To discuss a year in review, with the top music, TV and movies... and the worst

Everyone and their mother, as well as their step-mother, baby mama, and their sugar mama, has been making lists to celebrate the demise of 2009.

Some even more adventurous people have been doing best of the decade stuff, which I think are a tad ridiculous. I was in high school a decade ago. My tastes in everything - my taste in girls- were all different. I had freaking braces a decade ago. How could I possibly evaluate what was good at the start of the decade, when I was basically a different person? And how can you compare, say, the hottest women of the decade - some of them were in middle school at the beginning of the decade. I guess you could rank middle school girls now to get a head start on 2020, while I'll get a head start on 2035 by ranking fetuses.

What I can do is look back at 2009, using my ever-handy Month in Reviews (minus May, which I skipped), and show you my list of the best music, TV and movies I experienced. Some of these were made before 2009, but I heard/watched them now, so I figure that counts. I mean, who has the time to check out all the new movies the same year they are released? Out of the top 10 grossing movies this year, I haven't seen any of them (nor will I for some, as there's no good reason to see Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen unless the "fallen" indicates Megan Fox's shirt, and even then, she'd still be talking, so what's the point?).

At the bottom, you'll find some of the worst stuff that came out in 2009. I was hard-pressed to think of bad movies, as I tend not to pay to watch crappy new movies, as I tend not to be rich.

What do you think of my selections? Can you offer some suggestions? Do not try to disagree about my inclusion of "Jersey Shore," or we'll have a Situation.

Best Music:
December: "Forever" Drake; "Shake It Out" Manchester Orchestra (Ed. note: Not included: Christmas Shoes.)
November: "In Case of Rapture" As Tall As Lions
October: "Wishing Well" Airborne Toxic Event
September: "Make Her Say" Kid Cudi (Ed. note: Yeah, everybody did a remix of "Poker Face," but this was among the better ones. Even if Kanye was on it.)
August: "Ignorance" Paramore
July: "Old White Lincoln" Gaslight Anthem
June: "Panic Switch" Silversun Pickups
April: "Zero" Yeah Yeah Yeahs
March: "Crack the Shutters" Snow Patrol
February: "Blue Ridge Mountains" Fleet Foxes (Ed. note: Kind of like the Beach Boys for the 2000s)
January: "A Milli," Lil Wayne; "In My Head," Your Vegas

Best TV:
December: Jersey Shore; Teen Mom (Ed. note: Jersey Shore is all the things we love about Real World, without the thinly veiled promise of emotional depth. Snookie gets punched in the face! The Situation has too many girls trying to get in his hot tub! J-Woww saw Pauly D's little Italian! Ronnie is an obvious HGH user! ... Teen Mom, on the other hand, is the best of True Life and one of the most accurate portrayals of lower middle class/working poor teen life I've seen. Plus, I love Gary, who most recently got slapped in the face by Amber. Love you, Gar!)
November: Tabatha's Salon Takeover (Ed. note: Bravo's best reality show)
October: Curb Your Enthusiasm; It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (Ed. note: Charlie: "I'm a full on rapist." Disturbed date: "You mean a philanthropist?")
September: Community
August: Hard Knocks (Ed. note: This year, it focused on the Cincinatti Bengals ... who went on this NFL season to win their division while also suffering the death of teammate Chris Henry)
July: So You Think You Can Dance
June: True Blood; 16 and Pregnant
April: Eastbound and Down (Ed. note: I'm Kenny F*$@%@$ Powers)
March: Make Me a Supermodel; Big Love (Ed. note: MMS is everything Top Model wants to be, plus it actually uses the catwalk every episode; Big Love is one of the best written shows around)
February: American Idol
January: Property Virgins (Ed. note: I'd say this is a guilty pleasure, but I don't feel guilty for watching. I feel wonderful. That, and Sandra has such nicely-tailored outfits. I feel I should reward her by watching.)

Best Movie:
December: It's Complicated; Julie and Julia (Ed. note: My whole family went to see It's Complicated, and we all liked it. John Krasinski has a funny line every time he speaks, and who doesn't like Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin?)
November: Australia; The Goods
October: Zombieland (Ed. note: Humor and zombies and Bill Murray and Twinkies. There isn't a downside.)
September: I Love You, Man; Adventureland
August: Eagle Eye
July: The Proposal (Ed. note: Much better than it needed to be. Ryan Reynolds is the most underrated actor in Hollywood. Right? Well, he and Mark Paul Gosselaar.)
June: Star Trek
April: The Reader
March: Fast and Furious (Ed. note: I was 18 when the first Fast and Furious came out. And I still love it. That means either the movies have matured as I've grown older, or I haven't matured as more movies came out. Let's be real and go with B.)
February: Pineapple Express; He's Just Not That Into You
January: The Wrestler (Ed. note: Just watched it again on HBO. Marisa Tomei is incredibly naked the entire movie. And yet, Mickey Rourke is the most mesmerizing thing on screen. How is that possible?)

