Wednesday, December 30, 2009

To discuss a year in review, with the top music, TV and movies... and the worst

Everyone and their mother, as well as their step-mother, baby mama, and their sugar mama, has been making lists to celebrate the demise of 2009.

Some even more adventurous people have been doing best of the decade stuff, which I think are a tad ridiculous. I was in high school a decade ago. My tastes in everything - my taste in girls- were all different. I had freaking braces a decade ago. How could I possibly evaluate what was good at the start of the decade, when I was basically a different person? And how can you compare, say, the hottest women of the decade - some of them were in middle school at the beginning of the decade. I guess you could rank middle school girls now to get a head start on 2020, while I'll get a head start on 2035 by ranking fetuses.

What I can do is look back at 2009, using my ever-handy Month in Reviews (minus May, which I skipped), and show you my list of the best music, TV and movies I experienced. Some of these were made before 2009, but I heard/watched them now, so I figure that counts. I mean, who has the time to check out all the new movies the same year they are released? Out of the top 10 grossing movies this year, I haven't seen any of them (nor will I for some, as there's no good reason to see Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen unless the "fallen" indicates Megan Fox's shirt, and even then, she'd still be talking, so what's the point?).

At the bottom, you'll find some of the worst stuff that came out in 2009. I was hard-pressed to think of bad movies, as I tend not to pay to watch crappy new movies, as I tend not to be rich.

What do you think of my selections? Can you offer some suggestions? Do not try to disagree about my inclusion of "Jersey Shore," or we'll have a Situation.

Best Music:
December: "Forever" Drake; "Shake It Out" Manchester Orchestra (Ed. note: Not included: Christmas Shoes.)
November: "In Case of Rapture" As Tall As Lions
October: "Wishing Well" Airborne Toxic Event
September: "Make Her Say" Kid Cudi (Ed. note: Yeah, everybody did a remix of "Poker Face," but this was among the better ones. Even if Kanye was on it.)
August: "Ignorance" Paramore
July: "Old White Lincoln" Gaslight Anthem
June: "Panic Switch" Silversun Pickups
April: "Zero" Yeah Yeah Yeahs
March: "Crack the Shutters" Snow Patrol
February: "Blue Ridge Mountains" Fleet Foxes (Ed. note: Kind of like the Beach Boys for the 2000s)
January: "A Milli," Lil Wayne; "In My Head," Your Vegas

Best TV:
December: Jersey Shore; Teen Mom (Ed. note: Jersey Shore is all the things we love about Real World, without the thinly veiled promise of emotional depth. Snookie gets punched in the face! The Situation has too many girls trying to get in his hot tub! J-Woww saw Pauly D's little Italian! Ronnie is an obvious HGH user! ... Teen Mom, on the other hand, is the best of True Life and one of the most accurate portrayals of lower middle class/working poor teen life I've seen. Plus, I love Gary, who most recently got slapped in the face by Amber. Love you, Gar!)
November: Tabatha's Salon Takeover (Ed. note: Bravo's best reality show)
October: Curb Your Enthusiasm; It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (Ed. note: Charlie: "I'm a full on rapist." Disturbed date: "You mean a philanthropist?")
September: Community
August: Hard Knocks (Ed. note: This year, it focused on the Cincinatti Bengals ... who went on this NFL season to win their division while also suffering the death of teammate Chris Henry)
July: So You Think You Can Dance
June: True Blood; 16 and Pregnant
April: Eastbound and Down (Ed. note: I'm Kenny F*$@%@$ Powers)
March: Make Me a Supermodel; Big Love (Ed. note: MMS is everything Top Model wants to be, plus it actually uses the catwalk every episode; Big Love is one of the best written shows around)
February: American Idol
January: Property Virgins (Ed. note: I'd say this is a guilty pleasure, but I don't feel guilty for watching. I feel wonderful. That, and Sandra has such nicely-tailored outfits. I feel I should reward her by watching.)

