Event
September: "Make Her Say" Kid Cudi (Ed. note: Yeah, everybody did a remix of "Poker Face," but this was among the better ones. Even if Kanye was on it.)
August: "Ignorance" Paramore
July: "Old White Lincoln" Gaslight Anthem
June: "Panic Switch" Silversun Pickups
April: "Zero" Yeah Yeah Yeahs
March: "Crack the Shutters" Snow Patrol
February: "Blue Ridge Mountains" Fleet Foxes (Ed. note: Kind of like the Beach Boys for the 2000s)
January: "A Milli," Lil Wayne; "In My Head," Your Vegas
December: Jersey Shore; Teen Mom (Ed. note: Jersey Shore is all the things we love about Real World, without the thinly veiled promise of emotional depth. Snookie gets punched in the face! The Situation has too many girls trying to get in his hot tub! J-Woww saw Pauly D's little Italian! Ronnie is an obvious HGH user! ... Teen Mom, on the other hand, is the best of True Life and one of the most accurate portrayals of lower middle class/working poor teen life I've seen. Plus, I love Gary, who most recently got slapped in the face by Amber. Love you, Gar!)
November: Tabatha's Salon Takeover (Ed. note: Bravo's best reality show)
October: Curb Your Enthusiasm; It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (Ed. note: Charlie: "I'm a full on rapist." Disturbed date: "You mean a philanthropist?")
August: Hard Knocks (Ed. note: This year, it focused on the Cincinatti Bengals ... who went on this NFL season to win their division while also suffering the death of teammate Chris Henry)
July: So You Think You Can Dance
June: True Blood; 16 and Pregnant
April: Eastbound and Down (Ed. note: I'm Kenny F*$@%@$ Powers)
March: Make Me a Supermodel; Big Love (Ed. note: MMS is everything Top Model wants to be, plus it actually uses the catwalk every episode; Big Love is one of the best written shows around)
February: American Idol
January: Property Virgins (Ed. note: I'd say this is a guilty pleasure, but I don't feel guilty for watching. I feel wonderful. That, and Sandra has such nicely-tailored outfits. I feel I should reward her by watching.)
December: It's Complicated; Julie and Julia (Ed. note: My whole family went to see It's Complicated, and we all liked it. John Krasinski has a funny line every time he speaks, and who doesn't like Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin?)
November: Australia; The Goods
October: Zombieland (Ed. note: Humor and zombies and Bill Murray and Twinkies. There isn't a downside.)
September: I Love You, Man; Adventureland
August: Eagle Eye
July: The Proposal (Ed. note: Much better than it needed to be. Ryan Reynolds is the most underrated actor in Hollywood. Right? Well, he and Mark Paul Gosselaar.)
June: Star Trek
April: The Reader
March: Fast and Furious (Ed. note: I was 18 when the first Fast and Furious came out. And I still love it. That means either the movies have matured as I've grown older, or I haven't matured as more movies came out. Let's be real and go with B.)
February: Pineapple Express; He's Just Not That Into You
January: The Wrestler (Ed. note: Just watched it again on HBO. Marisa Tomei is incredibly naked the entire movie. And yet, Mickey Rourke is the most mesmerizing thing on screen. How is that possible?)
Among the worst:
NYC Prep, Bravo
This had all the worst qualities of Bravo reality shows, namely "Real Housewives," all rolled into one. Pretentious, snobby kids. Drama over non-events. Greediness. Shallowness. Bad hair. Talking about poor people but really meaning middle class people. More bad hair. Names that make you want to gag.
Runner-up: Accidentally on Purpose, CBS
I expect this from Kate Hudson, but Anne Hathaway? She didn't have a better script available? The whole movie made it seem like women will stop at nothing to get the perfect wedding, even at the expense of their best friend. And that women care more about the wedding than the man they are marrying. And that Kate Hudson is desirable.
"No Surprise" Daughtry
I generally don't hold a grudge when a really bad song is successful, as sometimes people like to play stuff that is so bad, it's good, i.e. "Party in the USA." But "No Surprise" isn't that. It's not a poorly crafted song. It's just mediocre. And it sounds like every Creed knock-off already out there. That's a far worse offense. Let's face it. Chris Daughtry is still moping for losing out to Taylor Hicks, Katherine McLegs and the Amish Guy.
"Fire Burning" Sean Kingston; "I Gotta Feeling" Black Eyed Peas
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