Among the worst:
TV:
NYC Prep, Bravo
This had all the worst qualities of Bravo reality shows, namely "Real Housewives," all rolled into one. Pretentious, snobby kids. Drama over non-events. Greediness. Shallowness. Bad hair. Talking about poor people but really meaning middle class people. More bad hair. Names that make you want to gag.

Runner-up: Accidentally on Purpose, CBS

Movie:
Bride Wars
I expect this from Kate Hudson, but Anne Hathaway? She didn't have a better script available? The whole movie made it seem like women will stop at nothing to get the perfect wedding, even at the expense of their best friend. And that women care more about the wedding than the man they are marrying. And that Kate Hudson is desirable.

Music:
"No Surprise" Daughtry
I generally don't hold a grudge when a really bad song is successful, as sometimes people like to play stuff that is so bad, it's good, i.e. "Party in the USA." But "No Surprise" isn't that. It's not a poorly crafted song. It's just mediocre. And it sounds like every Creed knock-off already out there. That's a far worse offense. Let's face it. Chris Daughtry is still moping for losing out to Taylor Hicks, Katherine McLegs and the Amish Guy.
Runner-up:
"Fire Burning" Sean Kingston; "I Gotta Feeling" Black Eyed Peas

To discuss a Month in Review: July

July went by so quickly that I almost forgot to do a Month in Review. Before I forget all that happened, here's my rundown.

Favorite movie: "The Proposal" Ryan Reynolds is who I want to be when I grow up. He's like the more advanced version of me, the homo sapien to my homo erectus*. And his abs are pretty. On a non bromance note, there are a surprising number of laugh-out-loud moments (thanks, Betty White) and some nice old-school hip-hop. Yep.

Runner-up: "Stardust" Yeah, I'm surprised, too, but Robert DeNiro makes a great flamboyant gay pirate, and Claire Danes is just so Claire Danes-ee.

Least favorite movie: "The Breakup" I almost forgot Jennifer Aniston walks around naked in this movie. And even that was kind of a letdown, as she's eternally PG-13 naked on magazines, anyway. The big reason this movie is on here? The ending. Won't ruin it, but there's a feeling the director forgot to include the last scene.

Favorite song: "Old White Lincoln" Gaslight Anthem. Think "Friday I'm In Love." Same style. I heart this band in a total Tiger Beat fan club way. Runner-up: "Since We've Been Wrong," Mars Volta, "Winter Song," Sara Barailles (it was on So You Think You Can Dance)

Least favorite song: "No Surprise" Daughtry. The 2000's Creed.

Favorite album: "'59 Sound," Gaslight Anthem. Check out High Lonesome and the title track in particular.

Best TV Show: "So You Think You Can Dance" Everything that's wrong with American Idol is right with SYTYCD. Better judges. More memorable performances. Much better host.

Worst TV show: "Michael Jackson SpectacleMemorial." That was just creepy, like a morbid Grammys. I couldn't stop watching it, and yet, on the other hand, who gave a crap about Michael Jackson in the past 10 years? That's not to undermine his impact, but after listening to all those eulogies, you'd think he saved the world from sin by moonwalking up Calvary. He sang catchy pop music and contribued to the "Free Willy" sountrack. Legend? Sure. Relevant? If it wasn't for his child molestation stuff, would anyone have talked about him this decade?

Best moment: Going to Virginia for a wedding and a trip to Mt. Vernon. There is now photographic proof of the alleged "Tearing Up My Heart" performance, led by the groom and groomsman and the only guy not wearing a suit, me.
Runner-up: My first Fourth of July with Capricorn. Fourth of July is the most romantic of holidays- Christmas has too much happy holidays pressure, New Year's is only about one second, Valentine's Day is a bit forced, and Easter is about my favorite guy dying. Fourth of July, well, that's about America Rock Flag and Eagle. If you're not an "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" fan, please disregard that statement. If you are, then enjoy this:


Worst moments: Getting caught in D.C. traffic, which reminded me of getting caught in Connecticut traffic, which reminded me of being doused in hydrocholoric acid and transportation failure.

Worst decision: Not having a more lucrative career, so I can go on splurges when I visit the biggest mall in all the land.

Favorite Blog Post by Me: Wasn't even on my site. Plus, I think I offered some good social media advice.

Favorite Blog Entry by Someone Else: Although much more adult-contenty that some might like, I enjoyed Zan's TMI about something that was loss, and then found. It's not the prodigal son, I'll just say that. Hysterical.

Blogger of the Month: In a long overdue award, let me give some praise to Min-D, who, among other things, delved into the hidden meaning of a certain Britney Spears song. I confess it took me a bit to also realize Britney isn't some Cold Case detective searching for a runaway named Amy. Consider this award a belated birthday present, Min-D.

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* heh.

Coming soon: Review of Maxim and Cosmo.