Best Movie:
December: It's Complicated; Julie and Julia (Ed. note: My whole family went to see It's Complicated, and we all liked it. John Krasinski has a funny line every time he speaks, and who doesn't like Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin?)
November: Australia; The Goods
October: Zombieland (Ed. note: Humor and zombies and Bill Murray and Twinkies. There isn't a downside.)
September: I Love You, Man; Adventureland
August: Eagle Eye
July: The Proposal (Ed. note: Much better than it needed to be. Ryan Reynolds is the most underrated actor in Hollywood. Right? Well, he and Mark Paul Gosselaar.)
June: Star Trek
April: The Reader
March: Fast and Furious (Ed. note: I was 18 when the first Fast and Furious came out. And I still love it. That means either the movies have matured as I've grown older, or I haven't matured as more movies came out. Let's be real and go with B.)
February: Pineapple Express; He's Just Not That Into You
January: The Wrestler (Ed. note: Just watched it again on HBO. Marisa Tomei is incredibly naked the entire movie. And yet, Mickey Rourke is the most mesmerizing thing on screen. How is that possible?)

Among the worst:
NYC Prep, Bravo
This had all the worst qualities of Bravo reality shows, namely "Real Housewives," all rolled into one. Pretentious, snobby kids. Drama over non-events. Greediness. Shallowness. Bad hair. Talking about poor people but really meaning middle class people. More bad hair. Names that make you want to gag.

Runner-up: Accidentally on Purpose, CBS

Bride Wars
I expect this from Kate Hudson, but Anne Hathaway? She didn't have a better script available? The whole movie made it seem like women will stop at nothing to get the perfect wedding, even at the expense of their best friend. And that women care more about the wedding than the man they are marrying. And that Kate Hudson is desirable.

"No Surprise" Daughtry
I generally don't hold a grudge when a really bad song is successful, as sometimes people like to play stuff that is so bad, it's good, i.e. "Party in the USA." But "No Surprise" isn't that. It's not a poorly crafted song. It's just mediocre. And it sounds like every Creed knock-off already out there. That's a far worse offense. Let's face it. Chris Daughtry is still moping for losing out to Taylor Hicks, Katherine McLegs and the Amish Guy.
"Fire Burning" Sean Kingston; "I Gotta Feeling" Black Eyed Peas


P said...

"Bride Wars" . . . yup. Disappointing.

I haven't even heard of most of the music you mention here! Maybe I should expand my horizons a bit!

I'll wish you an early Happy New Year now Andy! :)

Herding Cats said...

I've been wanting to Netflix Big Love for some time now. You've convince me!

Oh, and Teen Mom is perhaps even better than 16 and pregnant. So good!

Anonymous said...

"Let's face it. Chris Daughtry is still moping for losing out to Taylor Hicks, Katherine McLegs and the Amish Guy."

HAHAHAHAHA that's awesome. Yet so, so true.

Amy xxoo said...

I am so loving everybodies 2009 best ofs. I have mine own planned for some time this week - i just have to find the time in between beastfeeding ( TMI? Too bad! )

Nyxmyst said...

No fair, using your other posts to create your is.. umm.. cheating. I had to do it the hard way. :P

Little Ms Blogger said...

Bride Wars robbed me of 2 hours I want back. It was a horrible train wreck.

You should see Blindside and Precious (Monique is fabulous in her role even though disturbing).

Sam_I_am said...

I agree on Tabatha's Salon Takeover. I got stuck watching it after my dearest husband lost the remote and this blasted technology thing won't let me change channels without it, sooo I watched a TST marathon and got hooked.

BeckEye said...

Hey, I just did a best songs of the decade list. You calling me ridiculous, punk??

Ah well, I forgive you for mentioning Charlie. *sigh* Charlie.

Anonymous said...

Wait... I mean, seriously, hold up... you've not seen "The Hangover?"

That's just crazy talk.

And don't tell me that's one of the ones you don't ever plan on seeing.

Andy said...

P- Happy New Year; hopefully, we won't spend 2010 watching Bride Wars 2. (They aren't making one, are they?)
Cats- You're missing a lot if you aren't watching Big Love
AA- I think he and McLegs were hooking up. Let's just be real.
Amy- I hope to God you mean breastfeeding. Otherwise, you gave birth to another creature, like in "Species."
Nyx- It's not cheating if it's clever.
Little- I will definitely see both of those.
Sam- Whatever gets you to watch.
Beck- Rock Flag and Eagle.
Joshlos- I just watched it this weekend! I'm cool now, right? (It was hilarious)

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