To discuss me becoming Uncle ARS Chase

It may have been a few weeks early than expected, it may have come in the wee hours of the morning, and it may have caught everyone by surprise, but Paula Abdul has been named Simon Cowell's replacement on Amer...

Wait, that's later.

The real announcement: I'm a freaking uncle.

Baby Jonathan weighs a little less than five pounds and is doing just fine, thank you. In comparison, I weighed almost 10 pounds when I was born, a fact my mother reminds me of like it's my fault she didn't switch me off an all-carb interwomb diet.

My sister, who is also doing just fine, thank you, had him early this morning, a few weeks earlier than the planned C-section. Sometimes, babies just get bored and want to come out, likely because they only get like 10 channels and no WiFi in there.

So first thing this morning I went down to the hospital to meet my nephew. As he is the first baby for the three siblings (sister, brother and me), it's extra special. All subsequent babies will be like the 98 Degrees to his Backstreet Boys.

I hope I can be a good uncle, and have already chosen as my model Uncle Phil from "Fresh Prince of Bel Air," minus the mansion and penchant for throwing always-troublesome best friends out the front door.

But if there's another famous uncle I should learn from, please let me know. No Uncle Scrooge McDucks, Uncle Sams or Uncle Kracker.

To discuss MILF: On the Playground Is Where I Spent Most of My Days

It's the last Friday of the month.
What does that mean?
Well, it means I'm moving. Yes, I took today off to move across town, with the aid of my family. But more on that later. Right now, the last Friday means...
... MILF. It's the third time around for Music I Loved Friday. The first one featured Britney Spears, the second one was Blink 182, and this time it's...

Hey, I'm moving, the Fresh Prince is moving, it all makes sense, right? Here's the extended version of the theme song. Do you know alllll the lyrics?

Flashback:
It's the mid-1990s. I'm in middle school, which, retrospectively, is the third ring of hell. But, at least there's good TV on, right? Friends, Mad About You, Seinfeld, Saved by the Bell: The College Years (OK, maybe not that one). Now, back in time:

I wonder if I'll grow chest hair? Hmm. Is that a chest hair? No, no, that's a corn flake. Dang it. I just wish I could be like the cool kids on TV, like Joey from Blossom. Whoa! I wonder if I, too, should tie a flannel shirt around my waist. Or name my firstborn Six.
Wait, what's this show? It's an entire show with black people. Does NBC know this? I thought they were adverse to diversity.
I like it, though. That Fresh Prince dude is totally tubular.* Who knew that a rapper could be such a good actor?**
I wonder if I should start doing the Carlton dance at my school dances. Will the fly honeys like it? I can sing "It's Not Unusual" at the same time. That seems like a guaranteed panty dropper.
Speaking of which, I'm torn between which girl is hotter- Hilary or Ashley. Hilary was fooling around with that Trevor guy for a bit, but lucky for me, he died in that bungee jumping accident. And Ashley, well, her music career didn't take off, despite Will's best attempts at being her manager. I felt bad for her when she was at the record store signing event, and no one showed up.
Actually, Will fails a bunch on this show, doesn't he? He did end up getting Boyz II Men at Nicky's christening, I guess, but most times, he's just a Silly Willy.
Wow, he and Carlton just got ripped a new one for having that pool party when Uncle Phil was gone! He's so upset, he took them to court! Oh, Uncle Phil, chill-ax!
Hey now... this theme song, it's catchy. I think I can remember all the words. That should improve my street cred, because nothing says street cred like white people learning the rap lyrics to a show all about rich black people.
"In West Philadelphia born and raised..."
-----------------------
* Or whatever slang was in at that time. Cowabunga? Neat-o?
** I would later take this back after watching I-Robot.

To discuss a new item to vote on: 90s TV couples

What's that, America? Tired of democracy?
Well, too bad. It's voting time, and I accept all Republicans, Democrats, unregistered voters, illegal immigrants, felons, Whigs and Tories out there.
I want you to vote in the poll on the right of the page on:

The Top Young Couple from a 90s Television Show
Your candidates are only those who actually got together for a significant period of time. Sorry, Doug Funny and Patty Mayonnaise... Leave comments defending your choice:

1. Will/Lisa, "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" Sure, Lisa gave Will the stank eye every time some fly honey came around, but they were good together. Lisa got Will to settle down and stop chasing girls, so give her credit. And Will looked past the fact that Lisa wore overalls as an outfit several times.
   
2. Zack/Kelly, "Saved by the Bell" Let's admit it. When Kelly decided to break up with Zack to date Jeff, the college guy, and Zack asks her for one more dance at their prom, you got a little teary eyed. Wait, that's just me? Well, screw you.
   
3. Cory/Topanga, "Boy Meets World" This one was destined to be, even in the years before Ben Savage hit puberty and then, uh, became even more awkward.
   
4. D.J./Steve, "Full House" An under-appreciated romance in the legions of 90s shows, these lovebirds dated for two years. Steve was seen eating everything in site, which is ironic, since D.J. was anorexic for a brief time until Steph saw her on the treadmill. (Remember that?)
   
5. Dawson/Joey, "Dawson's Creek" I waxed and waned on my appreciation for DC, but I did watch it enough to know this was the romance that was meant to be, even if Dawson screwed it up over and over by going for the wrong girl or using large words that no 17-year-old should know, not to mention Joey prepping for her years as Tom Cruise's baby maker.
   
6. Kermit/Miss Piggy, "Muppet Babies" Does this need to be explained? Because I don't think it does.
   
7. Kevin/Winnie, "The Wonder Years" I get by with a little help from Kevin Arnold's love for Olive Oil. I never quite understood the attraction, but if it works, it works. I wish they still had this show on. Like, right now.
   
8. Stefan/Laura, "Family Matters" I wish I could include Steve Urkle instead of Stefan, but it was the alter ego that had the longer relationship, which makes Laura a superficial ho.
   
9. Kirk Fogg/Olmec "Legends of the Hidden Temple" There was always a special connection between these two. Kirk would look at Olmec for an answer, for wisdom, for guidance, and Olmec wouldn't even blink- he'd give Kirk, in his khaki cargo shorts glory, everything he wanted.
   
10. Write-in candidate of your choosing (but not Nader)

Results will given at a later date, as they don't show up properly in the sidebar.